The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9301
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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 Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:26 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Most guys envision casual sex at first whether they're asking out or being asked out, then when they get attached to the girl they start thinking about in a more serious way. |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:40 am Post subject: |
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| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Quote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Most guys envision casual sex at first whether they're asking out or being asked out, then when they get attached to the girl they start thinking about in a more serious way. |
But when asking her out, they realize it's probably not going to happen. When a woman approaches a guy he thinks there's a chance it could. In fact he might think that's her only intention. |
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Jono
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 11, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 2892
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:17 am Post subject: Re: Why don't more women make the first move? |
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| Chronos wrote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Hang on. Many women look for casual sex too and having a one night stand doesn't automatically make it rape, even if you regret it afterwards.
In any case, if you are going to start making advances on strange men, then how is that any less dangerous than accepting the advances of strange men who make a move on you? I mean, if most guys guys go up to a strange women in a bar and say "hey baby", they won't usually get a positive response. When we talk about women making the first move, this is not actually what we're suggesting you do any more than men making the first move is about men picking up strange women in bars. I think you would at least have to know the person on some level first. |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9301
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| Chronos wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Quote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Most guys envision casual sex at first whether they're asking out or being asked out, then when they get attached to the girl they start thinking about in a more serious way. |
But when asking her out, they realize it's probably not going to happen. When a woman approaches a guy he thinks there's a chance it could. In fact he might think that's her only intention. |
That goes both ways, like jono said.
Excuses ..... just admit the upper hand thing  . |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:14 am Post subject: Re: Why don't more women make the first move? |
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| Jono wrote: | | Chronos wrote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Hang on. Many women look for casual sex too and having a one night stand doesn't automatically make it rape, even if you regret it afterwards. |
No where did I imply that having a one night stand was rape.
Some women do look for casual sex, however it is generally much lower on a woman's list wishes and priorities than men.
| Jono wrote: |
In any case, if you are going to start making advances on strange men, then how is that any less dangerous than accepting the advances of strange men who make a move on you? |
A man who approaches a woman generally has different expectations than a man who is approached, and so his perception as to her intentions might very well be different. Remember, just 20 years ago many men were of the opinion that if a woman dressed or acted in a certain way, she was "Asking for it" or clearly wanted sex even if she said no and physically resisted. This perception was held to the extent amongst society that there were public service campaigns to address the issue.
| Jono wrote: |
I mean, if most guys guys go up to a strange women in a bar and say "hey baby", they won't usually get a positive response. When we talk about women making the first move, this is not actually what we're suggesting you do any more than men making the first move is about men picking up strange women in bars. I think you would at least have to know the person on some level first. |
I wasn't speaking of picking up people in bars. I was speaking of approaching people in more general situations. |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:14 am Post subject: |
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| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Chronos wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Quote: | | Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. |
Most guys envision casual sex at first whether they're asking out or being asked out, then when they get attached to the girl they start thinking about in a more serious way. |
But when asking her out, they realize it's probably not going to happen. When a woman approaches a guy he thinks there's a chance it could. In fact he might think that's her only intention. |
That goes both ways, like jono said.
Excuses ..... just admit the upper hand thing . |
See my reply to Jono. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12482
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:26 am Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | MXH wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | So they can keep the upper hand in the dating game.
They don't need to do it. |
This, its the sad reality. Plus i bet it feels much nicer to have people come to you than to be at the mercy of someone. |
/Thread
It's crystal clear, I don't get why this thread is being discussed any further. |
So would you be more comffie with a nasty boo woman at her knees? Not like a hot one by oh someone you'd prefer? |
Just in the same manner as women reject someone they dont like men would be able to reject someone they dont like. But no, that would mean being equal. So it will never happen |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9301
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:37 am Post subject: |
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| ^^ I am still trying to figure what MissC meant by the second part of the question. |
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myth
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 707
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:08 am Post subject: |
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I personally find it pointless to quibble about the various assumptions and mentaltities that result from the much larger assumption that men should ask out women. If that line hadn't already been drawn, there would be no reason to assume a woman is desperate for asking a man out and etc.
