pezar
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 06, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 1631
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Ria1989
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 19, 2011
Posts: 336
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 Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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When I read stories like these, I come to the realization of how superficial and selfish our society is. I worked with an autistic child, and went to the store with her and her mother. She was only seven. Her mom got nasty looks from everyone in the store; her autistic child was running around and it was hard to control her due to the stimuli there. I remember asking her mom if that happens everywhere she goes. Of course she replies it does and that people judge her for not being a good mom.
Our society has a long way to go to accept people and empathize; it's interesting that autistics are stereotyped as people who can't empathize or socially understand others, when so few people understand their world.
We have a long way to go!!! |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87175
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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btbnnyr
Rabbit In Cat's Clothing
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 3110
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
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| Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| There were many comments sympathizing with the mother who killed her son and the father who discovered the bodies, but I didn't see any for the son who was killed. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87175
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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jojobean
sacred clown
Joined: Aug 13, 2009
Posts: 3341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:10 am Post subject: |
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honestly....I cant judge anyone in this situation. One of my parents had to fight very hard not to do a murder/suicide with me as a teen, but said parent fought the agony and we both survived. Sometimes when things get so bad, caretakers are unable to see past the despair of that moment in time. However, we both survived and I overcome far more than the experts expected. The "doctors" told my parents that I would never experience peace, never be able to live outside of an insitution. They basicly told them I had no hope for a future. Well I been to college, lived on my own, enjoyed life quite well. I have overcome so much more than anyone thought possible for me. I am the testimony that the darkest hour is not the the destination. One day, I hope to start a hotline for parents in this hour. Because she was not able to see beyond the darkness of life at that moment, her son will not have a chance in this life to one day blossom. He was essentually nipped in the bud. I know he was in his early 20's, but I was in my early 30's before I really was able to come into my own. I not saying that would have happened to him or not, He may have gone on into his 60's and still been LFA needing alot of care, but he still had value. Every person no matter how great or small, have something to teach us. Even if this young man only could teach people compassion, he would have done a great service to humanity who desperately needs it.
One day, when life allows me to, I am going back to school to be an art therapist. I want to be self employed as an Non-profit art therapist for those with autism like me. Art gave me a voice, brought me out of that darkness...it still does everyday.
I believe un-judged creativity can give a voice to even the most autistic of us. I dont claim to cure...I claim to do more than that...to give voice to those who have trouble finding it. Within this program, I would like to do a hotline for caretakers like this woman.
With the right resources, many lives can be saved.
Jojo
_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin |
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Kraichgauer
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 13, 2010
Age: 47
Posts: 12751
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:31 am Post subject: |
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| jojobean wrote: | honestly....I cant judge anyone in this situation. One of my parents had to fight very hard not to do a murder/suicide with me as a teen, but said parent fought the agony and we both survived. Sometimes when things get so bad, caretakers are unable to see past the despair of that moment in time. However, we both survived and I overcome far more than the experts expected. The "doctors" told my parents that I would never experience peace, never be able to live outside of an insitution. They basicly told them I had no hope for a future. Well I been to college, lived on my own, enjoyed life quite well. I have overcome so much more than anyone thought possible for me. I am the testimony that the darkest hour is not the the destination. One day, I hope to start a hotline for parents in this hour. Because she was not able to see beyond the darkness of life at that moment, her son will not have a chance in this life to one day blossom. He was essentually nipped in the bud. I know he was in his early 20's, but I was in my early 30's before I really was able to come into my own. I not saying that would have happened to him or not, He may have gone on into his 60's and still been LFA needing alot of care, but he still had value. Every person no matter how great or small, have something to teach us. Even if this young man only could teach people compassion, he would have done a great service to humanity who desperately needs it.
One day, when life allows me to, I am going back to school to be an art therapist. I want to be self employed as an Non-profit art therapist for those with autism like me. Art gave me a voice, brought me out of that darkness...it still does everyday.
I believe un-judged creativity can give a voice to even the most autistic of us. I dont claim to cure...I claim to do more than that...to give voice to those who have trouble finding it. Within this program, I would like to do a hotline for caretakers like this woman.
With the right resources, many lives can be saved.
Jojo |
Your post has given me much hope for my daughter, who has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS.
Thank you. 
-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13489
Location: My house
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:57 am Post subject: |
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| btbnnyr wrote: | | There were many comments sympathizing with the mother who killed her son and the father who discovered the bodies, but I didn't see any for the son who was killed. |
Huh? I saw some sympathy comments about the son. Some are saying they both rest in peace. The mother son. I think that is sympathy there. |
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heavenlyabyss
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 530
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:33 am Post subject: |
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I find this extremely sad but not overly surprising.
