| Rate the idea |
| Good |
|
68% |
[ 762 ] |
| Bad |
|
1% |
[ 19 ] |
| Good and bad |
|
7% |
[ 81 ] |
| I'm indifferent |
|
11% |
[ 123 ] |
| Greentea's crazy! / Greentea's king! / Let see those results |
|
11% |
[ 129 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 1114 |
|
Nim
Depersonalized Aspie
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 3510
Location: Away
|
 Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:40 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
I'm unsure if I can phrase this right. But how do NT's handle jealousy towards other siblings? I mean, my sister is jealous of my house, my car, my style of living, the amount of money I make... my free time.
Its been translating into her talking behind my back and being angry at me in person/snapping at me.
I've been off since Christmas, and she's been angry at me because I'm not running around like a chicken with its head cut off worrying about where my next paycheck is coming from. And since I handled my finances well over the time I was working (I work job to job and get laid off regularly), I'm not stressed. But I often get told I act very arrogant and scare the people I work with/they always try to burn me and/or are afraid of me. I've been told I should make up story's about girls and drinking/or partying and try to fit in with my co-workers to avoid creating enemy's.
Should this be the action I take towards my sister? Such as acting like I'm very worried about money and talk depressed? Or is there a better way of diffusing the situation. It as of yet isn't an issue but yesterday she was very angry at me for no reason/spoke to my mother afterwards about me having a better car (her dad gave her a free one), to which my mom responded "but he's paying for his car still, yours was free"...
But I don't think shes really listening... |
|
| Back to top |
|
fraac
Tufted Titmouse
![]()
Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Posts: 1865
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I think you're meant to hit her face with the back of your hand. Quite hard. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Ballrus
Butterfly
Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Posts: 15
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Nim wrote: | I'm unsure if I can phrase this right. But how do NT's handle jealousy towards other siblings? I mean, my sister is jealous of my house, my car, my style of living, the amount of money I make... my free time.
Its been translating into her talking behind my back and being angry at me in person/snapping at me.
I've been off since Christmas, and she's been angry at me because I'm not running around like a chicken with its head cut off worrying about where my next paycheck is coming from. And since I handled my finances well over the time I was working (I work job to job and get laid off regularly), I'm not stressed. But I often get told I act very arrogant and scare the people I work with/they always try to burn me and/or are afraid of me. I've been told I should make up story's about girls and drinking/or partying and try to fit in with my co-workers to avoid creating enemy's.
Should this be the action I take towards my sister? Such as acting like I'm very worried about money and talk depressed? Or is there a better way of diffusing the situation. It as of yet isn't an issue but yesterday she was very angry at me for no reason/spoke to my mother afterwards about me having a better car (her dad gave her a free one), to which my mom responded "but he's paying for his car still, yours was free"...
But I don't think shes really listening... |
Well I dont have any siblings, so im not sure exactly how those interactions fully go about, but honestly your best option would probably be just to get a few minutes to talk to her, and try and explain where your at and that theres no need to worry or be jealous of what you have or might not have. Fraacs idea is pretty good too, lol. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830
|
| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
For any NTs (or aspies) still around:
What does an NT want out of a friendship. A couple of NTs have over the course of many interactions indicated that this is the beginning of a freindship with me, what do I need to do to make this work?
My only other friends are interest based in that we meet together to do something specific in a club/group setting, I would like more friends and we have got along well enough but now the common activity with these two NTs (they are seperate (dont have anything to do with eachother) - two groups of two not one group of three) is finished but they have indicated they still would like to 'catch up', meet up, do stuff etc with me. I dont really know what is involved to make a friendship that is not based on a shared activity work and would appreciate any advice/explanations. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Nim
Depersonalized Aspie
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 3510
Location: Away
|
| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Cogs wrote: | For any NTs (or aspies) still around:
What does an NT want out of a friendship. A couple of NTs have over the course of many interactions indicated that this is the beginning of a freindship with me, what do I need to do to make this work?
