ScientistOfSound
Hope I die before I get old
Joined: May 22, 2011
Age: 18
Posts: 1014
Location: In an evil testing facility
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 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:57 am Post subject: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles?
I consider my gender to be fluid. I have both male and female personality traits; and often have interests that are not specific to my gender, however I am comfortable with my physical appearance. I wouldn't be afraid to cross dress or anything like that, but I don't choose to. Anybody else like me? |
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GreenPeas
Emu Egg
Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:54 am Post subject: |
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I'm kind of similar to you and I identify as an Androgyne/Androgynous.
Here's a nice list of many Genderqueer identities, maybe you'll find one that fits you: http://genderqueerid.com/gq-terms |
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MissConstrue
~Meow Clawdius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 19686
Location: Missouri
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:39 am Post subject: |
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I never felt I could identify sexually or traditionally my gender and yet I don't feel compelled to change myself physically because I don't feel one way or the other. I was going to make a topic about it in the women's thread but deleted it because I can't put it in the best of words. I don't see myself so much as a tomboy as just someone with both masculine and some feminine qualities however I find "being feminine" very much a challenge. If I try hard enough, I can pull the feminine look and act off but I find it extremely overwhelming and fake. I've never been great at pretending to be something I'm not. When it comes to sexuality, I'm not bisexual or lesbian but I don't find what "normal" women want or find attractive in a man. It's almost as if I more or less identify with men but take away the said gender of attraction. Not sure if I'm making enough sense. I've often wondered if there were books about this sort of stuff to help better understand myself. I find this issue frustrating and want to tear my hair every time I see people commenting about what women are attracted to and what they want in men. I'm also wondering if it's part of why I find dating hard aside from other issues. . Again I may not be putting this in the best way because there are issues I find hard to describe or put into words.
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Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
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myth
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 707
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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I am this way as well. I have come to learn that atypical gender identity (which would subsequently include a lack of one) is called gender queer.
Apon additional clicking, the website linked above identifies many subtypes of genderqueer. Good resource. Personally, I don't have much need to label myself or find an accurate description of "what I am" because I am just me and I don't think gender is relevant to who I am.
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | I never felt I could identify sexually or traditionally my gender and yet I don't feel compelled to change myself physically because I don't feel one way or the other. I was going to make a topic about it in the women's thread but deleted it because I can't put it in the best of words. I don't see myself so much as a tomboy as just someone with both masculine and some feminine qualities however I find "being feminine" very much a challenge. If I try hard enough, I can pull the feminine look and act off but I find it extremely overwhelming and fake. I've never been great at pretending to be something I'm not. When it comes to sexuality, I'm not bisexual or lesbian but I don't find what "normal" women want or find attractive in a man. It's almost as if I more or less identify with men but take away the said gender of attraction. Not sure if I'm making enough sense. I've often wondered if there were books about this sort of stuff to help better understand myself. I find this issue frustrating and want to tear my hair every time I see people commenting about what women are attracted to and what they want in men. I'm also wondering if it's part of why I find dating hard aside from other issues. . Again I may not be putting this in the best way because there are issues I find hard to describe or put into words. |
I think a lot of these traditional definitions are useless and simply make life difficult for everyone.
I think what you said made a lot of sense to me. I would have put it in similar words.
I don't think I am different to other people though. I just think I cannot fit into these categories as well as other people do. Or seem to do. I don't think I am biologically different at all. Maybe I just make sense of the information differently. 
I think these binaries are just confusing and don't make life easier. They make life much harder because you're confused. Something that also bothers me is this necessity to come out to other people. Because people expect you to be "normal". If you fit "normal" in one way or another, then people won't expect you to declare yourself. If you do not fit "normal" though... Well, it's just discriminating. I don't feel I have to "reveal" myself to anyone.
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EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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myth
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 707
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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RE: binary
I was once invited to a "females only" event by people who considered themselves open to gender identity diversity and therefore they specified that "all who identify as female are welcome to attend" in order to include their transgender/woman-in-a-man's-body friends. I told the organizer that I was not sure if I should attend because I do not identify as female. She replied to me with surprise "You identify as male??"
.. so much for gender identity diversity. That group was laughable for this and other reasons. Why is it that people who pride themselves on being liberal are sometimes the most restrictive?
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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| myth wrote: | RE: binary
I was once invited to a "females only" event by people who considered themselves open to gender identity diversity and therefore they specified that "all who identify as female are welcome to attend" in order to include their transgender/woman-in-a-man's-body friends. I told the organizer that I was not sure if I should attend because I do not identify as female. She replied to me with surprise "You identify as male??"
