Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
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 Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:15 pm Post subject: When to talk? |
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Sometimes, there are people of the opposite sex (I'm a male) in my class who approach me and just stand right in front of me, looking in my direction. I usually pretend I didn't see them and look in another direction. Then, after me ignoring them and looking in another direction for long enough, they walk away.
Am I supposed to say something when this happens? Am I supposed to make eye contact, or just continue ignoring them?
Also, when whoever I sit with makes a comment, like "I'm tired of this topic", am I supposed to respond to them or not? I usually don't. And if I am supposed to, what should I respond with? |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Rasta is about freedom and the living God
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 7998
Location: Babylon
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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I guess they want you to say hi or make a witty comment about something, so they stand there hoping you will notice them? When people make rhetorical comments, you do not always have to say something in return, but often what they want is agreement from you. They want you to say something, usually involving a cuss word because cussing is trendy.
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Cornflake
Rattles when shaken
Joined: Oct 31, 2010
Posts: 30282
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Social Skills and Making Friends]
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Giraffe: a ruminant with a view. |
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RobotGreenAlien2
Toucan
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Posts: 291
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| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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| i've never had girls just walk up and stare. |
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quirkyandlaughing
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 29, 2012
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:06 pm Post subject: Re: When to talk? |
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| Transhuman wrote: | Sometimes, there are people of the opposite sex (I'm a male) in my class who approach me and just stand right in front of me, looking in my direction. I usually pretend I didn't see them and look in another direction. Then, after me ignoring them and looking in another direction for long enough, they walk away.
Am I supposed to say something when this happens? Am I supposed to make eye contact, or just continue ignoring them?
Also, when whoever I sit with makes a comment, like "I'm tired of this topic", am I supposed to respond to them or not? I usually don't. And if I am supposed to, what should I respond with? |
Ha ha! I'm not laughing at you - I'm laughing at myself. I do the exact same thing. I can't say I have countless wooers vying for my attention, but I do hate it when strangers of any gender look at me without an obvious purpose. Unless I'm really firing on all cylinders that day, I totally ignore them. I would imagine a "hi" or a smile would be the socially appropriate thing to do.
As for your second question, I hate comments like that because I never know how to respond them. I often find myself agreeing whether I mean it or not and the conversation stops dead. My husband is NT and can turn statements like that into full conversations. It's quite impressive.
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Cookiemobsta
Blue Jay
Joined: Dec 06, 2004
Posts: 98
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:56 am Post subject: |
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If it's clear that they're paying attention to you (they're not just standing near you, or looking at something past you), it's appropriate to turn to them, smile, and in a friendly tone say something like "Hey" or "What's up?"
Usually when someone comes up to you like this, it's because they want to talk with you, and are waiting to be acknowledged. So if you acknowledge them, a conversation can start.
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minervx
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 14, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 1101
Location: United States
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Regarding your example, if the person is sitting by you, as in next to you, respond simply. Turn to them nod and say yeah. If they are further away dont |
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BMctav
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:21 pm Post subject: Re: When to talk? |
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| Transhuman wrote: | | Also, when whoever I sit with makes a comment, like "I'm tired of this topic", am I supposed to respond to them or not? I usually don't. And if I am supposed to, what should I respond with?. |
Conversation is a two-way street. You could ask what they want to talk about or change the topic. Regardless of what you say, they should really bring something to the conversation other than an observation about how they feel about a certain topic. |
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