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Do aspies *look* gay? Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next  
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AstroGeek
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

murasaki_ahiru wrote:
DiabloDave363 wrote:
i care about my looks and purple is one of my favorite colors...sooo i have gotten many accusations regarding my sexuality. but its fun to prove girls wrong ;D

Caring about your looks and health is not "gay" imo. Purple is one of my fav colours too.

Of course not. But NTs aren't very smart about these things and due to stereotypes they will make assumption.
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MissConstrue
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In school I was called this a lot which was very embarassing given that for a female it means you look like a dyke. I never wore makeup because I didn't know exactly how to and the clothes I wore were usually jeans and a plain t-shirt. Not that I consider myself a tom boy but trying to get ready for school and living on what little I had I couldn't really afford to look feminine enough I guess. I always wondered how girls were able to pull off looking "straight" or "feminine" even to this day.... Confused
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DiabloDave363
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

murasaki_ahiru wrote:
DiabloDave363 wrote:
i care about my looks and purple is one of my favorite colors...sooo i have gotten many accusations regarding my sexuality. but its fun to prove girls wrong ;D

Caring about your looks and health is not "gay" imo. Purple is one of my fav colours too.

i agree with you, it's just that to others that can be perceived as gay or metrosexual.
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MindWithoutWalls
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NT straights think everything they don't like or don't understand is "gay". By saying, "That's so gay," and saying, "That's really retarded", they're really saying the same thing. It's just that the former is the one that's more socially acceptable these days. They say it, and then they claim it's not prejudiced to do that. Bovine droppings! Taking a term that's commonly used to refer to an entire group of people and turning it into a term to mean "bad" or "stupid" or "wrong" or "evil" is a prejudiced act that is unjustifiably hurtful to those people. How would you feel if people did that with your name?

I'm gay, and I'm tired of this. Yeah, I'm a dyke. Get over it.

Proper hygiene and good grooming when you're male are gay? Really? Well, then, hooray for gays!

If you're female, dressing comfortably, rather than rushing off to spend money matching every fashion whim of society, and not plastering your face with multicolored goop make you a dyke? Well, then, hooray for dykes!

I don't see what's so bad about either of those things.
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Billybones
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Taking a term that's commonly used to refer to an entire group of people and turning it into a term to mean "bad" or "stupid" or "wrong" or "evil" is a prejudiced act that is unjustifiably hurtful to those people. How would you feel if people did that with your name?


Me too, I hate it when people tell me that I shouldn't be offended by this, to the word "gay" being used as a universal put-down. They say I shouldn't take it personally, but it IS personal when people use that kind of language. Especially when they know me.

Quote:
Proper hygiene and good grooming when you're male are gay? Really? Well, then, hooray for gays!

If you're female, dressing comfortably, rather than rushing off to spend money matching every fashion whim of society, and not plastering your face with multicolored goop make you a dyke? Well, then, hooray for dykes!


I used to not care so much about my looks, but when I realized that I needed to learn some social skills I discovered that looks do matter. So I became attentive enough, but apparently not as attentive as most others. In a way, I think this may be what separates me from the gay community - I dress comfortably, not fashionably - but I perceive (rightly or wrongly) that most NT gays are hyper-attentive to their looks & clothing. For my part, once I found a look that I'm comfortable with, I've had no desire to morph into something else. I mean, I kind of took a liking to having my hair long, but that just seems so out with the gay scene today. Also, though I care about my weight & physical health, I've never been keen on lifting weights & then staring at myself in the mirror - it just bores me to tears.

I've sometimes joked that maybe I'm a lesbian trapped in a gay dude's body. But that's just getting back to the same old stereotypes. If there's one thing I think all of us can agree on, it's that gender & sexual stereotypes really suck.
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aussiebloke
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hyperlexian wrote:
Joker wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Defiler wrote:
Haven't seen one yet that DOESN'T look gay.


Defiler's WrongPlanet profile wrote:
Have Aspergers - Diagnosed

well, now.


Can Alex do something about this guy he is a bigot and very homophobic.

that person will not be posting anymnore.


really a ban so quickly Shocked I've said some pretty nasty things here can I have one to Very Happy

You offered me a suspension Smile If I recall correctly how long ?
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hyperlexian
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

as long as you want.
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ShelfInTheRoom
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think there is some truth behind this... My entire life people have said I look like a girl/girly. And honestly, I look a little sexually ambiguous. It has nothing to do with the way I dress or anything, it's just my face.
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SanityTheorist
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well gender stereotypes are irrelevant to us...honestly I prefer wearing dresses and skirts for comfortability and jeans and t shirts with flannel for outdoors...

Overall most just assume I'm geeky...and I kinda am past playing guitar. And I am far from overly masculine, I have traits of both gender roles as do all of us, and I am quite balanced with more in masculinity.

Most are surprised that I'm bisexual, and I prefer men over women.
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TheHouseholdCat
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Do aspies *look* gay? Reply with quote

Mootoo wrote:
Somehow aspies always look weird, and in turn some people may think they're effeminate because of that. I certainly don't see many 'macho'-type aspies.

It's because Asperger's makes it difficult for people to fit into the gender roles, I believe. Because doing that means you have to have an awareness of what you have to DO to look like a woman or a man. Or whatever... I don't think it's something they are, but they just do not join in the gender binary play that other people engage in.
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visagrunt
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gay people: we look like everyone else.

Aspies: we look like everyone else.

Since gay people and aspies both look like everyone else, they must, ipso facto look like each other.

q.e.d.

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Onjenae
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol i have to admit i generally do think most aspie guys are gay even thought my boyfriend is an aspie htey tedn to lack masculinity , be very sensitive and jsut dont have alot of the qualtiies a women is naturally attracted to when she is looking for a mate

you will very rarely see and aspie male who fits into the alpha male persona Crying or Very sad
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SmokingYoshi
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol for some reason, people always ask me if I'm gay. I say yes, and they say something along the lines of "Oh! It all makes sense now lol!"
So.... Yeah.
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Joe90
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I f***ing hope not, otherwise I will become housebound and never come out.
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Mayel
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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I look "gay" sometimes. I know that because women approach me quiet often.
Straight men rarely if ever think I'm gay or remark or approach me about that (the opposite seems to be true here). But that's not true for women, and I mean, lesbians.
I think it may be because of the way I dress or look (I have long hair, but short nails, no make up and dress a little bit tomboyish ....think Ellen Page or Kristen Stewart but with no make up).

But that leads me to the question is your clothing style or appearance really that important?
I've read a scientific article how the famous "gaydar" is accurate (more or less), at least for gay men. But I don't know about women (given that their sexuality isn't always that set in stone or a one-way street)....
I've been mistaken for being gay fairly often by gay women.....so that's where I think it might be the appearance as in clothing? (Or if I take an arrogant point of view: maybe I just look appealing to them?).

Are there any scientific studies about clothing or at least "gaydars" and women?

AS people may be more oblivious to cultural norms in appearance which make them not take into account certain things which socially aware people would take into account (and although it's not really important or it shouldn't be defining: it being your appearance, mannerisms or intonation..etc.; it seems to be culturo-sexually defining quiet often).
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