My only other friends are interest based in that we meet together to do something specific in a club/group setting, I would like more friends and we have got along well enough but now the common activity with these two NTs (they are seperate (dont have anything to do with eachother) - two groups of two not one group of three) is finished but they have indicated they still would like to 'catch up', meet up, do stuff etc with me. I dont really know what is involved to make a friendship that is not based on a shared activity work and would appreciate any advice/explanations. |
You read my mind. I have a friend (he's like 55), which has been my boss on many occasions at work. Now that we're out of work he wants to hang out - which seems to be just what he wants. Whether it be going to the dump, or having steaks, or from what he's telling me now - to take me "shooting" since I've never fired a gun. But over the course of the years I guess I've become like a son to him - which is how he treats me now. But with people my own age I've always noticed they have no stability. They call asking for favors like money or to move in with you.... irrational, unappealing. I'd be curious what it means to have a buddy... But I've never been that successful with people my own age. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Ballrus
Butterfly
Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Posts: 15
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Honestly, friends are not something normally looked for. Most of the time, basically all of my friends right now all share common interests with me which is why they are my friends. Staying friends is basically just as easy as talking somewhat regularly hanging out occasionally, it may be a bit different because im in college and see them almost every day but, the hanging out i referred to is out of school kind of hanging out. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Daj
Butterfly
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 13
Location: Midwest
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
[quote="Saturn"] | TruthTree wrote: | Question for Aspies please.
How can I tell the difference between:
a) When an AS person overloaded and needs to be left alone
b) When the AS person won't speak to me because he is angry with me?
Also, if the AS person is angry with me should I try to leave them alone or should I try to talk to him about it? |
When an AS person is overloaded, I think there will be signs of anxiety like ticks, playing with hands or fingers, etc. And the person will talk to you but will seem dismissive.
When an AS person is angry, like REALLY angry, they will do their best to not talk at all. This is how I am at least. I just got fired from a job because of this I think. I was Really mad at the new manager, and I told him the necessary information politely, but he kept trying to talk to me and he took my silence as an insult I believe. When I get mad like that though its hard to talk and move. I may shake even. But if I do talk it will be horrible for the receiver.
If an AS person is angry definitely leave them alone. |
|
| Back to top |
|
kojot
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 95
|
| Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Daj wrote: | | Saturn wrote: | | TruthTree wrote: | Question for Aspies please.
How can I tell the difference between:
a) When an AS person overloaded and needs to be left alone
b) When the AS person won't speak to me because he is angry with me?
Also, if the AS person is angry with me should I try to leave them alone or should I try to talk to him about it? |
|
When an AS person is overloaded, I think there will be signs of anxiety like ticks, playing with hands or fingers, etc. And the person will talk to you but will seem dismissive.
When an AS person is angry, like REALLY angry, they will do their best to not talk at all. This is how I am at least. I just got fired from a job because of this I think. I was Really mad at the new manager, and I told him the necessary information politely, but he kept trying to talk to me and he took my silence as an insult I believe. When I get mad like that though its hard to talk and move. I may shake even. But if I do talk it will be horrible for the receiver.
If an AS person is angry definitely leave them alone. |
Yes, I do that too. I try very hard to keep my mouth shut when I'm really really angry, because I know I might loose control. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dreamslost
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Age: 60
Posts: 89
Location: Westminster, CO
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:33 pm Post subject: Good Converstion about this is greatest of Treasures |
|
|
I have posted elsewhere some of my life but its very special just to find others to talk to, share with, talk about falacies of questions an as a group, come up with ways to make it easier to identify in any age so others do not need to go through or experience our bad, and though its more quickly found young now... many of us older have been trying to find out what is wrong with ourselves for a very long time whom got missed by being in the middle and getting by somewhat but still frustrated in lack of finding answers. I began looking my second year of college and frustrations led to complete drop out without finding an answer or someone who could see what i sought. To some extent when i cant find ways to verbalize aloud, i can with words because of all things combined. This forum i hope can help me and perhaps as a group helping many others.
_________________
The Truth is out there, it just may not be what you want or expect |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dreamslost
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Age: 60
Posts: 89
Location: Westminster, CO
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:39 pm Post subject: Overload reaction other |
|
|
When i become overloaded too often do not have outlet of just talking. Its very hard to find conversations at all when you desparately need to loose the steam. Just trying to find anyone to talk to has been literally impossible for me to find in my area so overload ends with crying alone, and not wanting alone but emotional distress totally blocks logical thinking for me. I hae noticed when i cant find that outlet is when i post online the most. Very often in evening. Add in getting MS diagnosis has put me into rather emotional mess.
