Do any of you have this scent or is it just me???

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NMCB3299
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19 Feb 2012, 5:34 pm

:oops: Seems that I am highly attractive to some Neurotypicals' I have met to the point where they have become obscessed with me. Certainly I am a great conversationalist and have a quirky personality and so forth. The weird part of it is that when I am in physical pain or am very emotionally upset I seem to drive these people into fits of unbridled passion and lust. 99.5% of the time that I have been hit on big time by someone has been when I am upset and in pain. I cannot understand it. I suspect that I must be giving off a scent of pheromones so strong that the opposite sex loses all self control. Certainly I would love to meet that special man, but under different circumstances as pain and upset is truly a mood breaker when it comes to love. I just wonder if I go into heat on a primal animal level when I am in pain or badly upset.



ValentineWiggin
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19 Feb 2012, 5:49 pm

I can empathize on a number of different levels- people become enamored with me very quickly, because they see me as a novelty or a fascinating...thing...to study, and then sooner or later they grow tired of dealing with me. Likewise, I recently went through a breakup, my eating disorder has taken a turn for the worse, and for some reason I'm fighting off would-be suitors like there's no tomorrow- I don't know if it's the appeal of being with a small woman, or some visceral, unconscious, reaction to someone who's weak, but it's bizarre. 8O


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Mindslave
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19 Feb 2012, 8:22 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
I can empathize on a number of different levels- people become enamored with me very quickly, because they see me as a novelty or a fascinating...thing...to study, and then sooner or later they grow tired of dealing with me. Likewise, I recently went through a breakup, my eating disorder has taken a turn for the worse, and for some reason I'm fighting off would-be suitors like there's no tomorrow- I don't know if it's the appeal of being with a small woman, or some visceral, unconscious, reaction to someone who's weak, but it's bizarre. 8O


That is a rescue complex. A guy like that sees a pretty girl who is small in frame, appears to be sad, and all of a sudden he feels like an important person, like he now has a purpose in life. "Oh, she needs someone to listen to her, a shoulder to cry on, well I'm here!" The point is that eventually you will recognize that he was there when you "needed" him, and that to some strange extent you will feel something for him, because if you don't then you are a horrible person for "using" him.

I know this because I used to do this, and it changed when I realized what I was doing. At the time, I didn't know how to take other people's feelings into consideration. I wanted to, but I didn't know how because I couldn't read their body language, and because my need for affirmation was too great.



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19 Feb 2012, 9:56 pm

Mindslave wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
I can empathize on a number of different levels- people become enamored with me very quickly, because they see me as a novelty or a fascinating...thing...to study, and then sooner or later they grow tired of dealing with me. Likewise, I recently went through a breakup, my eating disorder has taken a turn for the worse, and for some reason I'm fighting off would-be suitors like there's no tomorrow- I don't know if it's the appeal of being with a small woman, or some visceral, unconscious, reaction to someone who's weak, but it's bizarre. 8O


That is a rescue complex. A guy like that sees a pretty girl who is small in frame, appears to be sad, and all of a sudden he feels like an important person, like he now has a purpose in life. "Oh, she needs someone to listen to her, a shoulder to cry on, well I'm here!" The point is that eventually you will recognize that he was there when you "needed" him, and that to some strange extent you will feel something for him, because if you don't then you are a horrible person for "using" him.

I know this because I used to do this, and it changed when I realized what I was doing. At the time, I didn't know how to take other people's feelings into consideration. I wanted to, but I didn't know how because I couldn't read their body language, and because my need for affirmation was too great.


Yea everyone wants to be Captain Saveaho in those situations... :roll:


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20 Feb 2012, 4:28 am

A damsel in distress is a mighty powerful turn on for most males. This is likely what you are experiencing.


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hyperlexian
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20 Feb 2012, 2:35 pm

it's interesting that you have this effect, OP. while NarcissusSavage is correct about females in distress being attractive to many males, at the same time... when women cry it is generally a powerful anaphrodisiac (mood-killer).

Quote:
According to a new study, even a whiff of these tears can dramatically reduce men’s testosterone levels and to a lesser extent, their sense of sexual arousal. With or without conscious awareness, women’s crying can just turn men off.


http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/06/t ... tosterone/

so OP, if you can cry and still turn men on, you have got something unusual going on.


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Matt62
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20 Feb 2012, 2:47 pm

This has happened several times with me. Somehow some girl I do not even know will hit on me at the *WORST* possible time. One time, in college, it was a chick who walked into my dorm room.. Well, I had a stricture at my bladder neck at the time. Sex was OUT OF THE QUESTION. Major, major pain.
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CrinklyCrustacean
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21 Feb 2012, 3:22 am

hyperlexian wrote:
it's interesting that you have this effect, OP. while NarcissusSavage is correct about females in distress being attractive to many males, at the same time... when women cry it is generally a powerful anaphrodisiac (mood-killer).

That article about crying turning men's sex drive off doesn't surprise me. It can be difficult to know how to comfort a girl when she's upset, and worse, when she's crying, because suddenly everything is "off the script" so to speak.



Jaejoongfangirl
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21 Feb 2012, 1:18 pm

I've also heard about the study that says women's tears are chemically effective in reducing male arousal. But concerning emotions manifested in ways other than effusive, torrential sobs, i think the opposite correlation is true. I should make a graph that tracks my stress level (independent) and the number of voluntary, physical interactions/touches initiated by men towards me (dependent).

I definitely get more complements about my appearance and romantic/sexually motivated attention when I'm stressed out, have cried recently, or had a lack of sleep supplemented by a copious amount of expresso. Fortunately, this is probably going to end up being evolutionarily advantageous because I'm planning to go to grad school for a PhD in one of the sciences. :lol: Yay for sexy emotional instability induced by stress and caffeine!

OP, maybe we're just more evolved.. I think we're just doing our part to shape a new, totally awesome graduate student wildtype for the year 3000. You and I can start a new, ultra-difficult academy that makes really, really ridiculously good looking students even more ridiculously good looking. I'll be Professor X/Derek Zoolander; you can be Hank/Hansel

If you want me to be serious, I think maybe displays of obvious emotions might make people seem more attractive by making them seem less cold. I mean, of course if you're happy you're more attractive/approachable, but it think the same is true for some other emotional states. Especially if you're usually more sure of yourself/insular, any emotion makes you seem more approachable. Which probably contributes to the appeal of a damsel in distress. Maybe.