_________________
Non-NT something. Married to a diagnosed aspie.
Nothing is absolute. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12482
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:16 am Post subject: |
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| myth wrote: | | I personally find it pointless to quibble about the various assumptions and mentaltities that result from the much larger assumption that men should ask out women. If that line hadn't already been drawn, there would be no reason to assume a woman is desperate for asking a man out and etc. |
That line was drawn at a time when men and women were not equal socially. Now that we are equal on paper people following these old customs are holding back the true equality. I dont blame them for not wanting to give up the upper hand but if you cry for equality you have to remember you have to give as much as you take. |
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myth
Phoenix
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Age: 27
Posts: 707
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:20 am Post subject: |
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^ I completely agree with that. Any woman who claims she wants equality but still expects men to ask her out and pay for dates doesn't really want equality. She wants favortism. Equal rights with extra perks.
Upperhands and power games is not something I've ever really comprehended. I guess I can see why they wouldn't want to give it up. But it still makes them jerks, imo.
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Non-NT something. Married to a diagnosed aspie.
Nothing is absolute. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:48 am Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: |
That line was drawn at a time when men and women were not equal socially. Now that we are equal on paper people following these old customs are holding back the true equality. I dont blame them for not wanting to give up the upper hand but if you cry for equality you have to remember you have to give as much as you take. |
The headache is social customs and attitudes move considerably more slowly than law. When one looks at the tides of history and realize that things have been this way for maybe 60 or 70 years at best, it puts in perspective just how new all of this is and why we're still dealing with a lot of paleo-social flotsam. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12482
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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| techstepgenr8tion wrote: | | MXH wrote: |
That line was drawn at a time when men and women were not equal socially. Now that we are equal on paper people following these old customs are holding back the true equality. I dont blame them for not wanting to give up the upper hand but if you cry for equality you have to remember you have to give as much as you take. |
The headache is social customs and attitudes move considerably more slowly than law. When one looks at the tides of history and realize that things have been this way for maybe 60 or 70 years at best, it puts in perspective just how new all of this is and why we're still dealing with a lot of paleo-social flotsam. |
They move at that pace because its how people want them to move. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | techstepgenr8tion wrote: | | MXH wrote: |
That line was drawn at a time when men and women were not equal socially. Now that we are equal on paper people following these old customs are holding back the true equality. I dont blame them for not wanting to give up the upper hand but if you cry for equality you have to remember you have to give as much as you take. |
The headache is social customs and attitudes move considerably more slowly than law. When one looks at the tides of history and realize that things have been this way for maybe 60 or 70 years at best, it puts in perspective just how new all of this is and why we're still dealing with a lot of paleo-social flotsam. |
They move at that pace because its how people want them to move. |
Not trying to push you here but do you even know what that means? 'Because 'they' want them to' is a much more vast, complex, headless, and non-humanly-decided dynamic than you're crediting it for. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12482
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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| techstepgenr8tion wrote: | | MXH wrote: | | techstepgenr8tion wrote: | | MXH wrote: |
That line was drawn at a time when men and women were not equal socially. Now that we are equal on paper people following these old customs are holding back the true equality. I dont blame them for not wanting to give up the upper hand but if you cry for equality you have to remember you have to give as much as you take. |
The headache is social customs and attitudes move considerably more slowly than law. When one looks at the tides of history and realize that things have been this way for maybe 60 or 70 years at best, it puts in perspective just how new all of this is and why we're still dealing with a lot of paleo-social flotsam. |
They move at that pace because its how people want them to move. |
Not trying to push you here but do you even know what that means? 'Because 'they' want them to' is a much more vast, complex, headless, and non-humanly-decided dynamic than you're crediting it for. |
Nobody likes to give up an advantage. Most differences between men and women are by what they learn. Most physical differences are directly related to bearing a child and only affect that in itself |
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