Sorry, but I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for the mom. Of course she's dead now, so I guess that forces me to have a little sympathy.
People need to reach out and ask for help when they find themselves in these situations. The adult son would have been better off in a residential home. There is nothing more harmful to everyone involved than when a parent despises their own child. When it gets to this point, action needs to be taken by outside authorities.
Sorry if that's harsh, but we do need to realize this is flat-out murder. My sympathy only extends so far.
It's like the codependent of an alcoholic or a cancer sufferer that plays the hero but deep down holds feelings of dark hostility. These people need to stop playing the hero and protect the ones they love by giving them up to people who can truly take care of them. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:35 am Post subject: |
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| Ria1989 wrote: |
Our society has a long way to go to accept people and empathize; it's interesting that autistics are stereotyped as people who can't empathize or socially understand others, when so few people understand their world. |
I think I might have figured this one out several years ago. Empathy is almost directly related to inherent 'without trying' conformity. If you're nervous system and style of operating is bang-on-center with the hypothetical normal curve you can empathize easily because what most people are doing you do by reflex so little effort is needed. Likewise if someone is an outlier empathy breaks down both ways, you'd just never hear it phrased like that because people don't like to doubt themselves. |
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danmac
the bringer of unwanted things
Joined: Mar 23, 2010
Age: 38
Posts: 3164
Location: chi town burbs
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:16 am Post subject: |
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| CockneyRebel wrote: | | I don't really want to read the comments. |
+1
_________________
everything is funny if your looking at it right |
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Ria1989
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 19, 2011
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| techstepgenr8tion wrote: | | Ria1989 wrote: |
Our society has a long way to go to accept people and empathize; it's interesting that autistics are stereotyped as people who can't empathize or socially understand others, when so few people understand their world. |
you'd just never hear it phrased like that because people don't like to doubt themselves. |
Couldn't agree more. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13489
Location: My house
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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What I don't understand is if parents get so over whelmed caring for their disabled kids, why not just put them in a home where they be cared for? Are they afraid they be abused there or something? Or are they afraid of being shunned for doing that to their child? What was the reason for the mother not putting him in a home?
Besides when you put your disabled child in a home, you can still go there and visit them and still bring them home for a visit so it's not like you put them there and forget about them. |
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jojobean
sacred clown
Joined: Aug 13, 2009
Posts: 3341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Kraichgauer wrote: | | jojobean wrote: | honestly....I cant judge anyone in this situation. One of my parents had to fight very hard not to do a murder/suicide with me as a teen, but said parent fought the agony and we both survived. Sometimes when things get so bad, caretakers are unable to see past the despair of that moment in time. However, we both survived and I overcome far more than the experts expected. The "doctors" told my parents that I would never experience peace, never be able to live outside of an insitution. They basicly told them I had no hope for a future. Well I been to college, lived on my own, enjoyed life quite well. I have overcome so much more than anyone thought possible for me. I am the testimony that the darkest hour is not the the destination. One day, I hope to start a hotline for parents in this hour. Because she was not able to see beyond the darkness of life at that moment, her son will not have a chance in this life to one day blossom. He was essentually nipped in the bud. I know he was in his early 20's, but I was in my early 30's before I really was able to come into my own. I not saying that would have happened to him or not, He may have gone on into his 60's and still been LFA needing alot of care, but he still had value. Every person no matter how great or small, have something to teach us. Even if this young man only could teach people compassion, he would have done a great service to humanity who desperately needs it.
One day, when life allows me to, I am going back to school to be an art therapist. I want to be self employed as an Non-profit art therapist for those with autism like me. Art gave me a voice, brought me out of that darkness...it still does everyday.
I believe un-judged creativity can give a voice to even the most autistic of us. I dont claim to cure...I claim to do more than that...to give voice to those who have trouble finding it. Within this program, I would like to do a hotline for caretakers like this woman.
With the right resources, many lives can be saved.
Jojo |
Your post has given me much hope for my daughter, who has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS.
Thank you.
-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer |
Your welcome, I come a long way from the kid that banged her head on the floor and and couldn't really understand much of what was said until I was 12, we get there eventually though.
Jojo
_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin |
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mntn13
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Posts: 1006
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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I believe un-judged creativity can give a voice to even the most autistic of us.
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