Kids say the darndest things

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A guy at the pharmacy walked up to my 4-year-old and said, "Hey, Little Man!"

He said, "I'm not a little man: I'm a KID!"

Youngest (just turned 4) has a new and delightful habit when his will is thwarted. Like when we ask him to stop jumping on furniture, for example.

He'll shake a finger at us and SCREAM "I am so MAD at you right now!" This, from a child with severe speech delays. At least he's expressing his feelings....

I thought this was a humorous bit of literal thinking, though maybe it was one of those "you had to be there" moments. We were watching a movie last night and at the end when the credits began to roll the first thing that came up said
"For Ellie"
DS said "Sorry Ellie, but we got this one".

It took me a couple of beats then I explained to him that the person who made the movie was thinking about Ellie when he made it. It didn't mean that particular tape (yes we still have a VCR) was meant to be Ellie's.

This isn't words. Hope that's o.k.
I came home this morning at 7:15 after an errand I had to do.
My son opened the door to the garage and started jumping up and down and smiling.

I heard my fourteen year old talking to my five year old niece about Stephen Hawking in the other room. My fourteen year old is an Aspie and very interested in theoretical physics and astronomy.

Niece: Who is Stephen Hawking?

Son: He is a very important physicist, a theoretical physicist in fact. And he studies how the universe works.

Niece: Oh that's neat! (We have actually had the kids watch his TV specials, but the Niece finds them utterly boring and so still does not really understand.)

Son: Also he is paralyzed, so he needs a wheel chair to get around.

Niece: Awwww

Son: And he uses a computer to talk, no don't feel bad for him his voice sounds really cool. Its kind of like my Kindle in text to speech mode.

My four year old disagreed with what her father told her.
She repeated one of his key phrase: I am bigger than you so I must be right!
Her dad pointed out she was not bigger
To which she replied: I wanna be bigger soon

Went to the in laws yesterday afternoon and my 6yr old daughter was playing upstairs with her grandad whilst we were talking with the mother in law. Eventually father in law came down and we asked if they'd finished playing and he said yes but she'd upset him a bit by saying he was fat (he was just jokingly telling us, he wasn't really upset). I told him not to take it personally she will just be very blunt about things and doesn't think about how it may upset people(before I realised he was jokingly mentioning it). She came downstairs and she denied saying it, her exact words "I DID NOT call him fat...I just said he needed to lose a little weight" then he said that she didn't say he needed to lose weight at all, just that he was fat. She stormed off upstairs shouting that he'd made her upset now, I waited 5 minutes to let her cool off before going up and this is what was said;

Daughter was hiding behind the curtains in the bedroom..

Me: Are you going to come downstairs and play?
Her: NO! Grandad's made me upset, he lied about me!
Me: I think it was just a misunderstanding, why don't you tell me what was said so we can figure out what happened?
Her: He said I called him fat when I didn't!
Me: Okay what EXACTLY did you say?
Her: I just said that he needed to lose a bit of weight and that (whispers and expresses using wide arm movements) he was a little fat
Me: So you did say he was fat?
Her: No I didn't!! !!
Me: Okay....You said he was a little fat but you didn't mean it in a bad way?
Her: Yes, why doesn't he understand that?!
Me: Well it's different for people like grandad, me and you think in a similar way so I understood that it was probably just a misunderstanding and you didn't mean it the way you said it
Her: Okay
Me: So shall we go down and play with grandad now?
Her: Okay....but he is a little fat isn't he
Me: (whispering) He may need to lose a little weight but your not supposed to say that because it can hurt his feelings okay?
Her: Okay mummy, I won't tell him he's fat anymore

We go downstairs, she smiles at grandad and says

"Sorry grandad, I didn't mean to upset you about being fat, I won't tell you that your fat anymore even though you are, so then you don't have to be upset.... Can we play hide and seek? I'll hide you count to 50....."

That is the most BRILLIANT conversation EVER!! ROFL!

I overheard this conversation last week between dd(10) and her 9yo NT best friend. I had to go outside afterward and laugh, after the whole rudeness/apology discussion.

So they're sitting together on the couch watching a movie and best friend is also looking at a pre-teen magazine..

BF- Do you want to take this quiz.
DD- Okay.. (She good naturedly takes about 3 quizzes in this manner...)
BF- Ohh..do you want to try this quiz..it's about what boy is right for you.
DD- What I WANT to do is watch the movie but SOMEBODY won't shut up long enough for me to watch it!

Luckily dd's best friend is used to her and her "quirks", but her face still blanched at this one. All was good ten minutes later, but it does crack me up when it happens out of the blue like that!

Was watching a nature show with my daughter and the man said when referring to a giant salamander "he has a face only a mother could love". So my daughter asked me "Do you love his face?" I said "I think they mean HIS mother."

Sweeet! Poor salamander

Funny scenario with me and my (then) 4 year old daughter:

Mom: Get out of the kitchen!
KC: No!
Mom: Get out! I'm going to count to three and then you'd better be out of there!
KC: No!! !
Mom: One. Two. Three!
KC: Four!
Mom: There is no four!! !
KC: Oh well done mommy!

That was probably one of the longest sentences she was able to say for a while.

And also, today there was this crazy misquito thing buzzing above us in a circle, which was VERY amusing to KC. It went and landed on the ceiling and KC said "that's like an airplane animal".
Teeheehee

The other night at dinner my 6 year old daughter was squirting Braggs Liquid Aminos (it's like soy sauce) directly into her mouth,

Her father looked at her, told her nicely she can't do that and took the bottle away.

She became very upset. She demanded he give it back because she needed it,

He told her that she did not need it.

Her "But it has all my essential amino acids."

At this point, I stepped in and asked if she knew what amino acids were.

Her "Amino Acids are the building blocks of protein, and I NEED them!"

I showed my son a picture of his baby brother and I said, "Who is this?" The answer? "It's ... cry. Whaaa!"