Nereid
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 06, 2011
Posts: 154
Location: San Francisco
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 Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:20 am Post subject: |
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Thanks everyone for your input and sharing your experiences. The problem is for me right now is there person I live with doesn't just drink a few beers usually but beinges. He hangs out with people who beinge. Then, I have to work (or even if I dont have to) the next day but there's a bunch of loud, belligerent people stomping around my apartment. At this point they'll also blare music exceptionally and IMO way too loud. The situation is more complicated by the fact that this person is my boyfriend and despite our agreements on many issues, the alcohol thing has been a major point of disparagement. At the same time though, it seems like so many friendships are forged through alcohol and bar activities although many of these "friendships" exist on such a superficial level. Of these people who come over, I would imagine only a few would want to hang out were no debauchery involved. As the person who is usually concerned more about homework or getting sleep I dont think any of those people would ever be around me were it not for my boyfriend. Perhaps I need to start hanging out with professional sorts in their thirties? I live in a very libertine, anything-goes type city so it seems like unless I move, this pattern will only repeat itself.
Wish they'd bring back prohibition sometimes.... |
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blue_bean
Buy me a Pony!
Joined: Apr 14, 2006
Age: 29
Posts: 8231
Location: sailing the accountancy
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| Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:04 am Post subject: |
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If you're out at a bar and don't want to drink just tell people you're a designated driver.
Even better, jump at the chance to be the one behind the wheel so you have an excuse not to drink. |
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Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:39 am Post subject: |
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| With internet and big cities there's no reason to put with people that makes your life less than good. Sure these people will not be found as easy. But make the effort to not fear loneliness and be focused on the people that makes your life good and accept no less. |
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Shatbat
Fénix
Joined: Feb 20, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 4080
Location: South America
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:06 am Post subject: |
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Oh, I guess I'll tell the other side perspective and say why I like drinking.
Mind you it's all about the people. I'll only drink with at least 1 close friend, and in a group I should know at least one third of the people there. Dancing is big in south-america, and even though I'm pretty clumsy at it, the right amount of alcohol will make my self-consciousness go away, so my dancing doesn't deviate too much from the average. Besides, that's an ambient already associated with fun, which makes my mind go into some sort of social mode even before the alcohol, very good for sustaining witty conversation.
Still, I could, and have, meet with those people at a coffee shop, and do fine. |
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Nereid
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 06, 2011
Posts: 154
Location: San Francisco
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:30 am Post subject: |
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| blue_bean wrote: | If you're out at a bar and don't want to drink just tell people you're a designated driver.
Even better, jump at the chance to be the one behind the wheel so you have an excuse not to drink. |
no one in the group drives. City is full of public transportation. 
The funny thing is, if enough people started thinking drinking was uncool/lame, magically all the heavy drinkers (outside of the major alcoholics) wouldn't think its fun anymore either. Its just sad people think they need to be drugged to have a good time. Its stupid if I tell certain people "I was soo wasted" stories they would like me better. Stupid-stupid-stupid!
I for one can run around like an idiot and stumble everywhere and slur my speech without the aid of alcohol. I'll dance in public and laugh at stupid things as is. I can thank Aspergers for that lol. |
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unseenu
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 04, 2012
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:48 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I for one can run around like an idiot and stumble everywhere and slur my speech without the aid of alcohol. I'll dance in public and laugh at stupid things as is. I can thank Aspergers for that lol. |
I can relate to this,on the rare occasions when I go out with friends I sometimes put on the act of being as drunk as they are,it helps me fit in and is also cheaper than making myself drunk for real. |
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J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Ugh, can't really relate or agree to any opinion posted so far. It seems as if people are only guessing at the experiences or only had negatives ones at best.
For me, I'm a social drinker & it is an important crutch in controlling many of the bad aspects that I feel as part of having AS. Being drunk doesn't reduce the effects of AS, it removes my AS completely like a switch, I go from AS to NT and that is exactly what I want.
For NT's I think the reason mostly relies in this quote, edited to fit what I've been told by my NT friends:
"The cynical one is that people drink because there's nothing else worth being sober for, unless you're one of the lucky few that has a job, money and happiness and getting utterly plastered is a good way to stop thinking about it."
There's a lot of misinformation about the cost of a night out in here, when you don't look at the offers the clubs are giving away. I went out on a Friday night, couple weeks ago with some friends, where drinks at the bar were £1 (per single) - which worked out at 3 for 1 compared to a Saturday night and saved me over £10.
So why is drinking and binge drinking so popular? Because it's cheap and you forget all the negative crap happening right now. I don't blame anyone for trying to be happy in times like these. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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noname_ever
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Posts: 500
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar. |
Some people have jobs. Dropping $150 a weekend wouldn't be a problem for me. However, I find bars (especially solo) to be extremely boring. And I'm cheap. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26047
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Warsie wrote: | | The US has a bar culture which it imported from Europe |
Not really - the American and European types of bar cultures seem very different. Being in an Irish bar or British pub in Canada feels very different to actually being in an Irish bar or British pub back in their respective countries.
| blue_bean wrote: | If you're out at a bar and don't want to drink just tell people you're a designated driver.
