muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1071
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 Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:04 pm Post subject: Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"? |
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That seems to be the best way to describe it, don't you think?
On the same note, if you are past high school and life got better, what exact things did you do or stop doing to get along better with people?
I don't say anything in class and don't express strong emotions, though I attempt to be courteous to others.
But sometimes you just have to get somewhere and you can't worry about peoples personal space XD
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kg4fxg
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 168
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:13 pm Post subject: Skills |
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I think we are learning new skills all the time. Maybe what some would call negative reinforcement. Which is why it is harder to diagnose an older person with Aspergers because we can "ACT" better or place roles because we know what is expected in certain situations.
I am still uncomfortable at social situations, always looking at the door and wanting to make an unseen exit.
I can mentally sit in a meeting and say to myself, don't say something stupid, what would an NT say? Make a few good comments and keep my mouth shut. Avoid emotion at all costs.
Of course I miss social cues, and it helps greatly being an accountant. I think the field is a magnet for Aspies and Eccentrics.
It is easy to blend in and to be different. Accountant are suppose to see in Black and White terms. Think logically. And other typical stereotypes, hence it makes being an Aspie a great place to hide.
So do we grow up slower?
Change is slow but cannot be stopped. I don't think it should be confused with maturity. Aspies can be EXTREMELY smart. Especially about their obsessions. I think we develop the Social Skills slower and don't even realize we develop them. As in not a conscience effort all the time. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1071
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:15 pm Post subject: Re: Skills |
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| kg4fxg wrote: | I think we are learning new skills all the time. Maybe what some would call negative reinforcement. Which is why it is harder to diagnose an older person with Aspergers because we can "ACT" better or place roles because we know what is expected in certain situations.
I am still uncomfortable at social situations, always looking at the door and wanting to make an unseen exit.
I can mentally sit in a meeting and say to myself, don't say something stupid, what would an NT say? Make a few good comments and keep my mouth shut. Avoid emotion at all costs.
Of course I miss social cues, and it helps greatly being an accountant. I think the field is a magnet for Aspies and Eccentrics.
It is easy to blend in and to be different. Accountant are suppose to see in Black and White terms. Think logically. And other typical stereotypes, hence it makes being an Aspie a great place to hide.
So do we grow up slower?
Change is slow but cannot be stopped. I don't think it should be confused with maturity. Aspies can be EXTREMELY smart. Especially about their obsessions. I think we develop the Social Skills slower and don't even realize we develop them. As in not a conscience effort all the time. |
No, I'm currently (consciously of course) beginning to understand the cues of my fellow students.
And my own inadequacies.
I'm also thinking of accounting as my profession btw!
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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kg4fxg
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 168
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:44 pm Post subject: muslimmetalhead |
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Good deal with accounting, if I can help feel free to PM me.
There are lots of room for Aspies of all skills in Accounting. We just hired an Admin Assistant. Not all positions require a four year degree. But as in most accounting offices you will not seem weird. It is a requirement:) |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:42 pm Post subject: Growing up slower? |
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| I guess I am going to be forever young. I am in my early 50s, and still have social troubles, but I didn't have help with this when I was growing up, as Autism/Asperger's weren't recognized as such back then. We were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems, and sometimes also being undisciplined, or trouble makers. At least now there is help for the younger generation. Us oldsters are too set in our ways to get much out of the programs available for the younger set, but I am glad that help is now available for some of us. |
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kg4fxg
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 168
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:45 pm Post subject: FYI |
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| I am 49 and graduated High School in 1981. So I know what you mean. They never heard of Aspergers back then. |
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youngxmagexofxmyths
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 06, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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| In a way its both the genetic make up and the fact we are culturally seperated from our peers which means we aren't as exposed to the same things as they are. In a way, we do grow up, but in a different way then they do. I suppose it's better how we grow up. Besides, most of our peers are pushed to grow up faster than they want to. We though aren't as affected by peer preassure because of the cultural seperation. |
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techstepscientist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:44 am Post subject: |
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When i was younger it use to feel that i had a slower developmental rate compared to my peers. I would find myself discovering things that most people discovered many years ago. For instance it wasnt until my last year of college (17-1 that i finally clicked that people do not know what i am thinking. Most NT will figure this between the ages of 3 and 4, or by age 7 at the latest. I am currently nearly 40, and still the world is up for discovery, learning new things everyday, which most NT learned whilst at school. Thus now i would say that most NT live in a social world, that i am only just discovering exists. |
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Tremere
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 06, 2005
Age: 22
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:18 am Post subject: Re: Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"? |
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| muslimmetalhead wrote: | | That seems to be the best way to describe it, don't you think? |
That is a bit general. I 'grew up' faster than most of my peers, but my social development is a bit behind.
