auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18086
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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 Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 4:31 am Post subject: |
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| front wrote: | For years have had and still have the same thoughts about it.
Active - no
Passive - yes i wouldnt let them treat cancer, or if a car comes my side of the road i would happyly stay on mine
I dont wish for my family to have extra grieve but if i can get a good excuse .... any day is as good as the next day to die aint it? |
sorry to be a killjoy [unintentional pun], but- if you don't let them treat cancer and it spreads to something like your brain or eyes or something which would leave you maimed and in much unpleasantness, then where would you be? cancer is a crappy way to go out, with protracted pain. same for getting hit by a car, it could just maim you for the rest of your life instead of killing you outright. when i was younger i was "accident-prone" and stumbled into many situations that should've killed me but for some reason unknown to me then, did not. luckily i never even got maimed by these "accidents" which were subconscious attempts by a part of me to off myself. but i've also seen the results [working in a hospital for decades] of people who tried most sincerely to end their lives but instead maimed themselves something awful, and they were in far worse a situation than they were in before- the lucky ones were vegetables who were unconscious of their awful new "jumping from the frying pan into the fire" situations. the unlucky ones [much more common] knew what they used to be and were in a situation where they no longer had any autonomy over their own bodies, and were basically "locked in" or stuck in their present living death situation. just think how awful that would be. i'm not saying don't commit suicide [only you can make that decision for yourself] but i am saying think it over as carefully as the most important life decision you will ever make. when it is your time, only then will you be allowed to go. |
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Asp-Z
Clockwork Planet
Joined: Dec 07, 2009
Posts: 11016
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 5:01 am Post subject: |
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I go through periods of feeling empty and very depressed, and during these periods I always feel like committing suicide. This used to be a fairly rare thing, but it's been happening more and more often recently. I think the rest of the time I'm just hiding how depressed I feel, so it has to all come out some time.
However, something happened recently which made me feel a lot better about myself, and I'll think of it whenever I feel bad in the future in the hope that it'll make me feel better in the future too. |
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tropicalcows
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 11, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 135
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| I've had suicidal ideation since I was 12. I'm depressed most of the time. |
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nilescrane
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2010
Age: 29
Posts: 894
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm never going to do the deed but wish everyday for a premature natural death. Have no interest in my life or life at all. Was just a mistake. Really wish my parents never met. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18086
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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i suppose i had to get this particular lifetime done and overwith sometime, it might as well be the present incarnation. sooner done, sooner overwith, i always say.  |
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housefannbnh
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 1
Location: New Boston, NH
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:16 am Post subject: Asperger's and suicide |
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I have recently had episodes in the past 2 months where I go into a suicidal mode....the first time, came 24 hours after drinking a Coke Zero....the second time it was 24 hours after chewing a few pieces of Orbit gum....Came out with my own diagnosis....the culprit?...Splenda.
Suicidal thoughts have been off again/on again throughout my whole life dating back to when I was 11.
I just never realized what an adverse effect this ingredient could have on me and my depression. And it's EVERYWHERE. In virtually every gum you can imagine.
In words, what does Splenda make me feel like? Picture Dr. David Banner receiving more gamma radiation. In addition to the massive depression, the psychotic temper lingering inside just scared me.  |
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front
Butterfly
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Posts: 16
Location: Rotterdam, Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| auntblabby wrote: |
sorry to be a killjoy [unintentional pun], but- if you don't let them treat cancer and it spreads to something like your brain or eyes or something which would leave you maimed and in much unpleasantness, then where would you be? cancer is a crappy way to go out, with protracted pain. same for getting hit by a car, it could just maim you for the rest of your life instead of killing you outright. when i was younger i was "accident-prone" and stumbled into many situations that should've killed me but for some reason unknown to me then, did not. luckily i never even got maimed by these "accidents" which were subconscious attempts by a part of me to off myself. but i've also seen the results [working in a hospital for decades] of people who tried most sincerely to end their lives but instead maimed themselves something awful, and they were in far worse a situation than they were in before- the lucky ones were vegetables who were unconscious of their awful new "jumping from the frying pan into the fire" situations. the unlucky ones [much more common] knew what they used to be and were in a situation where they no longer had any autonomy over their own bodies, and were basically "locked in" or stuck in their present living death situation. just think how awful that would be. i'm not saying don't commit suicide [only you can make that decision for yourself] but i am saying think it over as carefully as the most important life decision you will ever make. when it is your time, only then will you be allowed to go. |
Nope my life is my own and when i wanna quit i can quit. There are no valid reasons why i should wait to be allowed to go. And if something goes wrong and it looks like rest off life is a crappy way out. Well i luckily live in a country where euthanesia of the suffering is quite normal 
So no probs there |
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skribble
Blue Jay
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 78
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Simply waiting for the right time to go. Living like this is too lonely and emotionally painful. |
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Ldub20Owl316
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 19, 2012
Posts: 55
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:57 am Post subject: |
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| skribble wrote: | | Simply waiting for the right time to go. Living like this is too lonely and emotionally painful. |
Feeling the same way as you. Loneliness is a perfect reason to kill myself, a better one than if I were starving! |
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J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:46 am Post subject: |
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| I'll sign up to this little gang. Waiting for both Dad & Nan to go before swiftly following through the exact same ideation I've dreamt of since I was about 12. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14794
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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I guess if/when everyone stops caring I am likely to kill myself unless I die of an accidental overdose or something......but for whatever reason there's people who want me here even though all I do is bring other people down with my constant anxiety, depression and sometimes there is paranoia involved. Just don't know how long I can put up with always ruining things because of my mind....and even if I isolate myself I still think about it, and it still makes me feel worse about myself making me give even less of a crap about my own well-being.
