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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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 Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hale_bopp wrote: | | I don't owe anyone an explaination. I said a lot of aspie men, not "most" or "all". |
"a lot" is still a pretty general statement, that casts a negative light on enough people where it is not unreasonable to ask you to justify it.
"A lot of Aspie women are manipulative gold-diggers" - is that OK? |
I see what you mean.
I have to say, I wouldn't have said that if I didn't believe it 100%.
I'm going to start with my own experiences online and offline. These don't need explaining. I have been in contact with 10s of 1000s of aspies in my time on the internet.
When compared with the 10s of 1000s of NTs I have been in contact with on the internet, I must say the apies I have met in general are more romantically obsessive (Of course, you know.. obsession is a trait. This is from people I've dealt with, people my friends have dealt with, and posts on forums, both aspie and NT)
I'm not saying there aren't obsessive NTs out there who get all butt hurt. There are. But from my experience, it's a lot easier to come across as aspie who becomes obsessed with you as opposed to an NT. I run a website for gods sake. You have no idea the sort of crazy crap I deal with on it.
Like I said, I wouldn't have said that without a decent sample size of personal experience.
I was not implying that all aspie males are crazy. I said "a lot" because it's simply true. But I apologise if it came across to imply a negative light on all aspie males. It wasn't intended that way. |
That's fair, I'm certainly not going to argue with you because you're speaking from direct experience and I'm just sort of speculating, but I still believe the vast majority of guys around here are decent and respectful and I hate to see them characterized as otherwise to new AS people coming here for help.
Plus, I'm probably a little more sensitive on the subject than others... 
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives. |
about the bolded part, i would say NO. i see the things that you do not. i agree that that aspies are not any worse than other people at all, but in terms of safety.... WP is not a haven where people are less likely to get hurt. it's like any other online forum and has equal risks. |
I meant in relation to real life scenarios such as nightclubs or bars, a girl on the spectrum without a group of a protective friends or the ability to read social cues is a target for males in that environment. |
it's apples/oranges. each situation has its own unique dangers. and i want to make sure that people do NOT see WP as a haven that is safer than any other forum. it's also not necessarily safer than real life situations. |
I suppose you're right, I've just had positive experiences talking to people via Skype from here and meeting people at meet ups, most people seem to be positive and friendly on here but I guess you're right, precautions should still be taken. |
you're a muscular man who is over 6 feet tall. men who are built like you are not often victimised.
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention.
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM.
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spongy
...
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 7430
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
Theres nothing wrong with contacting a member via pm regardless of your/their sex.
That being said you have to be carefull about things getting out of hand and you have to ask them to stop contacting you/report them if they dont.
On an ideal world this people that dont stop would be banned already problem is quite a lot of members think they dont have to report a member because they stopped contacting them as soon as they mentioned a mod. However that only means that this person is now most than likely looking for a new target.
Its very scary and its extremely hard to keep track of due to the fact that it goes unreported most of the times so quite alot of people get away with it for whatever reasons |
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails?
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways)
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here
where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways) |
That sounds like a good idea for a sticky, but if something has happened involving WP members, it should be talked about specifically - no names of course, but just in general. Has someone been harmed physically or financially here?
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here
where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways) |
That sounds like a good idea for a sticky, but if something has happened involving WP members, it should be talked about specifically - no names of course, but just in general. Has someone been harmed physically or financially here? |
why are you asking that?
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Trigas
A bit crazy
Joined: Jul 14, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 4143
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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| beckym wrote: | | I feel like I need to add that I am not just a little naive aspie. I would NEVER meet up with anyone through the Internet. I am not stupid. |
Not everyone that meets up with people from the internet is stupid. 
I've met friends from online interaction to real life and they were certainly nice people.
Don't make generalizations. kthnxbai
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here
where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i
scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to
start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways) |
That sounds like a good idea for a sticky, but if something has happened involving WP members, it should be talked about specifically - no names of course, but just in general. Has someone been harmed physically or financially here? |
why are you asking that? |
Because if it did, I think the community ought to know, otherwise rumors and gossip will fill the void, otherwise it is irresponsible to allude to vague "incidents" like you mentioned.
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here
where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i
scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to
start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways) |
That sounds like a good idea for a sticky, but if something has happened involving WP members, it should be talked about specifically - no names of course, but just in general. Has someone been harmed physically or financially here? |
why are you asking that? |
Because if it did, I think the community ought to know, otherwise rumors and gossip will fill the void, otherwise it is irresponsible to allude to vague "incidents" like you mentioned. |
rumours and gossip will always happen, and we have no control over that. we will not address specific incidents publicly, now or ever.
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
females can sometimes be a sort of target, and if you add youth and AS to the mix it can be a draw for all the wrong kinds of attention. |
I have no doubt in my mind that there are sexual predators that look for young naive girls to exploit emotionally, physically, sexually or mentally. I agree precautions must be taken under any circumstances as people can sometimes have an ulterior motive.
Hopefully all of this talk hasn't made beckym feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or awkward on this website or in a situation where she does become involved with someone genuine from this website but yes, she should take precautions and be careful if she does meet anyone from this website. |
i hope this talk scares the heck out of her. i have had to deal with too many situations on here
where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to). if i
scare one person away from becoming a target, that's a job well done. it's one thing to post publicly and get support that way, and it's another thing to solicit contact via PM. |
If there's this sort of actual "victimization" of women going on here, why has it not been addressed in a more general way?
You're doing a real disservice by keeping it quiet - what sorts of things are happening, specifically? obscene e-mails? |
same as what happens everywhere. if you google it you can get some ideas. i am planning to
start a thread in L&D about dating/PM safety on WP, as i think there are special challenges here due to people's cognitive differences and misdirected sense of safety (it's a welcoming community in some ways) |
That sounds like a good idea for a sticky, but if something has happened involving WP members, it should be talked about specifically - no names of course, but just in general. Has someone been harmed physically or financially here? |
why are you asking that? |
Because if it did, I think the community ought to know, otherwise rumors and gossip will fill the void, otherwise it is irresponsible to allude to vague "incidents" like you mentioned. |
rumours and gossip will always happen, and we have no control over that. we will not address specific incidents publicly, now or ever. |
That sounds like a very sensible policy, but I would say that *alluding* to incidents, either real or not, can quickly turn a community into a cesspool of rumor, innuendo, and suspicion.
Yes, gossip will always happen, but that doesn't mean you should encourage it.
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21990
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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i don't see where any allusions are happening right now, and the sticky i am composing would not allude to specific incidents and no examples would be given. it's about helping people to be proactive about safety on the site.
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | i don't see where any allusions are happening right now, and the sticky i am composing would not allude to specific incidents and no examples would be given. it's about helping people to be proactive about safety on the site. |
This is what I was referring to, earlier in this thread:
| Hyperlexian wrote: | | i have had to deal with too many situations on here where people are actually victimised in one way or another (with spongy also alluded to) |
This seems to suggest multiple "situations" where people were "victimized" - maybe I misunderstood?
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