hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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 Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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| mv wrote: | | Any suggestions? I do like that OKC seems to have a more eclectic set of people. |
i had more than one profile for more than one kind of connection at different times in the past. for all of the profiles, bluntness and honesty worked for me. i tried to put forward my personality in my writing style and my content and i offered up all of my quirkier and more interesting aspects. i am not "normal" or "average" in any way, so it made sense my profile should reflect that.
i thought hard about some things that made me different from other women, and i studied their profiles to get a sense of how NOT to come across. basically i figured out how to best promote my real self in a way that made me look as unique as possible.
it's hard to explain what i did really, but here are some examples of ones i used, far as i can remember:
...other profiles mention liking italian or japanese food etc, so i took it further. i expressed that people tell me i have adventurous tastebuds YET i hate veggies and don't eat chicken (it was a teaser so they'd ask why). also that i eat flowers and collect antique cookbooks (i.e. "Dishes Men Like" LOL)
...people always say they "love kids"... so i was brutally honest: i don't want to hear about anyone's kids unless we are in a serious relationship, and i promise not to talk about mine either
...women say they love, "family, friends and having a good time"... so i said i have hobbies i enjoy - and i don't expect anyone to do them with me.
...women rarely mention sex really, unless they are looking for hookups... so i bluntly said that i think about sex about as much as an 18-year old boy, but i expect to get to know a man online for months before i'd even meet for coffee.
...people try to appear as normal as possible... so i listed a few symptoms of AS and said that i have a certain disorder. if men could name it in a message then they would get extra brownie points
in general, i also made sure my vocabulary reflected my level of intelligence. i read my profile out loud to make sure it flowed. i chose a masculine user name (the name of a shop tool that i happen to be able to use) to catch the attention of guys. i really tried to promote myself in terms of advertising - i included quirky facts that stood out, and left some teasers for people to ask questions. people like a puzzle but not a boring blank slate.
i made sure the first line of my profile was like a catchy phrase, something like:
i like my beer bitter and my coffee black
usually, i messaged the men i was interested in, or winked or visited their profiles a couple times to signal interest. i did get messages from men but i prefer to be the aggressor.
that's all i can think of off the top of my head.
_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5043493.html#5043493 |
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autismthinker21
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 27, 2011
Posts: 155
Location: unitedstates
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:02 pm Post subject: Okcupid |
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I had that problem as well with okcupid. they think we autistic people can't be dating. not true. i see them as autistic not us. we
may act weird,but we are better than those on the site without autism.
it takes a walk and a stick to reach the end of the road.(autismthinker21) |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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I have several, none of them have done me a bit of good.
I've had a few messages from some really interesting young women... but whenever I ask them if they want to meet up.. they stop responding. It's a truly confusing situation, because I don't want to just keep messaging her about inane stuff and risk getting classified as "Friend only" material.. but at the same time I haven't quite got the knack of just how long I should wait to ask them out.
It's all academic at this point. I've messaged all of the women in 50 miles of me that I consider suitable. The rest I'm just not interested in, either they are physically unappealing, or are some good ol' gal who just loves big trucks, jebus and bein' raised in the south. Gag.
I mean I suppose I could widen my net.. but to be honest anywhere within 500 miles of me is pretty much going to be the same, I'd have to physically move to another geographic region, or else settle for a long distance relationship.. which I really am not looking for, since well.. the whole reason I'm on the sites in the first place is to find people to date.. not chat online with. |
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Wolfpup
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 1636
Location: Central Illinois, USA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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I'm on it (wolfpup76 if anyone cares). I'd say I've had better luck with it than ANYTHING else in my life. I think the questions do really matter, IF someone else has filled them out well enough. I do click with people much better with higher matches, so I think there's something to that.
BUT I'm not sure I can ever work in a relationship. Most recently...well, I posted a thread about that. I'm just not sure it's ever going to work for me. Frankly I'd really LIKE to try someone who both matched me, AND was a little on the spectrum...see if THAT made it so it would work. Because I'm not sure I do with "normal" girls. |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28105
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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Wow... I checked my OKCupid account for the first time in a couple of months last night and now I've got a message asking if I'd like to moderate. 
_________________
Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear |
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johansen
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 321
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | Wow... I checked my OKCupid account for the first time in a couple of months last night and now I've got a message asking if I'd like to moderate. |
you'll get that by default about 6 months to a year after you sign up.
I did that for some time, if its the same thing basically you vote on what to do with flagged messages, profiles, etc. |
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ebec11
If only I could fly...
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 7029
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Was on there for a month, took my profile down because I found somebody (going on my second date tomorrow!) |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28105
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| johansen wrote: | | TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | Wow... I checked my OKCupid account for the first time in a couple of months last night and now I've got a message asking if I'd like to moderate. |
you'll get that by default about 6 months to a year after you sign up.
