beckym
Hummingbird
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 18
Location: Orange County, CA
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 Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:37 am Post subject: Someone to talk to? |
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| I've just recently been diagnosed with aspergers, I would really love someone to talk to that also has it. For support , etc. Preferably those who chose at some point to attempt to conform to society & it's standards. Also, in the age range of 18-30. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14841
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:10 am Post subject: |
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Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF.
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12688
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:47 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF. |
Very true. I would have recomended that you would have browsed through the forum and found those who you can connect with and approach them to talk in private messages instead of this. |
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:26 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF. |
Not quite, guys are desperate for any GF, take note of all of the desperados that have posted here wanting a GF. A few have said that they have to be attractive, others just want one.
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place.
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Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me." |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12688
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| PastFixations wrote: |
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place. |
Im quite sure thats just what OP wants. Not sure its what shell get out of this. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14841
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:48 am Post subject: |
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| PastFixations wrote: |
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place. |
That ain't what she's gonna get.
Not here. Aspie guys who can't get a GF want a foot in the door.
Although I do wish her all the best and hope she manages to deal with the spam ok.
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.
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MCalavera
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 16, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 4231
Location: Melbourne
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:22 am Post subject: Re: Someone to talk to? |
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| Facepalming this thread. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:27 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | That ain't what she's gonna get.
Not here. Aspie guys who can't get a GF want a foot in the door.
Although I do wish her all the best and hope she manages to deal with the spam ok.
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives. |
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:04 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.
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Pilgrim_NY
Hummingbird
Joined: Dec 27, 2011
Posts: 20
Location: NYC,US
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:40 am Post subject: I think that this girl is too cute to be true.. |
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Someone is trying 2 make a fool of all of us and check our responce  |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:41 am Post subject: |
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| Grisha wrote: | | hale_bopp wrote: | | OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this. |
I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12688
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:43 am Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hale_bopp wrote: | | OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this. |
I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population. |
I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:59 am Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hale_bopp wrote: | | OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this. |
I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population. |
I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly |
Perhaps not but neither are a gang of men in a nightclub or bar going to have an innocent motive, they aren't going to be thinking about making daisy chains and having tea parties with her. The only difference is that an NT can be more deceptive and and are better at manipulating those around them whereas people on the spectrum are less likely to take advantage.
However I can understand what Hale is saying to an extent, many men on here are less experienced and might not realize the boundaries and social rules when it comes to dating or they could act in passive aggressive manner, however it's wrong to assume that those behaviors are exclusively restricted to AS, that's through social conditioning, misunderstanding and a lack of dating, not AS itself.
I'm sure there are plenty of other records and crimes that have no relation to AS or people on the spectrum involving domestic violence because their girlfriend or wife didn't put out or their wife wasn't faithful or responsive. |
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:07 am Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | MXH wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hale_bopp wrote: | | OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way. |
That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this. |
I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population. |
I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly |
Perhaps not but neither are a gang of men in a nightclub or bar going to have an innocent motive, they aren't going to be thinking about making daisy chains and having tea parties with her. The only difference is that an NT can be more deceptive and and are better at manipulating those around them whereas people on the spectrum are less likely to take advantage.
However I can understand what Hale is saying to an extent, many men on here are less experienced and might not realize the boundaries and social rules when it comes to dating or they could act in passive aggressive manner, however it's wrong to assume that those behaviors are exclusively restricted to AS, that's through social conditioning, misunderstanding and a lack of dating, not AS itself.
I'm sure there are plenty of other records and crimes that have no relation to AS or people on the spectrum involving domestic violence because their girlfriend or wife didn't put out or their wife wasn't faithful or responsive. |
I'm with you on this one, there seems to be this perception that any attractive woman who posts here is going to be bombarded with creepy messages - I have several female friends who have been here for quite some time and this hasn't happened to them nearly as often (if ever) as some people try to portray, and if it does, it's dealt with swiftly and decisively by the mods.
Once again, this is a very dramatic, inflammatory, and quite frankly insulting, claim - people who throw it out there are obligated to provide an explanation for their belief.
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MisterSpock
Sea Gull
Joined: Jan 18, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 245
Location: Manchester-ish, England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:52 am Post subject: Re: Someone to talk to? |
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| beckym wrote: | | I've just recently been diagnosed with aspergers, I would really love someone to talk to that also has it. For support , etc. Preferably those who chose at some point to attempt to conform to society & it's standards. Also, in the age range of 18-30. |
To the OP: If you are just looking for someone to talk to, perhaps try the sub-forum "The Haven" instead of the "Love and Dating" one.
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