_________________
The Truth is out there, it just may not be what you want or expect |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dreamslost
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Age: 60
Posts: 89
Location: Westminster, CO
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:55 pm Post subject: Anger response |
|
|
I am like others in some ways, get shaking mad with a very sharp tongue that others mistake as opposit mad, but mostly the anger is a frustration with something so with anger i want understanding of why i am angry which i seldom find so I do my best to avoid situations that can cause that anger, but not avoid confrontations just try to avoid what causes the anger by trying to analyze myself but most of it is frustrations with no one wanting to listen
_________________
The Truth is out there, it just may not be what you want or expect |
|
| Back to top |
|
J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When I was young & angry, the episode often ended in violence towards any bedroom wall. You can still see the areas where I went right through the timber framework, luckily the last violent attack was back in '04 when I watched the results of the HEA '04 bill - more commonly known as Labour's Tuition Fee bill.
When I overload, I turn mute and usually the guilt or anxiety (Or sometimes both) either pushes to me drink more or leave the scene completely which usually prompts a shutdown instantly (Like in the taxi I'm hitting shutdown 'what if' mode).
I have a question, to all groups really, which generally isn't Aspie like in nature but my aspieness charactistics prompt: how did you break out of your doubts and speak the truth? It seems this week, I've been taking steps to improve, well, 'me' and it seems as if I'm ready to tell the important people some of the stuff I've wanted to say, but couldn't. I don't want to mess it up, and large parts of me want to go and talk, but it's that unknown reaction I can't quite judge for. Is there any tips for breaking past this barrier? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Mockingbird147
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 15, 2012
Posts: 9
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| MONKEY wrote: | Oooh this looks fun.
A question to NTs:
do you notice even the mildest of aspies, do they seem not right to you even if they're really subtle??? |
I'm fairly NT, so I'll try to answer it 
My boyfriend is a very mild aspie, and he didn't tell me he had Aspergers until 3-4 months into the relationship. Even though I have family members with it, so I should have noticed it, I didn't know. I just thought he was a shy, albeit awkward kid. I would have considered him pretty subtle, so my non-definitive answer is yes, but no. I don't automatically think of Aspergers, but something does seem off. But its not bad, if that's what you're wondering. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Mockingbird147
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 15, 2012
Posts: 9
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Gerhardt wrote: | This is a question for NT's, generally young women NT's but anyone can answer:
What would the best way for an Aspie to tell you that he has Aspergers? A lot of times I meet NT women that are nice and all but they misinterpret my cold gaze and lack of social congruency as stand offish and insecure, and thus refuse to date me. I feel if they know I have aspergers they'll be more prone to understanding how I work and seeing my true colors. I've told some women that I have Aspergers directly but it ends up making things even more awkward. |
I recommend telling. After my boyfriend did, and explained, it helped me understand a lot better, and helped me to not get as frustrated when he was at his worst. But the best is to see if they accept you as yourself, no matter how you seem (stand offish and insecure). You could try telling them that you have problems with women, or you're just awkward, without specifying you have Aspergers. How do you mean it just becomes more awkward after? Otherwise, my best advice is you haven't found a woman who doesn't care. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Suspie
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 07, 2012
Posts: 429
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Abbadackerygirl wrote: | I know I am an aspie, but I have a burning question for other aspies:
Do you find yourself correcting everyone? Even strangers? The worst one I have done was jump out of a car to correct the English of a beggar's cardboard sign! Lol!
In other words, is this an aspie trait, or is it just a terrible quirk of mine? |
Personally I do it all the time, as soon as I read a menu for example, I start commenting re: the typos, I have told waiters, bartenders, restaurant owners... I have offered to proof read their menu for free, I have corrected mistakes in italian dish names in italian restaurants, french dish names in french restaurants and so on. I thought that was very funny that you corrected the beggar's cardboard sign lmao
I posted this on my FB last week:
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
