1814
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 01, 2012
Posts: 92
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 Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:31 pm Post subject: I 'm so angry |
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All the girls in my class keep saying how much they love and how incredibly hot Justin Bieber and One Direction are, and because the can't 'get' them, they are all interested in the boys (2 or 3) who look like them.
No girl ever shows any interest in me, even though I keep getting A and B+ grades, I know more about more than everyone else in my class, and I certainly don't see my self as ugly.
Do you have any tips that can help a guy like me hook up with a hot girl? |
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps you need to improve on your social side and be a bit outgoing. This way you can learn a lot about how to communicate effectively.
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ManicMinx
Sea Gull
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Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Posts: 207
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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| One thing that took me a long time to learn is that you can be very good looking and have many good qualities, but if you don't have confidence you don't attract the opposite sex as easily as other people. Believe it or not, people can pick up vibes that you're giving off both consciously and subconsciously. |
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Tom5
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Dec 12, 2011
Posts: 70
Location: תל אביב, ישראל
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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| ManicMinx wrote: | | One thing that took me a long time to learn is that you can be very good looking and have many good qualities, but if you don't have confidence you don't attract the opposite sex as easily as other people. |
That's a myth. I never really believed that.
Buff, handsome and rich men have something to back up their confidence, while men who do not have these attractive qualities do not. Off course you can always fake confidence but this doesn't work out in the end because women can smell fake confidence from a mile away. |
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ManicMinx
Sea Gull
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Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Posts: 207
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Tom5 wrote: | | ManicMinx wrote: | | One thing that took me a long time to learn is that you can be very good looking and have many good qualities, but if you don't have confidence you don't attract the opposite sex as easily as other people. |
That's a myth. I never really believed that.
Buff, handsome and rich men have something to back up their confidence, while men who do not have these attractive qualities do not. Off course you can always fake confidence but this doesn't work out in the end because women can smell fake confidence from a mile away. |
It doesn't work for everyone, especially if you don't believe that it'll work. You get what you put out there. |
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Dilbert
Will work for love
Joined: Mar 30, 2009
Age: 39
Posts: 1728
Location: 47°36'N 122°20'W
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Tom5 wrote: | | ManicMinx wrote: | | One thing that took me a long time to learn is that you can be very good looking and have many good qualities, but if you don't have confidence you don't attract the opposite sex as easily as other people. |
That's a myth. I never really believed that.
Buff, handsome and rich men have something to back up their confidence, while men who do not have these attractive qualities do not. Off course you can always fake confidence but this doesn't work out in the end because women can smell fake confidence from a mile away. |
It's not a myth. Low confidence is a social killer. Love yourself and have confidence in yourself and everything else, socially speaking, will just kind of fall into place. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:20 pm Post subject: Re: I 'm so angry |
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| 1814 wrote: | All the girls in my class keep saying how much they love and how incredibly hot Justin Bieber and One Direction are, and because the can't 'get' them, they are all interested in the boys (2 or 3) who look like them.
No girl ever shows any interest in me, even though I keep getting A and B+ grades, I know more about more than everyone else in my class, and I certainly don't see my self as ugly.
Do you have any tips that can help a guy like me hook up with a hot girl? |
first off, don't just aim to get "a hot girl" because then you are treating girls exactly like they are treating you... as in, they are judging you based on your looks and not based on other qualities. it's very objectifying and you can see yourself how much it hurts. instead, maybe look around for girls who share some of your interests, to start with, instead of a generic "hot girl".
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MR20
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 27, 2010
Posts: 897
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Dilbert wrote: | | Tom5 wrote: | | ManicMinx wrote: | | One thing that took me a long time to learn is that you can be very good looking and have many good qualities, but if you don't have confidence you don't attract the opposite sex as easily as other people. |
That's a myth. I never really believed that.
Buff, handsome and rich men have something to back up their confidence, while men who do not have these attractive qualities do not. Off course you can always fake confidence but this doesn't work out in the end because women can smell fake confidence from a mile away. |
It's not a myth. Low confidence is a social killer. Love yourself and have confidence in yourself and everything else, socially speaking, will just kind of fall into place. |
Again with this "confidence" BS. It's just a way how selfish and arrogant people justify treating people the way they do. BTW, f***ing changing yourself to be "social" (I hate that f***ing word) You shouldn't have to change yourself just so people will hang out/talk to you.
It's one of the main reasons I like being alone. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26054
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:47 pm Post subject: Re: I 'm so angry |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | first off, don't just aim to get "a hot girl" because then you are treating girls exactly like they are treating you... as in, they are judging you based on your looks and not based on other qualities. it's very objectifying and you can see yourself how much it hurts. instead, maybe look around for girls who share some of your interests, to start with, instead of a generic "hot girl". |
By that same token, though, you don't want to be stuck with someone that does absolutely nothing for you sexually. |
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Who_Am_I
almost human
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 10542
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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Start looking like Justin Bieber. 
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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
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Dilbert
Will work for love
Joined: Mar 30, 2009
Age: 39
Posts: 1728
Location: 47°36'N 122°20'W
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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To mr20: Why are you here then? Why are you reaching out to others on this forum?
See?
You need other people. We all need other people. You've had teachers, you might even have someone you are working for. They all gave you a chance you otherwise wouldn't have had. You'd literally be dead now if you didn't have other people to fall back on. Who makes your food? You keeps the lights on?
You need to behave a certain way if you want to hang out with other people.
Therefore if they reject you then you are doing something wrong and you should change.
See? |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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i didn't say to do that Tequila, but getting caught up in wanting a "hot girl" vs crushing on a specific girl means objectifying girls to the point they are no longer individual people. good looking girls can be worth knowing too, but for better reasons than their looks
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CrazyStarlightRedux
Fake Kiwi
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 1028
Location: Manchester, UK.
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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It's pretty popular to hate on Justin these days so I can see why you are so angry.
Otherwise, why do you care if they do? They have bad taste in music then.  |
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Skateri
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 07, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 178
Location: Århus, Denmark
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:55 pm Post subject: Re: I 'm so angry |
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| Tequila wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | first off, don't just aim to get "a hot girl" because then you are treating girls exactly like they are treating you... as in, they are judging you based on your looks and not based on other qualities. it's very objectifying and you can see yourself how much it hurts. instead, maybe look around for girls who share some of your interests, to start with, instead of a generic "hot girl". |
By that same token, though, you don't want to be stuck with someone that does absolutely nothing for you sexually. |
Sure, it has to match... It's the inside that counts but the outside that turns you on... But as the others have pointed out in this thread you gotta show some confidence... If you get to talk to a nice girl and she likes you but sees your low self-esteem you are friend zoned like that *snaps fingers* and that is a zone that's hard to get out of... And yes, girls get friend zoned too... I know I do... But that's not the point... The point is, get better at the social game and find a girl who's not necessarily the hottest girl in school but who you find attractive, find out if you click and just ask her out... It sounds simple but it can be really hard... Just don't wait for them to contact you...
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26054
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: Re: I 'm so angry |
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| Skateri wrote: | | But as the others have pointed out in this thread you gotta show some confidence... |
Get in there and do the stuff is my motto. You can piss and whinge about the feelings of rejection later when she gives you the bum's rush. Just make sure you make your stand.  |
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