gyaspie
Blue Jay
Joined: Dec 29, 2011
Posts: 90
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 Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:43 am Post subject: why do NTs always seem so confident |
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| why do NTs always seem so confident ? are they really confident or are they just acting confident. |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| I think there is a reason con-men are called Confidence Men.. |
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Teredia
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 621
Location: N.T. Australia
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:30 am Post subject: |
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Well confidence is a line that is in both NT's and Aspies it cant be just defined to one or the other. I am an AS parent of 1 and I know that with age i have learnt to become Confident. Confidence can arrise in many things and areas. sometimes its just from having the knowlege to do something correctly. Like I am confident my spelling is not good but i still have the confidence to write in public (grammer nazi's go jump off a cliff).
Anyways Confidence for me begun as a single teenaged parent. If i made out or acted like i was intheoror or didnt have courage i would have been tranpled upon by society. It is important for everyone to believe in themselvesm their actions this is the stemming root of Confidence.
Dont get me wrong people can become over confident and thus make fools of themselves when nothing goes to plan. but this can be said for both aspies and NT's.
Confidence really has nothing to do with what species of human we are its an inner thing, one thing that must stem from inside oneself. |
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Mdyar
emuegg
Joined: May 29, 2009
Posts: 2514
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:20 am Post subject: |
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The confidence recipe is success.
It all starts with these small steps from the beginning.
The dynamic continues, and such folks build a network of social relationships with time, and are able to navigate a job loss in one way shape or form, as one example. These can successfully interface an interview well, via people experience, find a mate/friends, etc.
Having the knowledge and the ability to practice this, paves the way for success with the work place and the domestic front.
Bringing home the bacon.
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jamieevren1210
Sherlock Holmes has Asperger's hands down
Joined: May 25, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 2142
Location: Taipei, Taiwan
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| Mdyar wrote: | The confidence recipe is success.
It all starts with these small steps from the beginning.
The dynamic continues, and such folks build a network of social relationships with time, and are able to navigate a job loss in one way shape or form, as one example. These can successfully interface an interview well, via people experience, find a mate/friends, etc.
Having the knowledge and the ability to practice this, paves the way for success with the work place and the domestic front.
Bringing home the bacon. |
This totally. Now I am stuck in a very tight place: being a good student plus going into med school in the future plus paving my way as a film actress. But I am sure I'll succeed. Find the balance. 
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Aspie, Sherlockian, nerd, actress, student, scout, punk, vocalist, guitarist, violinist, doctor wannabe.
AS, possible Bipolar and ADHD. Asexual. Genderqueer(sort of)
Gifted with an IQ I do not need.
MAJOR Sherlock Holmes&Green Day fan |
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Phonic
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!!!??
Joined: Apr 04, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 1331
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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Confidence comes from within, if you decide to be confident then it becomes true - or I think it does.
NT's put up a lot of masks to hide their lack of confidence, they're just as scared really.
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'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'. |
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1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4714
Location: CT, USA
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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They fake it and/or delude themselves into thinking they have stuff to be confident about.
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Too sugoi to die! |
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Who_Am_I
almost human
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 10646
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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They don't.
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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
I don't remember
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 4000
Location: in my brain
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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I think Mdyar nailed it. If you're able to 'work the system' with moderate or better success then you can build expectations of your future (employment/finances and personal relationships) with some degree of assuredness. In that case, you can reasonably feel that that things will usually work out and that the world is 'meant' for you (you're 'meant' to be a part of it), and that translates into comfort and confidence.
People do bluster and exaggerate a lot, also, though. |
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Frakkin
Blue Jay
Joined: Aug 25, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I think most NTs aren't as confident as they seem. They're just good at faking it. I have a friend who appears very confident and flirty around men, but she's actually insanely insecure and is diagnosed with general anxiety. It's strange. But when you get to know people, everyone has insecurities. Yay for being human. |
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Doubutsu
Raven
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Joined: Jan 20, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 115
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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I think that a lot of people who look confident aren't, some are scared inside but we don't notice (and they think we do).
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8408
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:42 am Post subject: |
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| Frakkin wrote: | | I think most NTs aren't as confident as they seem. They're just good at faking it. I have a friend who appears very confident and flirty around men, but she's actually insanely insecure and is diagnosed with general anxiety. It's strange. But when you get to know people, everyone has insecurities. Yay for being human. |
Yep, that is so true. Nobody's perfect. People may seem like they're all the same when they're out in public, but when you actually get to know someone and go to their house and stuff then you will find out something odd about them because everybody has their own way of living. Some like to hoover every day, some don't bother to hoover at all. Some smoke in their house, others just smoke in a certain room, others go outside to smoke, and others don't smoke at all. Some go to bed really late and don't care for much sleep, others creep off to bed early. Some have a bath every night, others have a shower every morning.....everybody varies. But everybody has their own oddity in their homes. Like my friend draws all her curtains when she goes out and puts a peg between them to keep them together because she's paranoid of people seeing in. Before I went to her house, I never thought she was like that, I always thought she was more....(whatever the opposite of ''paranoid'' is) than that.
As for confidence, people just have that social knack what seems like confidence to Aspies but probably isn't really when it comes down to it. An introverted person can still have conversations appropriately but can still be introverted and even unconfident. But don't forget, the majority of NTs have that social knack built in them, whether they like socialising or not. My mum is NT but loathes socialising, and gets all anxious and worked up when she's invited to a party or a wedding or some other social gathering, but feels guilty if she doesn't go, so she tries to pluck up the courage to go, and always says, ''I've got to endure this social gathering'', which literally makes me laugh because I know exactly how she feels! But when she's actually there, she can have normal conversations and do and say all the appropriate things and not look odd or anything, whereas I can't even do that at social gatherings. I just stay completely mute the whole time and can't have conversations with anyone unless I know someone really well and I'm comfortable with. Otherwise, I just don't know what to say to anyone. The right words don't come out, and so I just end up saying ''oh'' and ''yes'' and ''no'' and other short words like that. Once I was somewhere (can't remember where or when) and I was really, really shy, and someone asked me if I wanted a drink, and I shook my head - then realised I should have one because my mouth was dry, so I then nodded, but the person was so wrapped up in socialising that she didn't see me nod and just said, ''OK'', and turned around to talk to a crowd of people. I felt so silly after that, and hated myself for being so shy.
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Mummy_of_Peanut
Countess de Noir
Joined: Feb 21, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 3483
Location: Bonnie Scotland
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:17 am Post subject: |
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I don't think all NTs are confident. If that were the case, the staff meetings I went to were attended mainly by non-NTs and I know that's not the case. There were only a couple who weren't frightened to talk.
On the other hand, I appear very confident, when I'm anything but. I don't intentionally fake it, it's just the impression people get of me. It's the complete opposite of what's actually going on in my head.
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"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10355
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:00 am Post subject: |
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| Confidence isn't an NT thing, strictly, and not all NTs are confident. |
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