I wonder if considering suicide as an option is ever anything that goes away, I'm guessing not.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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skribble
Blue Jay
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 78
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:03 am Post subject: |
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to @lDub @j-greens @sweetleaf
i was having a very bad week last week n thinking about it so much, hence my posting.
but certainly still feel the "common" thing here with u guys.
am trying to put it aside though - but yea, like@sweetleaf ppl still "want"/need me here,
and "getting rid" of oneself isnt exactly an easy choice plus act to pull off, as easy as it may sound.
Hope ur doing well at the moment. take care. hope to hear frm u soon |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2094
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: | I don't believe there is the same chemical kind of depression that makes NT's depressed. I mean, we can have those chemical inbalances to but I think the depression is different...more to do with frustrations of trying to function in an environment that isn't designed for us and lonliness.
I think it does help to know that there is a reason....aspergers, and that thrre are others who are different in some of the same ways you are different. I was suicidal from 16-26 and still think of it as a possible solution to the life long delima of being on planet earth. What I changed was not exposing myself to negative things as much as posible. I was a big punk rock fan and used to read a lot more environmental and social issues books. I wish I could be more pro-active in solving the worlds "problems" but realized I had to except this limitation....the more I read about politics and environmental damage, the more I feel like humans are a lost cause,cruel,stuipid,lacking compassion and always will be. That makes me not want to be on this planet and death is the only way I have ever thought I could leave (ship never came,lol). So I have to limit my exposure to such things as they act as a poisen to me.
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I was very similar with politics. people are a mix of good and bad traits generally, though.
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My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos
Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.
Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist |
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HammorHorror
Prepare for unforeseen consequences
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 18
Posts: 2856
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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I don't want to live at all right now. If only i could find a painless method, or an effective method to kill myself.
I have no money, so that cancels a lot of options out. I don't even live anywhere near big drops or high cliffs etc. Its just torture. I can't even make a damn noose properly. I promised myself i'd be dead by the end of April, and there's only 2 days left.
I'm not here for Nt type attention whoring, i really want to leave this world. I hate it, i hate everything. I wish i lived in the US were there is easy access to guns. I would travel to the set of cliffs about 30 miles from where i live, but i have no money, and neither do my parents.
I keep feeling like i shouldn't be here. All the painless ways to kill yourself seem to have some money barrier on them. The only pills that are around are aspirin, and i heard that they just melt your liver and you die painfully and slowly. I get so envious when i hear about a suicide, i wish i was that person.
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Gospel Of Rage |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18086
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:20 am Post subject: |
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| HammorHorror wrote: | I don't want to live at all right now. If only i could find a painless method, or an effective method to kill myself.
I have no money, so that cancels a lot of options out. I don't even live anywhere near big drops or high cliffs etc. Its just torture. I can't even make a damn noose properly. I promised myself i'd be dead by the end of April, and there's only 2 days left. I'm not here for Nt type attention whoring, i really want to leave this world. I hate it, i hate everything. I wish i lived in the US were there is easy access to guns. I would travel to the set of cliffs about 30 miles from where i live, but i have no money, and neither do my parents. I keep feeling like i shouldn't be here. All the painless ways to kill yourself seem to have some money barrier on them. The only pills that are around are aspirin, and i heard that they just melt your liver and you die painfully and slowly. I get so envious when i hear about a suicide, i wish i was that person. |
you are still young, how do you know it won't get better when you're a legal adult on your own? i only hope that you wait a while longer, wait until you can be away from people and situations that are getting you down. |
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