Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
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 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:23 am Post subject: How does eye contact make you feel? |
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| As the title says, how does eye contact make you feel? |
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Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:31 am Post subject: |
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It depends on the eye contact, who is giving it, how they are giving it, etc. For the most part I avoid it - it feels uncomfortable.
However in other situations I've been OK with it, like when using eye contact with bandmates to communicate certain things while we are playing. |
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Mithos
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 685
Location: Ponyville, Equestria.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:39 am Post subject: |
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When someone is distressed, angry, upset, annoyed, in deep thought. I avoid it. xD
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btbnnyr
Rabbit In Cat's Clothing
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 3244
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:43 am Post subject: |
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| I don't know. It doesn't make me feel that uncomfortable, but I find myself automatically avoiding it. It's not really my choice, my brain forgets to make eye contact or avoids it without me deciding to avoid it. |
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Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:54 am Post subject: |
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| btbnnyr wrote: | | I find myself automatically avoiding it. It's not really my choice, my brain forgets to make eye contact or avoids it without me deciding to avoid it. |
I have this going on, as well. When I do make eye contact, I often forget I'm needing to make it and start looking elsewhere. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| Uncomfortable, I tend to break eye contact at times but sometimes I can hold it, it is difficult however. I tend to frequent eye contact and stare a different areas of the face I'm interacting with so my gaze isn't intensified or I don't become uncomfortable and break eye contact completely. |
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modelmaker
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 442
Location: Birmingham , UK
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:53 am Post subject: |
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I rarely make eye contact in conversation, especially with strangers or people I regard as having authority over me like a supervisor at a place of work.
I find that a downside of not making eye contact in conversation is that the other person see's this as ignorant, or I'm not paying attention to whats been said, or I'm not being truthfull about something, when in fact I am , its just my self confidence or nervousness that I cannot sustain eye contact for more than a few seconds.
To the latter issue, I find it incredably difficult to tell a lie about something, anything, even a white lie, but I think thats more down to my moral compass.
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:59 am Post subject: |
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| modelmaker wrote: |
I find that a downside of not making eye contact in conversation is that the other person see's this as ignorant, or I'm not paying attention to whats been said, or I'm not being truthfull about something, when in fact I am , its just my self confidence or nervousness that I cannot sustain eye contact for more than a few seconds. |
I agree, if you shift eye contact as well, people might assume that you are an untrustworthy, edgy or shifty character, they might suspect something negative of you which doesn't really help, especially when it comes to first impressions. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8425
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:07 am Post subject: |
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It makes me feel included in the conversation.
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Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 136
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:36 am Post subject: |
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I should add my own feedback as well.
In 60% of the situations, I make very excessive eye contact during the first seconds, then, with every glance, I notice myself making less and less eye contact, to the point that I can't get myself to make it at all (after about 20 seconds of the conversations, I can't make it at all). It isn't really an uncomfortable feeling, but rather my brain forcing me not to look.
In 40% of the situations, I make eye contact without breaking it. I look with no breaks at all, to the point that the other person starts looking a little bit on a side as it makes them uncomfortable.
The 40% is usually when I 'block out' the external world to the point of blocking at least 80% of the sensory input, to the point of not fully (or not at all) conceptualizing the person.
Whether the person is a stranger or not, in authority or not, makes no difference at all. Sometimes I make very excessive eye contact with strangers, sometimes I can't make eye contact with the people I know. |
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mindmapper
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 86
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:44 am Post subject: |
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Prolonged eye contact with strangers makes me feel uncomfortable. I often try to make some eye contact, but that's very brief, and its only purpose is to let the other person know that I'm paying attention.
I usually make more eye contact with people I know or like. However, if the conversation with those people is serious or unpleasant, I start avoiding eye contact completely. |
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arko5
Raven
Joined: Jul 19, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 107
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:55 am Post subject: |
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The closest I can describe it is like trying to force the same poles of two magnets together. I can kind of make eye contact but it feels deeply unpleasant, and there's a very strong urge to look away, I guess just because that alleviates the feeling. I'd love to find an analogous experience so I could explain the feeling to NTs, it's probably the trait that most often causes misunderstandings (i.e. they think you're not paying attention or not interested etc). Thankfully for whatever reason I don't seem to have the problem in more formal situations, like interviews or public speaking. Not sure why but I'm not complaining.
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the_beautiful_mess
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 15, 2012
Posts: 149
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:34 am Post subject: |
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Making eye contact is something I find hard and that panics me.
If I am not looking at someone it doesn’t mean I’m not listening. Most of the time I am, and people who know me notice and understand if I’m not. If I’m not listening, it’s only because my mind has been diverted by my short attention span, which is just another of my Aspie things.
I just find it very hard to make eye contact whilst really listening to what is being said. If I am forced to make eye contact then I don't understand why and I get panicked. So I'm not being rude if I seem to be staring at my rather wonderful shoes or the table instead of into your gorgeous eyes.
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Nim
Depersonalized Aspie
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 3510
Location: Away
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:52 am Post subject: |
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| I'm unsure how it makes me feel, I do it maybe once every month on purpose. I usually go into a bit of fight or flight mode I suppose, and look away. No one ever mentions my lack of eye contact so I suppose its not a big deal to anyone. But its surprising that when people talk to you, they are actually looking at you... concepts sort of wacky honestly. |
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Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:57 am Post subject: |
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| If sex is on the menu.. otherwise it's irrelevant and denied. |
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