Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia
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 Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 11:52 pm Post subject: Fellow women do you sometimes feel self conscious about self |
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Even though I had people say to me you look a beauty. I still feel ugly as I feel like my face is round.
Women or men if your reading this do you ever feel self conscious about your self. This feeling is normal as many say don't be afraid to answer
And if you have advice for other to feel good about them selves please tell  |
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cinbad
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 366
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:09 am Post subject: |
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I have learned something about being self conscious. It is a selfish pursuit. It makes people around you uncomfortable. AND it is a waste of time.
It is selfish because you are only thinking of yourself and not thinking of how someone else is feeling (maybe they are feeling the same thing) This is an opportunity to make someone else feel good. Just like we enjoy an honest compliment , so do others.
It makes others uncomfortable because they want to get to know the real you and not the one your self consciousness allows them to see. Others know they have to bring you out of your shell to make you comfortable and not everyone can do that. Especially given the time constraints when first meeting someone.
It is a waste of time because you are who you are at that moment. As long as you work on your faults you can get better gradually but for now, this is it. Why should you waste time on worrying about how you look or sound as long as you are doing the best you can to be polite, that's all anyone can ask of you. Why waste your time worrying about yourself? You are missing all the things that are going on around you. Believe me, there are so many others who are doing the same things, they won't even notice what you think they are.
One more thing. Most IMPORTANT... If you don't like yourself...no one else is going to... the best way to learn how to like yourself is to laugh and acknowledge your faults, it is for these faults that people will love you. They make their own seem ok.... isn't this how you feel when someone can laugh at themselves?
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My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself. |
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Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:30 am Post subject: |
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| cinbad wrote: | I have learned something about being self conscious. It is a selfish pursuit. It makes people around you uncomfortable. AND it is a waste of time.
It is selfish because you are only thinking of yourself and not thinking of how someone else is feeling (maybe they are feeling the same thing) This is an opportunity to make someone else feel good. Just like we enjoy an honest compliment , so do others.
It makes others uncomfortable because they want to get to know the real you and not the one your self consciousness allows them to see. Others know they have to bring you out of your shell to make you comfortable and not everyone can do that. Especially given the time constraints when first meeting someone.
It is a waste of time because you are who you are at that moment. As long as you work on your faults you can get better gradually but for now, this is it. Why should you waste time on worrying about how you look or sound as long as you are doing the best you can to be
polite, that's all anyone can ask of you. Why waste your time worrying about yourself? You are missing all the things that are going on around you. Believe me, there are so many others who are doing the same things, they won't even notice what you think they are.
One more thing. Most IMPORTANT... If you don't like yourself...no one else is going to... the best way to learn how to like yourself is to laugh and acknowledge your faults, it is for these faults that people will love you. They make their own seem ok.... isn't this how you feel when someone can laugh at themselves? |
This was honesty the best advice I have gotten for this issue. I have never thought of it this way. Thanks When I feel bad about self I will think about this comment. |
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cinbad
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 366
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:59 am Post subject: |
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Believe me, I wish I had learned these things at your age....and THANK YOU for the compliment. See...feels good doesn't it? LOL
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My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself. |
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cinbad
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 366
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:05 am Post subject: |
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ohhhh one more beauty tip The BEST thing you can do to look and FEEL beautiful is to make sure after all the makeup and clothes are put on...look in the mirror and make sure you have a SMILE!! Everyone who smiles is attractive. Even the fattest, homeliest, wrinkliest people are actually attractive when they smile.
Or as my sister always told me, "Smile, everyone will want to know what you are up to."
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My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself. |
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Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:32 am Post subject: |
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| cinbad wrote: | ohhhh one more beauty tip The BEST thing you can do to look and FEEL beautiful is to make sure after all the makeup and clothes are put on...look in the mirror and make sure you have a SMILE!! Everyone who smiles is attractive. Even the fattest, homeliest, wrinkliest people are actually attractive when they smile.
Or as my sister always told me, "Smile, everyone will want to know what you are up to." |
Will keep this in mine too |
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dandeliondaisy
Butterfly
Joined: Dec 29, 2011
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:47 am Post subject: |
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I like your sister's quote, Cinbad.
Lady-ivy, I always remind myself that the things I find interesting and beautiful in other people usually end up being the things that make them unique or different |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26053
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:53 am Post subject: |
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Your face is round OP?! I'm really not seeing it at all. Remember what I said. There's nothing wrong with your face - you look stunning, girl. 
I am self-conscious but then I have much more reason to be. |
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Lady-ivy
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 382
Location: cailfornia
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:15 am Post subject: |
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| Tequila wrote: | Your face is round OP?! I'm really not seeing it at all. Remember what I said. There's nothing wrong with your face - you look stunning, girl.
I am self-conscious but then I have much more reason to be. |
I think every one has those moment. It's just a human thing |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8258
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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It is quite normal for young females to feel self-conscious, especially if one is not very confident, doesn't have many friends, and has poor self-esteem. I am a perfect example. I always feel that people are laughing at me, staring at me, noticing something's not right about me (even though I can cover up my AS), and I just feel that I am being constantly watched and everything I do is being ''written down'' in people's heads, as though everybody's my personal inspector. Rationally I know this isn't true, and I've been told many times that people probably aren't even noticing me, but I can't seem to stop these paranoid thoughts. When I hear people laughing, I automatically think that they're laughing at me, and then I start worrying that I might have something on my back or in my hair.
I also worry that I look quaint. I am slim, and average height and average weight for my height, so I'm not out of proportion. But I look in the mirror, and compared to other women, I think that there's something not right about my neck. It looks stooped all the time, no matter how much I hold my shoulders up. I can't seem to adjust my neck at all. And also I always worry about the way my neck connects with my head, because in photos my neck looks the same width as my head, whereas most other women look like their neck is more smaller than their head. With me it looks like one straight line from the bottom of my neck to the top of my head, and I keep thinking it makes me look quaint. I'm fed up with myself - why can't I just look normal like other people?!!! I'm just born to be an outcast, physically and mentally.
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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cinbad
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 366
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Cinbad, that is awesome advice. |
Hyperlexian, I have always thought you very wise. I'm flattered.
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Solvejg
i wear a fez now, fez's are cool
Joined: Mar 03, 2011
Posts: 6180
Location: gallifrey
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| I hate the way I look. I am not at all attractive. I look quirky, like a clown, and that tends to make people attracted to me. I would love to just be pretty or even hot. It will never happen though. |
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cinbad
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 366
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:17 am Post subject: |
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| Solvejg wrote: | | I hate the way I look. I am not at all attractive. I look quirky, like a clown, and that tends to make people attracted to me. I would love to just be pretty or even hot. It will never happen though. |
OMG Solvejg! I have seen your picture and you are absolutely lovely! People are attracted to you because you are pretty and original. You don't look quirky, your personality is quirky. That is sooooo attractive.
There are some people who have such a sad view of themselves because of a sort of catch-22 they have in their heads. They want to be a good person and conceit is not attractive so they downgrade themselves so as not to think too highly. It is a difficult problem to solve. Trust me, I have no reason to compliment you unnecessarily. Find a way to boost your self esteem. Tell yourself good things, not bad. You deserve it.
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:45 am Post subject: |
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| I don't care for how I look either. I got 50 pounds of ugly I need to get rid of before I can start looking remotely attractive and my face breaks out no matter what I do. I can't buy clothes without trying them on and I sometimes end up crying in the fitting room because of how my body looks in comparison to how I want it to look. If having low self-esteem is selfish, than I'm one of the most selfish people on this board. >.< |
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