I did that for some time, if its the same thing basically you vote on what to do with flagged messages, profiles, etc. |
I haven't a clue, but I dun wanna. It hasn't even been 6 months since I made the profile. I think...
_________________
Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear |
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Magnus_Rex
A Superman in a Kryptonite World
Joined: Oct 05, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 2036
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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| I have deleted my account. I officialy gave up on trying to find a girlfriend, for a variety of reasons. I am simply not fit for relationships: it would be frustrating for me and even worse for the woman involved. |
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Wolfpup
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 1636
Location: Central Illinois, USA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Magnus_Rex wrote: | | I have deleted my account. I officialy gave up on trying to find a girlfriend, for a variety of reasons. I am simply not fit for relationships: it would be frustrating for me and even worse for the woman involved. |
Yeah. this is how I'm feeling. Every time I fail, it just makes me more sure it's never going to work. Makes me miserable when I stop doing my fun games and shows and stuff and let me think about it, but...17 years of this and not one real success.
regarding the moderation thing, I *JUST* saw that pop up on mine recently, and I've been on there for years. Kind of interesting. I just thought it was a new feature. No idea why it only now gave me the option. Maybe you have to contact or be contacted by enough people, and it takes 6 months for some, and 5 years for me LOL. |
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Salome
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Dec 02, 2010
Posts: 195
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| Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfpup wrote: | I'm on it (wolfpup76 if anyone cares). I'd say I've had better luck with it than ANYTHING else in my life. I think the questions do really matter, IF someone else has filled them out well enough. I do click with people much better with higher matches, so I think there's something to that.
BUT I'm not sure I can ever work in a relationship. Most recently...well, I posted a thread about that. I'm just not sure it's ever going to work for me. Frankly I'd really LIKE to try someone who both matched me, AND was a little on the spectrum...see if THAT made it so it would work. Because I'm not sure I do with "normal" girls. |
I tried to find you but to no avail! |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Sociopath
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 22530
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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I am on OKCupid, but don't use it anymore
because I have already found someone to be with.
_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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Mego
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 244
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| Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I have met only a few decent guys on okcupid....probably like 1 in 20 are decent. I have been told match is better, however, it has a lot of spammers and of course you have to pay. |
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | mv wrote: | | Any suggestions? I do like that OKC seems to have a more eclectic set of people. |
i had more than one profile for more than one kind of connection at different times in the past. for all of the profiles, bluntness and honesty worked for me. i tried to put forward my personality in my writing style and my content and i offered up all of my quirkier and more interesting aspects. i am not "normal" or "average" in any way, so it made sense my profile should reflect that.
i thought hard about some things that made me different from other women, and i studied their profiles to get a sense of how NOT to come across. basically i figured out how to best promote my real self in a way that made me look as unique as possible.
it's hard to explain what i did really, but here are some examples of ones i used, far as i can remember:
...other profiles mention liking italian or japanese food etc, so i took it further. i expressed that people tell me i have adventurous tastebuds YET i hate veggies and don't eat chicken (it was a teaser so they'd ask why). also that i eat flowers and collect antique cookbooks (i.e. "Dishes Men Like" LOL)
...people always say they "love kids"... so i was brutally honest: i don't want to hear about anyone's kids unless we are in a serious relationship, and i promise not to talk about mine either
...women say they love, "family, friends and having a good time"... so i said i have hobbies i enjoy - and i don't expect anyone to do them with me.
...women rarely mention sex really, unless they are looking for hookups... so i bluntly said that i think about sex about as much as an 18-year old boy, but i expect to get to know a man online for months before i'd even meet for coffee.
...people try to appear as normal as possible... so i listed a few symptoms of AS and said that i have a certain disorder. if men could name it in a message then they would get extra brownie points
in general, i also made sure my vocabulary reflected my level of intelligence. i read my profile out loud to make sure it flowed. i chose a masculine user name (the name of a shop tool that i happen to be able to use) to catch the attention of guys. i really tried to promote myself in terms of advertising - i included quirky facts that stood out, and left some teasers for people to ask questions. people like a puzzle but not a boring blank slate.
i made sure the first line of my profile was like a catchy phrase, something like:
i like my beer bitter and my coffee black
usually, i messaged the men i was interested in, or winked or visited their profiles a couple times to signal interest. i did get messages from men but i prefer to be the aggressor.
that's all i can think of off the top of my head. |
I just saw this, hyperlexian. Thanks! |
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Whirlwind
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 10, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:31 am Post subject: Ok and pof |
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| I am on both and it's not working out. I am a 29 year old lesbian in louisiana. |
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