 
Support Wrong Planet Awareness!
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
nocturnalowl
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: The Bathrooms, California
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:57 am Post subject: Middle-child aspies |
 |
|
I am a middle-child aspie myself. And as some of you probably know, it sucks to be a middle child. Not all the time, but it isn't always the best.
Do any middle-child aspies here get upset about...
1. Being known as 'whosits'?
2. Getting lack of attention from family friends, acquaintances and relatives?
3. Being ignored because of the fact that...
a. The older one is acheiving something first that gets the family attention? Many times the oldest is the first to graduate, drive, join a club, sport, etc.
b. The youngest needs attention as is probably more rebellious then you and your oldest sibling?
4. People don't remeber your accomplishments and acheivments as much as they know your eldest and youngest siblings?
5. Getting less gifts, money, and kudos as a child?
6. Getting yelled at the most and told to cut it out?
For some reason we probably end up as the smarter ones and the more anti-social ones anyway. If the middle-child is ignored, they probably do something on their own and of course become the smart one...
....But then that is what I tend to be only known as a lot of times, the "smart one".
Since I am the middle one in a Boy-Boy-Girl order, I wonder if it worse for middle children who are in a BBG or GGB order, or even BGG and GBB order?
BBB, GGG, BGB, GBG. I wonder if Middle children are treated differently depending on the order status of birth.
Let's say the oldest is, in my case, a boy. Automatically as the eldest, he's the one the family relatives will look upon no doubt about it and of course, the possible leader of the family if anything happens in the future with the parents.
Then comes you, or me, at first labelled as the baby, the wild one and of course the youngster. Things are going well until..
The next child is born. You are now labeled the middle and the new baby is now the rebel, the baby, and the cutey one. But because the youngest is a girl, the relatives see a future matriarch, the eldest girl and a new backbone in the family.
So now you are labeled the "the other boy" in the family. So what happens next?
Must wait and see.
So who else is a middle child? Go ahead and put your sibling birth older with your position in bold.
For example, mine: BBG
Do any of you feel any wrath of "Middle-child syndrome?" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 2913
Location: Uz
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It's the gender order, not the birth order. I am the youngest in a GBG family, so since they already had a girl, I was superfluous, plus it means you have to share a room with the girl they already have, so she resents that. The middle child in our family was the only boy and so got his own room, and all the 'only boy' stuff. |
|
| Back to top |
|
PierceMarkT
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 08, 2005
Posts: 24
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:24 am Post subject: Haven't been there. Haven't done that. |
|
|
| I am the youngest and I can personally say that it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I had the " why can't you be like your sister..." blues. Or the your brother messed up his.... just like you will..." blues. Blondes want to be brunettes. Whereas brunettes want to be blondes. Be content is the only advice I can give although it is a bitter pill to swallow. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Fiddler
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 17, 2004
Posts: 338
Location: Reims, France
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
How does this theory work when you are a twin?
The first child in our family is my brother.
Then comes my sister.
And finally: my twin and I. I was born 10 minutes before her. |
|
| Back to top |
|
danlo
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 12, 2005
Posts: 1069
Location: Western Australia
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'm the middle child, also. GBGBBBB : 28,25,23,21,19,17,17.
All my siblings always thought I was being favored, and often had it out for me. As my mother explained it to me once, it was because I needed special clothing and didn't always have to endure hand-me-downs; and that my quirks were tolerated while my siblings' weren't.
The trouble this caused was often blamed on myself, and my mother started me seeing a psychologist. I played with the psych and got her to convince my mother to pay me to be good ($2 a fortnight), which wasn't hard since it never was my fault anyway. And this caused more jealousy, since noone got any pocket money, except me.
Ah well, they all have seemed to have grown out of their jealousy. It all vanished quite suddenly, all antagonistic behavior towards me, when my mother took them to see an Autism specialist psychologist from the Intitute just last year. I declined to be there with them, but I wonder what was said. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Therblig
Blue Jay
Joined: Dec 19, 2004
Posts: 98
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm the youngest, but that's irrelevant for what I'm about to speak about.