Even better, jump at the chance to be the one behind the wheel so you have an excuse not to drink. |
This is very good advice, particularly given how prohibitionist and strict the current prevailing attitude towards drink-driving is in many Western countries. Works better in rural or semi-rural areas though.
| Sweetleaf wrote: | | How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar. |
Wow - a beer is more expensive than you are than where I am! What type of bars do you have there? No craft places?
| J-Greens wrote: | | So why is drinking and binge drinking so popular? |
We actually drink less now (in the UK) than we did ten years ago. Compared to, say, the Czechs, we're not massive drinkers in this country. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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| noname_ever wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar. |
Some people have jobs. Dropping $150 a weekend wouldn't be a problem for me. However, I find bars (especially solo) to be extremely boring. And I'm cheap. |
Still more cost effective to drink at home, but just my opinion.
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Chipshorter
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 17, 2012
Age: 34
Posts: 477
Location: The Georgian Quarter of The Pool of Life, The Centre of The Creative Universe
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:10 pm Post subject: Re: Why the Obsession with Alcohol and/or Barhopping? |
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| Nereid wrote: | It seems like alcohol is a mandatory supplement in order to create a'many social events. I've already been explained to that its a "social lubricant", but it only helps if you're the right kind of drunk. Depending on my mood, I dont want to talk at all or want to sleep when I drink. I dont enjoy drinking more than a few beers and resent the fact that if I'm invited out, especially at night, there's a VERY good chance I'll be expected to drink. Now some would say "dont hang out with people who drink". Literally everyone I know well enough to hang out with right now is a drinker. I'm already isolated socially as it is. Why is it so great to hang out at bars? Its loud, overpriced, bad service, dirty bathrooms, and I have to shout at the person standing next to me. Apparently for twenty-somethings, this is supposed to be a good time, and for some reason its not looked down upon to not remember the night before.
I guess my question for those off you who enjoy either excessive social drinking or going to bars, why is that so often a choice over a variety of other activities? |
No, alcohol is a choice. You can go to a pub and choice to have soft drinks if you wanted to. Are there any dry bars in your area, my city has one & its great place to hang out in. You'll get a mixed bag of quality of pubs and bars. Some of the pubs in my area quite at sometimes of the days thou there one pub that has a no music policy.
I go out social drinking cos I enjoy & love real ale plus I have 16 real ale pubs in the neighbourhood I live in, which done help with a having a great pint. 
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Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime. --Potter Stewart
Corruption is authority plus monopoly minus transparency. --Unknown |
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noname_ever
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Posts: 500
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | noname_ever wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar. |
Some people have jobs. Dropping $150 a weekend wouldn't be a problem for me. However, I find bars (especially solo) to be extremely boring. And I'm cheap. |
Still more cost effective to drink at home, but just my opinion. |
Of course it's more cost effective, but you don't get the people around you. That's why most people go to bars. It's social. The alcohol just lubes the socialness. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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| noname_ever wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | noname_ever wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | How the hell do people afford to go to bars regularly anyways, that's expensive as hell. I mean 5 dollars for a beer and 6 or more for a shot of something. I prefer to just drink with a few other people in a smaller, not as annoying environment with whatever music I want. I don't mind going to bars occasionally though even then it depends on the bar. |
Some people have jobs. Dropping $150 a weekend wouldn't be a problem for me. However, I find bars (especially solo) to be extremely boring. And I'm cheap. |
Still more cost effective to drink at home, but just my opinion. |
Of course it's more cost effective, but you don't get the people around you. That's why most people go to bars. It's social. The alcohol just lubes the socialness. |
Well if I feel like talking to new people I will go to a bar or hang around the bar area at a concert, but sometimes I don't want to be around a bunch of random people.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Thom_Fuleri
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2010
Posts: 802
Location: Leicestershire, UK
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: | | For me, I'm a social drinker & it is an important crutch in controlling many of the bad aspects that I feel as part of having AS. Being drunk doesn't reduce the effects of AS, it removes my AS completely like a switch, I go from AS to NT and that is exactly what I want. |
Alcohol switches off that part of us that includes judgement. We don't think about consequences while plastered, which is why so many terrible ideas seem brilliant at the time. It's not switching off your AS, just the part of you that worries about stuff, which we can all find quite appealing at times.
But it's a dangerous approach. While playing darts with my first boyfriend under the influence of several drinks, he went to remove them from the board before I finished throwing them. The final dart landed an inch away from his hand. How did I react? I found it hilarious. So sure, I'm a lot more sociable after two double vodkas, but I'm also a danger to myself and others and I may not even realise it. If they're drinking too, they probably won't realise it either.
| Quote: | | "The cynical one is that people drink because there's nothing else worth being sober for, unless you're one of the lucky few that has a job, money and happiness and getting utterly plastered is a good way to stop thinking about it." |
People drink because they want to get high. Same old human nature. Those that drink to escape reality are alcoholics, and that's a very different kettle of fish. |
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