Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
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 Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:05 pm Post subject: What's the point of saying hi; what happens if you don't? |
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| I noticed that I never say hi, only if somebody says hi to me, then I respond with a hi as well. In what way does it affect the relationship between me and my local society (acquaintances)? |
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fraac
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Posts: 1865
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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| It makes them think you're passive. I always say hi first and take control of the situation. |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3566
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't say hi first either. In real life I almost never say hi back. I'm more likely to nod, grunt, or acknowledge the person by briefly looking at them. In my online game I say hi back. |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Rasta is about freedom and the living God
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 7998
Location: Babylon
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:56 pm Post subject: Re: What's the point of saying hi; what happens if you don't |
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| Transhuman wrote: | | I noticed that I never say hi, only if somebody says hi to me, then I respond with a hi as well. In what way does it affect the relationship between me and my local society (acquaintances)? |
People don't care if you say hi or not. If they like you, it won't make a difference to them and they will continue liking you even if you don't always say hi. If they don't like you, saying hi or not saying hi will not change their opinion.
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JUST LET THE GUY BE FROM K PAX!!!!!! |
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fraac
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Posts: 1865
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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| If they don't know you and you say hi and smile, they'll like you. |
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dianthus
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 26, 2011
Posts: 726
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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In my experience, what happens if I don't say hello is people think I'm a snob. They think I'm snubbing them or rejecting them. Sometimes people get really mad at me about it.
As far as other people greeting me, I am never sure if they are actually talking to me or not. So I try to just greet them first to avoid that confusion.
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ADHD, inattentive type, not sure if I have AS |
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Ambivalence
The Obvious Factor
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 3642
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | What's the point of saying hi? |
It establishes (in conjunction with body language) that people are well, that they are friendly, and that they are ready if necessary to communicate. All useful things.
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No one has gone missing or died.
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cmeaspie
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 02, 2010
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't say Hi 1st either, if someone wants to talk to me I let them say it. Usually I am in my own little world anyway. On the rare occasion that I have gone out of my way to say Hi to someone, I've been ignored which leaves me feeling awkward. I have expressed this to my husband on many occasions and he thinks that perhaps people don't hear me. I think it's a conspiracy , the same people I have said Hi to & ignore me will say Hi to my husband who is right behind me. I myself think that I make it a point to say it loud and clear. I don't think there is a point to Hi (unless you know the person already & are saying it to be pleasant.) |
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mglosenger
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 20, 2011
Age: 140
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:23 am Post subject: |
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A greeting is like the ACK packets used by TCP/IP, it indicates desire and willingness between both parties to communicate.
Was that the question, or did I just want to finally publicly express that (perhaps obvious) metaphor
Hey, to answer your question, it's a social norm although it's not considered absolutely necessary, that is the basic idea of saying 'hi' or 'hello' or the like
THE KEY IDEA is to ensure that both sides of the convo are ready to converse |
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Jtuk
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 22, 2012
Posts: 732
Location: Wales, UK
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:10 am Post subject: |
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ok heres a tip. Saying "hi" or "afternoon" or whatever, is infinitely easier than avoiding any interaction whatsoever. Crossing the road, so you avoid saying "hi" or deliberately avoiding eye contact is a lot of effort and will make you seem exceptionally weird to your aquantances.
I'm pretty good at giving advice, not so good at following my own, I probably say "alright" usually. This is usually reserved for when an avoidance strategy is not possible, such as keeping ahead of someone, leaving the store or crossing the road with a purpose. As one time or past aquaintancies become even more distant, I've mastered the self deception of pretending that I don't even recognise them. It's pretty awful really.
Jason. |
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theaspiemusician
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 15, 2011
Age: 15
Posts: 384
Location: The Cosmos
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:15 am Post subject: |
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Well it starts a conversation. I say hi first sometimes but my voice is low pitched for a woman but very soft and quiet, so sometimes people don't hear me.
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Empathy Quotient Test Score: 63
Hmmm...interesting. Shows what you know about Aspies, doesn't it rofl?
"One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small but the pills that mother gives you don't do anything at all" |
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noname_ever
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Posts: 500
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Saying 'hi' when it's not a friend, but an aquaintence or coworker is a mutual acknowledgement of presence. It opens a chance of starting a conversation, but it usually isn't expected. |
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TalusJumper
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 14, 2011
Age: 47
Posts: 164
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:48 am Post subject: |
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Saying 'hi' (in passing) isn't a problem for me; however, saying the person's name is. My thoughts are too slow and by the time I think of their name, they have moved on. 
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Scores- Aspie score: AS-130, NT-75 You are very likely an Aspie
AQ-43, EQ-14
Actual dx: PDD-NOS |
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Doubutsu
Raven
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Joined: Jan 20, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 115
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:38 am Post subject: |
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| mglosenger wrote: | A greeting is like the ACK packets used by TCP/IP, it indicates desire and willingness between both parties to communicate.
Was that the question, or did I just want to finally publicly express that (perhaps obvious) metaphor
Hey, to answer your question, it's a social norm although it's not considered absolutely necessary, that is the basic idea of saying 'hi' or 'hello' or the like
THE KEY IDEA is to ensure that both sides of the convo are ready to converse |
Great metaphor 
Saying hello is like asking for permission to talk, if someone says you hi and you don't say hello back he will think you don't want to talk with him. It is also used to check if the other person can hear you.
Some people don't care if you don't say hello, other people need it to enter in conversation mode(they can feel confused if you suddenly start talking without catching their atenttion first) and I think most of people will feel offended if you are asking a favor and you didn't say hello first because it feels like you just want to use them and you don't care about them (maybe you don't care anyway, but if you follow the protocol it doesn't feel offensive because it's not so abrupt)
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I'm not a native english speaker, please correct me if I write like a robot or something, so I can improve. |
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TalusJumper
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 14, 2011
Age: 47
Posts: 164
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:56 am Post subject: |
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Saying 'hi' (in passing) isn't a problem for me; however, saying the person's name is. My thoughts are too slow and by the time I think of their name, they have moved on.
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Scores- Aspie score: AS-130, NT-75 You are very likely an Aspie
AQ-43, EQ-14
Actual dx: PDD-NOS |
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