One of the families related to me has 8 kids in the following order: BGBGGBBB (18, 18, 16, 15, 15, 10, 10, 3)
The twin girls in the middle are whom I will base my theory on.
My mother was also the older one of the two middle in her family of six kids. Based on her family as well as some of my cousins, I have come to the conclusion that when you have two kids who are in the middle one of them assumes the role as the typical middle child. Smarter, more withdrawn, and at times more artistic. This would be the one plagued with Middle-Child Syndrome. The other is typically the most outgoing person in the family. In the cousins mentioned above, the older twin (older by six minutes) is the biggest extrovert in the family and the younger twin is the most reserved. Also, in my mother's family she was the black sheep and then her slightly younger sister was the outgoing and wild one.
I don't know if this is true all around, but in all the families I've seen with two middles it sure is. |
|
| Back to top |
|
NoMore
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 29, 2004
Posts: 919
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm the oldest of three: GGB.
My Aspie dad was the oldest of two: BB.
My Aspie son is #4 of 5: GBGBB (22, 19, 14, 11, 7). I also think our oldest has some Aspie characteristics, but she adamantly insists she's NT.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
nocturnalowl
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: The Bathrooms, California
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I am 19 months younger and 19 months older in my family, that's a crazy coincidence.
Both of my parents were the oldest in their families, but in treated in different ways. My dad (BBBBGGGGBB) pretty much had to take care of the family most of the time without a choice while my mom (GBGG) was the one they one the relatives eyed on and too took care of the family when needed. I think she was the oldest granddaughter on my grandma's side. And in my words, being the oldest grandchild gives you even more props to make the middle-child even more withdrawn.
My maternal grandma was the middle girl in her family (GGGBGBBBG)but yet was made to be the caretaker and supporter some of the time. |
|
| Back to top |
|
nocturnalowl
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: The Bathrooms, California
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Cindy wrote: |
My Aspie son is #4 of 5: GBGBB (22, 19, 14, 11, 7). I also think our oldest has some Aspie characteristics, but she adamantly insists she's NT. |
I think my pop has aspie traits also; he tends to be to himself at times easily, can filter out conversations around him and we have to probably, lol, use a bullhorn to get his attention. At least he admits to maybe having these traits or even having AS at all. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sarcastic_Name
Don't look.
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 3582
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm the oldest on my Mom's side of the family. My only brother *sigh of relief* , is 10 and a handful. Being oldest means you're the first to get all the lectures from family (extended and immediate). It's like I'm a test run. Ug... my grandparents lecture like theres no tommorrow. My grandmother lectures every time she calls. My little brother has yet to experience any lectures.
_________________
(Currently undergoing personality reboot) |
|
| Back to top |
|
nocturnalowl
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: The Bathrooms, California
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Sarcastic_Name wrote: | | I'm the oldest on my Mom's side of the family. My only brother *sigh of relief* , is 10 and a handful. Being oldest means you're the first to get all the lectures from family (extended and immediate). It's like I'm a test run. Ug... my grandparents lecture like theres no tommorrow. My grandmother lectures every time she calls. My little brother has yet to experience any lectures. |
I'm number 2 on my Mom's side and lucky number 3 on my Dad's side while my brother is #1 on both sides. And my sister is the oldest granddaughter on both sides. It does help when both your parents are the oldest in their families but it doesn't mean anything.
When we visit extended family, I am usually to myself pacing around while both my siblings get the most attention. I do get attention though, not as much as they do and not from as many people.
At least I can say that I am not alienated at all. I just don't like to connect as much. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Scoots5012
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 02, 2004
Age: 29
Posts: 2250
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
I was never a middle child.
I have a step brother whom I've never met from my mom's previous marriage who was born in 1966. When my mom got divorced from her first marriage, he went to live with his grandparents. From what I understand he went into the military and now drives semis for a living.
I was born in 1979, and I was more a less a suprise. My parents were never able to give another sibling, so I was spared the sibling rivalry, but had I had a sibling who was NT, my problems I had as a kid might have stood out in bold relief compared to those of my phantom NT sibling and I might not have had to wait as long as I had to discover the truth about myself.
_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I couldn't make it in life... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
