Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
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 Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:42 pm Post subject: What's the biggest obstacle to socializing for you? |
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What *exactly* is the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?
For me, it's:
1) Inability to talk socially - that is, I have no interest in, or at least don't find it natural to exchange opinions on different matters or people with other people.
2) Inability to grasp social rules - don't know when to say hi, when to approach, when not to approach, when to say something, when not to, etc, etc.
3) Inability to read most body language.
4) Constant zoning out/being in my own world. |
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DJRAVEN66
Raven
Joined: Oct 14, 2011
Posts: 110
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:49 pm Post subject: Re: What's the biggest obstacle to socializing for you? |
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| Transhuman wrote: | What *exactly* is the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?
For me, it's:
1) Inability to talk socially - that is, I have no interest in, or at least don't find it natural to exchange opinions on different matters or people with other people.
2) Inability to grasp social rules - don't know when to say hi, when to approach, when not to approach, when to say something, when not to, etc, etc.
3) Inability to read most body language.
4) Constant zoning out/being in my own world. |
It's the same for me just add in being physcialy disabled and alot of sensory problems. |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1495
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Not knowing if I'm breaking some social rule, or missing a cue. |
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fragileclover
Velociraptor
Joined: May 22, 2009
Posts: 496
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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Having zero ability to engage in small talk, or any kind of talk, if it doesn't involve me sharing or receiving important and/or interesting information.
I feel really uncomfortable when I'm alone with someone else, because then it feels like the burden of conversation is crushing me. I could care less if the other person speaks to me, but I feel like THEY must care that I'm not talking to THEM, so then I feel really anxious and uncomfortable. I feel so completely handicapped in situations like that...when I'm by myself, I feel like I'm perfectly 'normal'. When someone comes up to me and says "Hi", and I just say "Hey" in return and then look away or return to what I was doing without attempting to engage that person any further, I'm reminded that I am definitely not 'normal.'
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Aspie Quiz: AS - 141/200, NT - 77/200 (Very likely an Aspie)
AQ: 34/50 (Aspie range)
EQ: 32 / SQ: 68 (Extreme Systemizing / AS or HFA)
Diagnosed with AS and Anxiety Disorder - NOS on 03/21/2012 |
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DC1977
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 35
Posts: 71
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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As mentioned above, not sure if I am misinterpreting or missing social cues.
Also being overwhelmed by amount of information zooming around the immediate area.
And after a social situation, spending hours processing what was said or done that might have been misinterpreted, which can take me a couple of hours, or a few days depending. |
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kestrel
Phoenix
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Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Posts: 574
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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(1) I tend to get distracted by everything going on around me.
(2) I feel like I'm ignoring people when that uncomfortable silence descends because I don't know how to respond or don't know how someone wants me to react.
(3) When I try to overcome (2) and hazard a response, more often than not I get yelled at or treated like I'm an idiot.
(4) Due to (3), I become sullen and withdrawn. |
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Dillogic
you know how it goes
Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Posts: 3318
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Lacking all social speak.
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Just a simple man trying to survive (who's asocial and doesn't accept PMs). |
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SoundsLike_Kyle
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Age: 29
Posts: 87
Location: The surface of the sun. It's toasty warm.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:27 pm Post subject: Re: What's the biggest obstacle to socializing for you? |
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| Transhuman wrote: | What *exactly* is the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?
For me, it's:
1) Inability to talk socially - that is, I have no interest in, or at least don't find it natural to exchange opinions on different matters or people with other people.
2) Inability to grasp social rules - don't know when to say hi, when to approach, when not to approach, when to say something, when not to, etc, etc.
3) Inability to read most body language.
4) Constant zoning out/being in my own world. |
Pretty much the same as well. And being cognitive of all that on the spot isn't easy, probably contributing to the overall overload in the moment. I can usually decipher how a social engagement went, good or bad, after I've had time to digest it. Yeah, talk about slow.
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Lasers, Pillars, and Gamma Charges. Avoid them. |
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CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| The biggest obstacle for me are people. |
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Phonic
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!!!??
Joined: Apr 04, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 1331
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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Other people missing my cues.
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'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8234
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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-Difficulties asking the other person questions.
-I can empathise but I find it difficult to offer advice or suggestions.
-I can't think of the right thing to say until it's too late, so I end up just saying, ''yes'' and ''no'' and ''um'' and ''arr'' and so on.
-I can't seem to get a word in edgeways when in a group, or if I do speak I'm always afraid I'm interrupting.
-I worry what I'm saying and doing and what other people think of me, which is why I never say much in a conversation.
-I don't really know much about anything, I sound stupid most of the time
That's it really. It mostly depends on the person I am talking to, but with anybody I speak to I always have at least one of these problems. But I do like talking to people, so there aren't many obstacles with me. I can read body language and all of that fine.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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OJani
a brat
Joined: Feb 24, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 2320
Location: Budapest, Hungary, Europe
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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- Sensory issues with smoky areas ( I suffer from cigarette smoke) and loud music (I can't hear what anyone says and it also has a bad effect on my mood).
- Short attention-span on what other's say
- Can't relate to what's being said in a conversation
- Not knowing what's interesting to others and often wondering why are those things interesting
- Lack of sense of humor / not liking when someone's made fun of
- Lack of energy to socialize
- Apparent lack of empathy (noticing someone's need too late, not noticing at all, not knowing what to do/say)
- General slowness / lack of response
- Face blindness / not remembering names
- Not remembering personal facts, what's been exchanged before in a previous conversation, either
- Not caring
- Distrust (disappointment?)
- Last but not least increased possibility to get hurt feelings, not being able to protect myself properly and interpret others' actions and responses
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Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one." |
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Communication issues:
Missing body language
Other people misunderstanding my body language
Hard time identifying what words the person is saying (may sound like just a stream of sound)
Hard time understanding the meaning other person is trying to communicate through their words
Hard time translating my thoughts into words
Lack of interest about most topics that other people tend to talk about |
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nirrti_rachelle
Go Tigers!
Joined: Jul 22, 2005
Age: 38
Posts: 1362
Location: The Dirty South
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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A lot of times, I don't know what to say. It's as if all the words in my brain go into hiding when I'm around people. I also have a hard time understanding what people are saying, especially in a noisy environment such as my former place of employment.
My brain obviously won't make whatever "pleasure" chemical typical brains produce that make socializing feel rewarding so I just feel drained, scared, and ready to run home fast.
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"There is difference and there is power. And who holds the power decides the meaning of the difference." --June Jordan |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9818
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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My biggest obstacle is my apartment door. I prefer to stay on the inside of it. 
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Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
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