LennytheWicked
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 516
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 Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:22 am Post subject: Abusive Parents |
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My parents don't hit me, but sometimes I wish they would. My dad, every weekend, rants and screams and yells at me and my mother and my brother. The few times he has hit me, social services came and determined that, because our house wasn't dilapidated and there was food in the fridge, there was nothing wrong. Which totally explains why to this day I have back problems (he hit me in the small of my back when I was seven, and the nurse noticed I was walking awkwardly).
He yells at me for crying, stimming, trying to get out of the house, drawing, doing homework, doing chores [a way other than the way he does them], watching tv, and not doing anything. I have no idea what to do, but apparently there aren't services for children with verbally/emotionally abusive parents as long as they're not being starved or raised in squalor. I'm at the point, once again, where I want to kill myself and the only reason I'm not is because I'm afraid of getting hurt but not dying.
Help? |
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Kelspook
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Age: 38
Posts: 140
Location: South East Scotland
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:25 am Post subject: |
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| Okay, I'm guessing that as you mention homework, you're still at school. I don't what country you're from, but is there a teacher or maybe a guidance counsellor that you trust? Your best bet would be to discuss things with them, they may be able to help you. |
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LennytheWicked
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 516
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:29 am Post subject: |
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| Kelspook wrote: | | Okay, I'm guessing that as you mention homework, you're still at school. I don't what country you're from, but is there a teacher or maybe a guidance counsellor that you trust? Your best bet would be to discuss things with them, they may be able to help you. |
I told you, there aren't any services for children with verbally/emotionally abusive parents. I've told my counselors and a few teachers, but they never do anything. The only time anyone's ever done anything is when I came to school with a limp and handprints on my back and arms. And that didn't change anything. |
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Kelspook
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Age: 38
Posts: 140
Location: South East Scotland
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:45 am Post subject: |
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Actually, you didn't say that you had already tried talking to teachers and counsellors.
Are there any child protection charities in your area/country? Maybe speaking to them would help. In the UK there are things such as Childline and the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children). If we knew which country you're in, we might be able to help you find an organisation that you can talk to. Most developed countries have some type of charity to help kids like you.
And please, please don't hurt yourself, it really doesn't solve anything apart from making you feel worse. |
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LennytheWicked
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 516
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:12 am Post subject: |
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| Kelspook wrote: | Actually, you didn't say that you had already tried talking to teachers and counsellors.
Are there any child protection charities in your area/country? Maybe speaking to them would help. In the UK there are things such as Childline and the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children). If we knew which country you're in, we might be able to help you find an organisation that you can talk to. Most developed countries have some type of charity to help kids like you.
And please, please don't hurt yourself, it really doesn't solve anything apart from making you feel worse. |
I know I didn't. I said that there aren't any services for children with verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive parents.
The US doesn't care about kids who go to bed feeling like they're horrible, they only care about kids who pass out feeling horrible because someone just hit them in the head. The people in the US only care about infanticide, neglect (starvation), or physical abuse. My dad's only hit me a few times, and they haven't been recent. |
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Kelspook
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Age: 38
Posts: 140
Location: South East Scotland
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:37 am Post subject: |
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Try calling these folks- they might be able to help you.
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/help-for-kids
If you're worried about the URL turning up in your history, I've pasted a lot of the text below:-
| Quote: | You Should Know
No one has the right to abuse you.
You don't deserve to be abused.
If you are being abused, you are a victim.
It's not your fault that you are being treated this way.
It is wrong that you are suffering this pain, fear or sadness.
You are not alone. Other kids suffer abuse, too.
Sometimes abusers scare or threaten kids so they won't tell.
There are people who care about you and want to help you.
If you are being abused, please tell a safe person - that's someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, school nurse, neighbor or parent. You can also talk to a Childhelp USA hotline counselor.
CALL 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The hotline counselors work with translators who speak 140 languages to help people who call and speak something other than English. All calls are anonymous. (The hotline counselors don't know who you are and you don't have to tell them.)
How to protect yourself from abuse
Do not be alone with anyone who hurts you.
Listen to the little voice inside when it says that what is being done to you isn't right.
Find an adult you trust and tell them what is happening. If they don't believe you, keep telling until someone does believe you.
The adult you talk to about your abuse (perhaps a teacher or a neighbor) may want to tell the police or child protective services about the person who is hurting you. If they don't know the telephone number to call to make the report, they should call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) and press 1 to speak with a hotline crisis counselor, who will give them the number to call in your community.
If you are too nervous or scared to tell someone you know about the abuse, but want it reported to the people who look into child abuse, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), then press 1. A Childhelp hotline counselor can make a three-way call so that you, the hotline counselor, and the person taking the report in your area are all on the telephone at the same time.
Before you call to make the report, the hotline counselor can tell you what may happen after a report of abuse is made.
Get Help Now
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
A lot of people don't realize it, but every day in the United States thousands of kids are abused. That adds up to millions of kids each year.
Often children and teens are abused by the people who are closest to them like family, friends, sitters, neighbors and sometimes even teachers and coaches. These are the very people that children should feel the safest with.
If you need help or have questions about child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a counselor. The hotline counselors are there 365 days a year to help kids, and adults who are worried about kids they suspect are being abused. You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.
