StevieC
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 31, 2009
Posts: 623
Location: Cupboard under the Stairs
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 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:46 pm Post subject: saying something but no-one responds |
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if im in a group of people, and i say something to which nobody responds, does that mean they havent heard me (i do have a very low voice volume and frequency wise) or they dont care?
is there a rule to gauge how in certain situations?
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Sparx
Thingamajig
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 2185
Location: N. Sanity Island
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| This happens to me all the time. Most of the time I just speak too quietly, I guess. |
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Ashuahhe
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 30, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 692
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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| They're focused on something else, someone louder and stupider.... |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9732
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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Lots including my parents don't respond when I talk but then get annoyed when I repeat myself. Other times people really don't hear me & sometimes get upset with me because they didn't hear me tell them something. I try talking louder to be sure I'm heard but people think I'm talking too loud. I sure as hell haven't figured out those rules if they are any. I find it better to stay quiet & avoid people
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18116
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:46 am Post subject: |
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| most people can only be bothered to trod a familiar path, so when somebody says something that is novel or unfamiliar, most people will either tune it out, or misconstrue it somehow. speakers should consider the audience, and the audience should consider the source. |
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Dent
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 19, 2011
Posts: 161
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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As far as I know, if they glance at you briefly before ignoring you, it's intentional. They heard what you said but they don't think it particularly relevant or interesting.
If no one even looks your way, they just didn't hear.
Remember to talk TO someone in particular, rather than AT a group of people. If you talk in their general direction, people don't seem to notice. If you talk TO someone, they have to respond. |
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ruckus
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 17, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 398
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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Happens to me sometimes. It's extra annoying because when it happens the person closest to me will often repeat what I said (usually a joke) and everybody will laugh but they never mention that it came from me. It doesn't seem to be a volume thing because several of these people have also told me I have a lovely speaking voice (an odd compliment, but whatever). I guess they're too busy listening to my voice to hear what I'm actually saying?  |
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andriana
Butterfly
Joined: Feb 27, 2012
Posts: 13
Location: United Kingdom
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:10 am Post subject: |
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This happens to me all the time. I end up feeling comfused and like people are pretending I'm not there. The worst times are when I'm at university and it's a group discussion. It is really hard for me to speak up in front of lots of people but sometimes I manage it and then people don't acknowledge that I've spoken. This includes the lecturers and sometimes I know they've heard me and I know that what I'm saying is right and fits in with what the topic is but they still don't acknowledge it and then I go red and panic and I feel like everyone is looking at me which is silly because they don't pay attention to me the rest of the time.
I think that if people don't acknowlege what you've said and you want them to then repeating yourself is acceptable because it isn't right for you to have to be left out at the times when you don't want to be. It's hard enough being in conversations without having the added difficulty of people not listening or hearing. I don't know why people can't just say 'I heard you but I'm not interested' or just say what ever is the reason that they don't respond. I'm not a conversational expert but I'm fairly certain that even if it isn't a direct question that is asked during a conversation that the other person is still meant to respond!
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identity
Disconnected
Joined: Mar 21, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 7518
Location: South West UK
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:39 am Post subject: |
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| Used to happen to me a lot when I was at college and still seems to now. I don't know what the solution is though Thinking back to the college situation I wonder if one reason for them not responding is if someone seems like quite a shy or fragile (sorry can't think of a better word) person others may be a bit afraid of engaging you in any debate, or "taking you on" as it were? I'm not sure just thinking aloud... |
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YippySkippy
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 27, 2011
Posts: 1516
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:55 am Post subject: |
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| I generally assume it's because I've said something so weird that they're speechless. |
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BMctav
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:57 am Post subject: |
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This has happend to me many times. I've also seen it happen to others plenty of times, too.
Sometimes it can be tricky to interject a comment at the right time as it can get lost in the momentum of the conversation or somebody might unintentionally (or possibly intentionally) speak over you. When I've observered someone's comment being overlooked, it can be tricky to let that person know that I've heard/acknowledged their comments without in turn speaking over the other people in the conversation. I suppose conversations are just like traffic. Sometimes it's nice and orderly, other times you get stuck in a jam.
Ideally it would be nice to be heard and understood everytime we spoke, but it's not really possible for anyone, AS or NT. |
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anneurysm
Who needs birds when you have Lena Dunham.
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1881
Location: Barrie & Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Dent wrote: | As far as I know, if they glance at you briefly before ignoring you, it's intentional. They heard what you said but they don't think it particularly relevant or interesting.
If no one even looks your way, they just didn't hear.
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This. It also takes a bit of trial and error before you learn what will gauge people's interests.
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