giall
Hummingbird
Joined: Mar 17, 2011
Posts: 22
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 Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:39 am Post subject: |
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| MR20 wrote: | | tronist wrote: | CONFIDENCE! thats the most important thing i think.
if you arent confident, you will repel most girls.
if you ARE confident, you will attract girls. |
Well f**k most girls then.
I won't change myself into a selfish arrogant prick just to impress women. |
Confidence and being selfish and arrogant are not the same thing. Be happy with who you are, and you're confident about yourself. Telling girls and/or acting like you're the best thing to ever exist and you're arrogant. There's quite a big gap there. |
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kx250rider
Educated Musclehead
Joined: May 16, 2010
Posts: 1955
Location: Dallas, TX and Ventura County, CA
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: Re: 21 years old and hopeless???? |
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| HellRazzer7878 wrote: | | Well I am 21 and still a virgin. I am an average looking guy, in decent shape but for some reason I am just too strange and cannot hold conversations with women. They really do not understand me. How do other Aspies cope with this, and how do you talk to women? |
I think you're exactly where I was at 21! Girls would tell my friends (behind my back sometimes), that they thought I was really hot, and they couldn't wait to get hold of me........ until I opened my mouth and said anything. Then I was instantly a freak or nerd. I still don't know why. I just accept that it's the way it was. It's nothing to do with looks, as when I was that age, I could easily have worked on stage at any male strip club, and I bought a brand-new Corvette when I was 18, and even bought my own house in an upscale part of Los Angeles when I was 19 (not bragging; just making it clear that having the looks or money doesn't mean sh*t). I used to sit in the house on Friday and Saturday nights, wondering why I was alone. I even started a routine of doing my housework on Friday night because I figured I'd never have anything else to do then. It's my awkwardness with high functioning autism that caused the problem, IMHO. I just about gave up on dating, and even wondered if I was closet Gay or something, because nothing I tried would ever work. I even got a call girl (set up by a friend) when I was 18, and nothing happened. I was a virgin 'til I was 30, and I'm only admitting that here because it's the truth, and probably very few "normal average" young men would ever admit that. I think I was too worried about getting older and still failing with the girls, and it wasn't until I stopped worrying so much about it that it finally happened. And it was a rather aggressive girl I was starting to date, and I didn't tell her I hadn't ever had any experience. If I told her that, she said later that she would have been afraid of me and not done anything. I'm now 44, and happily married, and I can be honest with you about another thing: I'm NOT sorry I failed to lose my virginity earlier. I think things happen this way sometimes for good reasons.
Our hormones at age x-teen to about 25, tell us GET LAID NOW AND OFTEN!!!! But that's only hormones talking. It's not something we need right then, and in fact, 20,000 years ago we did need to reproduce by our early teens, as we only lived 25 years or so and died of old age. Putting that into the equation helps too...
Charles |
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Thom_Fuleri
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2010
Posts: 802
Location: Leicestershire, UK
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| MR20 wrote: | | Well f**k them. This is what you so called "confident" people say to justify being selfish, arrogant, and cocky. You're nothing but assholes, trying to use and sleep with anything that isn't nailed down. |
| MR20 wrote: | | I won't change myself into a selfish arrogant prick just to impress women. |
But of course! You're obviously perfect as you are now and it's not your fault that women aren't interested in you. Anyone who succeeds with women is doing so dishonestly because it's impossible to do it honestly. It's nothing at all to do with making some effort to change or actually do something.
MR20, being a selfish, arrogant prick is called "youth", and we've all been there. But that's why women aren't interested. Learning to recognise your faults and deal with them is a big part of growing up - if you pull that off, you'll no longer be so hung up on the subject of women. And, bizarrely, that will help you land them. |
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Sirius
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 17, 2010
Posts: 63
Location: Fresno, CA
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| Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:19 pm Post subject: Re: 21 years old and hopeless???? |
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| HellRazzer7878 wrote: | | Well I am 21 and still a virgin. I am an average looking guy, in decent shape but for some reason I am just too strange and cannot hold conversations with women. They really do not understand me. How do other Aspies cope with this, and how do you talk to women? |
Well if there are any Aspie Support groups in your area, I suggest that you join them, I am 42, in decent shape and a virgin, who has never had a girlfriend, so let my life at least be a cautionary tale. |
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Adam82
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 30, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 601
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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I would not say you're hopeless, at 21. Plenty of people are just late bloomers.
I am starting to believe I am hopeless, however. Being 29 and a half years old, and never having had a girlfriend. There comes a point where it goes beyond late bloomer, and just becomes off putting and creepy to women. |
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Chooty
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 24, 2008
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:53 pm Post subject: Re: 21 years old and hopeless???? |
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| HellRazzer7878 wrote: | | Well I am 21 and still a virgin. I am an average looking guy, in decent shape but for some reason I am just too strange and cannot hold conversations with women. They really do not understand me. How do other Aspies cope with this, and how do you talk to women? |
You are not hopeless at 21, period. That's what I thought back then and then I met her...
One thing I know is that you need a lot of focus, care & effort to correctly deal with woman. You need to take it seriously, like when you have a date prepare etc. And go all out. |
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