.. so much for gender identity diversity. That group was laughable for this and other reasons. Why is it that people who pride themselves on being liberal are sometimes the most restrictive? |
I don't know... It's very contradictory.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:00 pm Post subject: Re: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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| ScientistOfSound wrote: | | What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles? |
An aspie  I think most aspies have problems with gender roles. I know that I do. |
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:05 pm Post subject: Re: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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| CrazyCatLord wrote: | | ScientistOfSound wrote: | | What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles? |
An aspie I think most aspies have problems with gender roles. I know that I do. |
I sometimes think that everyone would like to reject gender roles, but no one would admit that unless they have a really big problem with it. People don't want to stick out.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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MissConstrue
~Meow Clawdius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 19686
Location: Missouri
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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| TheHouseholdCat wrote: | | MissConstrue wrote: | | I never felt I could identify sexually or traditionally my gender and yet I don't feel compelled to change myself physically because I don't feel one way or the other. I was going to make a topic about it in the women's thread but deleted it because I can't put it in the best of words. I don't see myself so much as a tomboy as just someone with both masculine and some feminine qualities however I find "being feminine" very much a challenge. If I try hard enough, I can pull the feminine look and act off but I find it extremely overwhelming and fake. I've never been great at pretending to be something I'm not. When it comes to sexuality, I'm not bisexual or lesbian but I don't find what "normal" women want or find attractive in a man. It's almost as if I more or less identify with men but take away the said gender of attraction. Not sure if I'm making enough sense. I've often wondered if there were books about this sort of stuff to help better understand myself. I find this issue frustrating and want to tear my hair every time I see people commenting about what women are attracted to and what they want in men. I'm also wondering if it's part of why I find dating hard aside from other issues. . Again I may not be putting this in the best way because there are issues I find hard to describe or put into words. |
I think a lot of these traditional definitions are useless and simply make life difficult for everyone.
I think what you said made a lot of sense to me. I would have put it in similar words.
I don't think I am different to other people though. I just think I cannot fit into these categories as well as other people do. Or seem to do. I don't think I am biologically different at all. Maybe I just make sense of the information differently.
I think these binaries are just confusing and don't make life easier. They make life much harder because you're confused. Something that also bothers me is this necessity to come out to other people. Because people expect you to be "normal". If you fit "normal" in one way or another, then people won't expect you to declare yourself. If you do not fit "normal" though... Well, it's just discriminating. I don't feel I have to "reveal" myself to anyone. |
What you said about coming out to other people, it's funny but in some ways I literally do feel in the closet even when it comes to my sexuality. I find myself identifying more with gay men than I do straight women. As for gender, yes I find it very confusing then again, there seems to be other women moreso from autism sites than on normal ones who from some degree relate. Perhaps part of it is our inability to conform or fake it like many NTs. I hope I'm not coming off to general, even NTs have this problem but when it comes to being socially different, it's hard enough to express myself but when there's other factors involved, it's practically impossible.
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Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | What you said about coming out to other people, it's funny but in some ways I literally do feel in the closet even when it comes to my sexuality. |
I feel in the closet about almost every aspect of myself. Because I am expected to be different than what I am.
| MissConstrue wrote: | | I find myself identifying more with gay men than I do straight women. |
I feel like this most of the time.
| MissConstrue wrote: | | I hope I'm not coming off to general, even NTs have this problem but when it comes to being socially different, it's hard enough to express myself but when there's other factors involved, it's practically impossible. |
Yeah, I feel similar. I find it difficult to really talk about myself anyway and gender is probably the most difficult part of me. ^^
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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sukilollipop
Emu Egg
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:03 pm Post subject: Re: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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| ScientistOfSound wrote: | What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles?
I consider my gender to be fluid. I have both male and female personality traits; and often have interests that are not specific to my gender, however I am comfortable with my physical appearance. I wouldn't be afraid to cross dress or anything like that, but I don't choose to. Anybody else like me? |
Is this because you don't relate to people who do feel comfortable with their gender role or you feel fluid between genders, or that you reject other people's identification with gender as well as your own gender? |
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ScientistOfSound
Hope I die before I get old
Joined: May 22, 2011
Age: 18
Posts: 1014
Location: In an evil testing facility
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:05 pm Post subject: Re: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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| sukilollipop wrote: | | ScientistOfSound wrote: | What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles?
I consider my gender to be fluid. I have both male and female personality traits; and often have interests that are not specific to my gender, however I am comfortable with my physical appearance. I wouldn't be afraid to cross dress or anything like that, but I don't choose to. Anybody else like me? |
Is this because you don't relate to people who do feel comfortable with their gender role or you feel fluid between genders, or that you reject other people's identification with gender as well as your own gender? |
It's because I refuse to be limited by something, I personally don't see why people should conform to roles anyway. I just like being me, Scientist is scientist. |
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Skilpadde
Honorary Chelonian
Joined: Dec 08, 2008
Posts: 1665
Location: In my mind
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 10:21 pm Post subject: Re: A person who rejects gender roles... |
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| ScientistOfSound wrote: | What would you call a person who is comfortable with their physical gender, but rejects gender roles?
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If female: feminist. If male: modern man.
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Not sure I would say that the dont conform to gender roles. |
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