| Quote: |
On the same note, if you are past high school and life got better, what exact things did you do or stop doing to get along better with people? |
In retrospect, high school is a rather toxic social environment, even relatively 'normal' people think that. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1071
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| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 3:47 pm Post subject: Re: Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"? |
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| Tremere wrote: | | muslimmetalhead wrote: | | That seems to be the best way to describe it, don't you think? |
That is a bit general. I 'grew up' faster than most of my peers, but my social development is a bit behind.
| Quote: |
On the same note, if you are past high school and life got better, what exact things did you do or stop doing to get along better with people? |
In retrospect, high school is a rather toxic social environment, even relatively 'normal' people think that. |
No, we still play Pokemon and don't understand that men are supposed to act at around 12 or 13.
Most of the kids in my 7th grade were acting a lot older than I was. The reason we're considered anti-social is because we don't "grow up" fast enough.
It's not just physical growth. It's about mental growth.
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Asterisp
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Posts: 900
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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Growing up more slow is so negative.
I just think about my self that I am missing certain instincts and abilities. In time I just learn better to compensate for them using tricks and intellect. That I miss those instincts and abilities does not mean I am not growing up, but just not developing in the most accepted way.
Who is to say my way of developing or growing up is not a good way? I have other abilities that are better than those of most people. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18071
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:38 am Post subject: |
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| if growing up means successfully matriculating into the world of functional adult social relations/relationships, then i am stunted. if one confines the working definition of "grown up" to mean weaned from direct parental care, then i guess i'm grown up, nominally. |
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Tremere
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 06, 2005
Age: 22
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 7:57 am Post subject: Re: Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"? |
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| muslimmetalhead wrote: |
No, we still play Pokemon and don't understand that men are supposed to act at around 12 or 13.
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I was the complete opposite.
(and I know quite a few people who continued to play Pokemon, maybe not as enthusiastically as they did at 10. It picks up again if you go to University  )
Its just another example that it is the autistic spectrum after all, there are no definitive traits that every single one of us share.
But I did know quite a few people with Aspergers at my high school who did not pick up on things the way you describe. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1071
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:00 pm Post subject: Re: Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"? |
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| Tremere wrote: | | muslimmetalhead wrote: |
No, we still play Pokemon and don't understand that men are supposed to act at around 12 or 13.
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I was the complete opposite.
(and I know quite a few people who continued to play Pokemon, maybe not as enthusiastically as they did at 10. It picks up again if you go to University )
Its just another example that it is the autistic spectrum after all, there are no definitive traits that every single one of us share.
But I did know quite a few people with Aspergers at my high school who did not pick up on things the way you describe. |
Part of this post was asking what im not picking up right now
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kahlua
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 342
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 6:39 am Post subject: |
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I totally missed out on learning\growing social skills, but loved reading fiction as a kid. Always preferred animals to people.
As an adult, I still love reading fiction (re-read my fav books to escape reality) but despite doing adult things (jobs, driving etc) I still feel like a child inside. I don't feel like a woman, certainly don't feel ready to have kids etc. Still like playing with animals (horses etc) riding motorbikes, playing computer\console games etc.
But I don't go out and party, or get drunk etc. Never did that as a kid\teen either. |
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