Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
|
 Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:21 pm Post subject: Can't realte to what other people are saying |
 |
|
Whenever groups of people approach me and greet me, they start asking me questions. I respond, and sometimes add my own remarks. Then, while still surrounding me, they start having a conversation, at which point, I usually can't relate to what they're saying at all. It's like they're from another planet - they say irrelevant and obvious stuff which I don't respond to, and don't add any opinions or remarks as I don't find what is being talked about interesting at all, and have no interest in adding opinions or remarks on completely irrelevant maters.
Then, they start asking me why I'm not talking and often assume I'm shy. I usually stay like that for about 5-15 mins, after which I try to get away from the group as soon as possible in a discreet manner.
Can anybody else relate? |
|
| Back to top |
|
NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I can totally relate to that! When people start talking about their kids and their families and that sort of thing (I'm not married, don't have kids, etc.), it's like I become part of the furniture. People ask me if I am okay because I am so quiet. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| NTAndrew wrote: | | I can totally relate to that! When people start talking about their kids and their families and that sort of thing (I'm not married, don't have kids, etc.), it's like I become part of the furniture. People ask me if I am okay because I am so quiet. |
But can you relate to never being able to relate to the conversations in groups? |
|
| Back to top |
|
bumble
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 27, 2011
Posts: 1390
Location: Norfolk, UK
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I get likened to one of those nodding things that people have in their car because I don't really have any comments during such conversations and have adopted the habit of just smiling and nodding a lot instead.
Other things I have had said to me in regards to socialising:
You don't talk much
You are a bit elusive
You are eccentric
I like you because you are different
You are a walking host of contradictions
You are too independent
You are weird
Do you have Asperger's?
You are not quite all there
You are a sandwich short of a picnic
You are in a world of your own
The lights are on, but no one is home
You were away with the pixies again
Ignorant you are
You are stuck up
And on actually finding something to say or talk about:
You talk too posh (dropped my natural accent and pattern of speech to make it more err...regional, so don't get that one much any more).
Where do you get all the big words from (see above)
You are too verbose
Excuse me, If you don't mind me interrupting your monologue...
Can you change the subject please
Stop going around the mulberry bush and get to the point please
Can you shut up, we are not interested.
So in conclusion:
If you don't talk much...it's wrong
If you do talk...that's also wrong
Best to avoid socialising in the first place!
_________________
For cross stitching, tapestry, other arts and crafts and the upcoming shark kingdom when I get around to it, visit: www.bumbleshobbyhome.blogspot.com
Last edited by bumble on Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:46 pm; edited 4 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
bumble
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 27, 2011
Posts: 1390
Location: Norfolk, UK
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Transhuman wrote: | | NTAndrew wrote: | | I can totally relate to that! When people start talking about their kids and their families and that sort of thing (I'm not married, don't have kids, etc.), it's like I become part of the furniture. People ask me if I am okay because I am so quiet. |
But can you relate to never being able to relate to the conversations in groups? |
I can't relate much of the time. But I can relate to what you are saying at the moment.
_________________
For cross stitching, tapestry, other arts and crafts and the upcoming shark kingdom when I get around to it, visit: www.bumbleshobbyhome.blogspot.com |
|
| Back to top |
|
questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:03 pm Post subject: Not relating to conversations |
|
|
Yes, if I can't relate to a conversation, then I am not interested in joining in. That's not weird to me,--it sounds perfectly normal. It's just the other people don't like it if you are not interested in every thing they want to talk about.
Add spectrum input processing problems to the relating problem, and it gets a lot worse. And if you tell people the truth about your breaking away from the conversation--that you are not interested in the new topic, they will get offended.--"What! You find us boring or just not interesting?!" I suggest you find an excuse to break away such as--got a run, or I have to see someone about such and such, or I have to go home. If at a place instead of outside, just say you want to go over and talk to so and so now, or you want to get a drink/food/use the john, etc. Just don't tell them you are not interested in their conversation. It is probably best to do that as soon as you have lost interest in the conversation, rather than stay there being quiet, and looking stupid.
Hope this helps. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Niniel
Raven
Joined: Nov 10, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 118
Location: New Zealand
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yes! I never know what to say when I am in a big group. I try to follow the conversation, and atleast look interested, but I usually end up dissapearing into my own head. |
|
| Back to top |
|
hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3566
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I've had people think I was mute because I was quiet and once someone said I was "acting all schizophrenic" because I was quiet. |
|
| Back to top |
|
NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 3:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I am almost never able to feel really connected in a big group conversation. I don't have a lot in common with most people. At a party I look around and everyone is paired up and I am not. When I am able to join in, it is an act. People think I'm engaging, I guess the way people think a parrot is smart for being able to mimic human speech. It's a trick, like pulling coins out of children's ears or correcting guessing a playing card someone else is holding. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
