I have no one now but if I did have someone & she did have another person in her life; our relationship would have lots of conflict & eventually fall apart due to me wanting her to spend all her time with me instead of the 3rd wheel
I don't think its impossible to overcome with some psychotherapy. You need to talk that through thats all. You admit it your self its a problem.
Joined: Nov 07, 2011 Age: 28 Posts: 1268 Location: The Butthole of the American Empire
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:23 pm Post subject:
I don't think it could ever be a good thing.
I cant imagine polyandry actually working for anyone. I think that marriage should be between 2 people.
A happy marriage would be impossible with more than one husbands.
I don't think that it should be illegal but I personally disagree with it.
It's a bit selfish for the children born into a polyandry family. _________________ “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act" ~George Orwell
"I belive in God, only I spell it Nature."
~ Frank Llyod Wright
Joined: May 05, 2010 Age: 30 Posts: 9732 Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:34 pm Post subject:
QuantumMichel wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I have no one now but if I did have someone & she did have another person in her life; our relationship would have lots of conflict & eventually fall apart due to me wanting her to spend all her time with me instead of the 3rd wheel
I don't think its impossible to overcome with some psychotherapy. You need to talk that through thats all. You admit it your self its a problem.
I spent 5 years seeing psychs & I got better help from online forums like this one than I ever did seeing psychs; I'm talking about couseling, taking meds & other stuff. I believe it's better for me to learn to work within those types of things instead of trying to change myself because some elements will stay with me. I can improve upon them & I am a lot better than I used to be but I need to learn to live with that too. Finding a partner who's like that as well in some ways would be great _________________ For info about where I've been & what's up with me check this post~
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5105431.html&highlight=#5105431
I cant imagine polyandry actually working for anyone.
I think a very appropriate response is this:
artrat wrote:
I haven't had enough human relationships to judge.
My family has emotionally hurt me but has never abused me.
I have been taken advantage of throughout my entire childhood so I can relate a little bit to the OP.
I fished this from an other thread(i washed that also, i didn't looked in too your history).
I spent 5 years seeing psychs & I got better help from online forums like this one than I ever did seeing psychs; I'm talking about couseling, taking meds & other stuff. I believe it's better for me to learn to work within those types of things instead of trying to change myself because some elements will stay with me. I can improve upon them & I am a lot better than I used to be but I need to learn to live with that too. Finding a partner who's like that as well in some ways would be great
Well, it seems you are on a forum right now
And talk to an other aspie.
In general a purely symptomatic approach, usually gives good results. Even if you don't understand whats going on. I mean, you just treat it as a phobia, you do a desensitization therapy, and it should reduce in intensity over time. In general you do want to know whats going on. For example this will not work on dyslexia or aspergers it self.
There's no guarantee, the above could give results.
Actually what i really have in mind is symmetric polyamory. You can see it as a novel kind of therapy. The key is to approach it incrementally.
(its the exact opposite of master's Yoda quote in your signature)
I have no one now but if I did have someone & she did have another person in her life; our relationship would have lots of conflict & eventually fall apart due to me wanting her to spend all her time with me instead of the 3rd wheel
I don't think its impossible to overcome with some psychotherapy. You need to talk that through thats all. You admit it your self its a problem.
Overcome what? Monogamy makes sense to me. It doesn't bother me if someone around me wants to have multiple partners, it's none of my business. Is it right for me? No. Do I think it, as an act, is wrong? So long as all parties are aware, then no, I don't think it is wrong, just a different way of going about things.
It's not about what you want, but about what you need.
Your brain doesn't know that cocaine is good, until you take some. Despite the fact that intellectually you know that you'll like cocaine. Then you can't stop it. With non-monogamy additionally you don't know intellectually that you'll like it.
It's not about what you want, but about what you need.
Your brain doesn't know that cocaine is good, until you take some. Despite the fact that intellectually you know that you'll like cocaine. Then you can't stop it. With non-monogamy additionally you don't know intellectually that you'll like it.
But I am sure I will not enjoy whips during sex, and without even trying it. Same thing with multiple partners. I don't need to have 2 or 3 girlfriends to know I would be miserable trying to balance all that sh**.
It is a common fantasy, so don't feel defensive about it.
But I am sure I will not enjoy whips during sex, and without even trying it.
Actually, that's not true.
These are instincts too, they are a bit diverted from there purpose and a bit obscure to understand there logic.
If the brain thinks you are being dominated, it gives out pleasure. The logic is, that if you are being dominated, you beater obey, or you might get killed.
If you are in great pain, again it gives out pleasure. The logic is, that maybe you are trying to save your self and in the process you are self mutilating. For example, the wolves that eat out there foot when they are trapped, use this brain mechanism to go to the end of the mutilation.
Most people,(fortunately) never get to test if they really have these instincts in them.
Bison554 wrote:
I don't need to have 2 or 3 girlfriends to know I would be miserable trying to balance all that sh**.
Like above, you don't know you have it in you, but you do. You never actually activate the neural circuits.
Bison554 wrote:
It is a common fantasy, so don't feel defensive about it.
Did you asked your self why its a common fantasy? When you imagine something, part of your brain thinks it really happening. This is why it reinforces the fantasy, thinking its real. Again this is because its wired in our head.
I'm not defensive. Most people think they know when in fact they don't.
Man, I've had a girl try and introduce small amounts of pain in sex. Seriously, not my thing. And the last place anyone needs to bring a 5'11" 250 lb aspie during sex is my survival instinct. It just won't work for me, I know this, and so I stay away. The situation is the same with polyamory.
And out of curiosity, how have you made a polyamorous relationship work as an aspie?
It just won't work for me, I know this, and so I stay away.
Actually you don't know that. Its very standard knowledge in psychology that people don't do what they think they will do in hypothetical situations. Bellow its an example. Almost 100% were saying they will not do that in that hypothetical situation, in reality 2/3 did it.