The call is free and anonymous. (The hotline counselors don't know who you are and you don't have to tell them.) There won't be a charge for the call on your telephone bill if you use a regular phone or a pay phone. If you use a mobile phone or cell phone, there may be a charge and it may show up on the telephone bill. Don't use a mobile or cell phone if you want to be sure your call is a secret. But please...do not make prank calls to the hotline. This will tie up the phones and keep us from talking to someone who really needs help right away.
Please feel free to contact Childhelp for help. |
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LennytheWicked
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 516
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Kelspook wrote: | Try calling these folks- they might be able to help you.
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/help-for-kids
If you're worried about the URL turning up in your history, I've pasted a lot of the text below:-
| Quote: | You Should Know
No one has the right to abuse you.
You don't deserve to be abused.
If you are being abused, you are a victim.
It's not your fault that you are being treated this way.
It is wrong that you are suffering this pain, fear or sadness.
You are not alone. Other kids suffer abuse, too.
Sometimes abusers scare or threaten kids so they won't tell.
There are people who care about you and want to help you.
If you are being abused, please tell a safe person - that's someone you can trust like a teacher, counselor, school nurse, neighbor or parent. You can also talk to a Childhelp USA hotline counselor.
CALL 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The hotline counselors work with translators who speak 140 languages to help people who call and speak something other than English. All calls are anonymous. (The hotline counselors don't know who you are and you don't have to tell them.)
How to protect yourself from abuse
Do not be alone with anyone who hurts you.
Listen to the little voice inside when it says that what is being done to you isn't right.
Find an adult you trust and tell them what is happening. If they don't believe you, keep telling until someone does believe you.
The adult you talk to about your abuse (perhaps a teacher or a neighbor) may want to tell the police or child protective services about the person who is hurting you. If they don't know the telephone number to call to make the report, they should call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) and press 1 to speak with a hotline crisis counselor, who will give them the number to call in your community.
If you are too nervous or scared to tell someone you know about the abuse, but want it reported to the people who look into child abuse, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), then press 1. A Childhelp hotline counselor can make a three-way call so that you, the hotline counselor, and the person taking the report in your area are all on the telephone at the same time.
Before you call to make the report, the hotline counselor can tell you what may happen after a report of abuse is made.
Get Help Now
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
A lot of people don't realize it, but every day in the United States thousands of kids are abused. That adds up to millions of kids each year.
Often children and teens are abused by the people who are closest to them like family, friends, sitters, neighbors and sometimes even teachers and coaches. These are the very people that children should feel the safest with.
If you need help or have questions about child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a counselor. The hotline counselors are there 365 days a year to help kids, and adults who are worried about kids they suspect are being abused. You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.
The call is free and anonymous. (The hotline counselors don't know who you are and you don't have to tell them.) There won't be a charge for the call on your telephone bill if you use a regular phone or a pay phone. If you use a mobile phone or cell phone, there may be a charge and it may show up on the telephone bill. Don't use a mobile or cell phone if you want to be sure your call is a secret. But please...do not make prank calls to the hotline. This will tie up the phones and keep us from talking to someone who really needs help right away.
Please feel free to contact Childhelp for help. |
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They don't help people with mental/verbal/emotional abuse. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13483
Location: My house
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:46 am Post subject: |
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| I hear emotional abuse is also against the law but it's hard to prove it. |
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Kelspook
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Age: 38
Posts: 140
Location: South East Scotland
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:49 am Post subject: |
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| LennytheWicked wrote: | | They don't help people with mental/verbal/emotional abuse. |
Have you actually spoken to them? If you haven't then it's a free call, what do you have to lose? They may know of some folks who can actually help you. |
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AspieAshley
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 16, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 174
Location: Bloomington, MN
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:25 am Post subject: Re: Abusive Parents |
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| LennytheWicked wrote: | | My parents don't hit me, but sometimes I wish they would. |
This is exactly how I feel about my parents. And the really sad thing is that when I try to tell my story and ask for help from the people who we young people are "trained" to ask for help from, they always defend our parents, or whoever is abusing us.
We need much tougher emotional abuse laws in this world, that's for sure. The emotional violence needs to stop.
_________________
Letting go is not a skill--it's the lazy way out. The real skill is having the courage to stand up for yourself and demand justice.
I'm not mentally ill--the world is!
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LennytheWicked
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 516
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | | I hear emotional abuse is also against the law but it's hard to prove it. |
Not in Illinois; the law explicitly states that abuse must leave some sort of mark: a bruise, a cut, a corpse. I checked. I asked my counselor. I asked my therapist. They all say the same thing. |
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Bun
Bunnymen
Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:35 pm Post subject: Re: Abusive Parents |
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| AspieAshley wrote: | | This is exactly how I feel about my parents. And the really sad thing is that when I try to tell my story and ask for help from the people who we young people are "trained" to ask for help from, they always defend our parents, or whoever is abusing us. |
Yeah, in my experience, people who are meant to help assume all parents are the same and all households are the same, and if you don't get along with a parent, you're the one with the problem.
You know what's unprofessional? a psychiatrist saying that it must be difficult that my dad isn't home within a minute of knowing me. Huh? That's such a generalisation, and someone who knew my background would definitely not say that. People who are not doctors are told not to make generalisations about other people, but there isn't really an enforcement on what type of social, emotional, or cognitive skills should a doctor have. |
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