ebec11
If only I could fly...
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 7029
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
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 Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:42 pm Post subject: Struggling to enjoy kisses? |
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I just don't like them. I feel like I have a lot of chemistry with my BF, but I hate the sensation. He's a snuggler, so I think I'll be good for at least the short term, but what guy wants a girl who hates kissing?
Does anybody relate? And could it get better after a while, I've tried like 6 times so far, and I just don't like it.
And I feel like I will be able to go farther, I think I just dislike this sensation, it's not an intimacy thing. |
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Nim
Depersonalized Aspie
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 3510
Location: Away
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:47 pm Post subject: Re: Struggling to enjoy kisses? |
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| ebec11 wrote: | I just don't like them. I feel like I have a lot of chemistry with my BF, but I hate the sensation. He's a snuggler, so I think I'll be good for at least the short term, but what guy wants a girl who hates kissing?
Does anybody relate? And could it get better after a while, I've tried like 6 times so far, and I just don't like it.
And I feel like I will be able to go farther, I think I just dislike this sensation, it's not an intimacy thing. |
What kind of kissing? I enjoy kissing on the neck (them kissing me).. but I fake enjoying kissing when it is on the mouth in anyway. Despite giving little kisses of affection on the lip I don't see much point in it. I've mentioned this before. "Making out" is a time intensive and an unwanted act, it gives me no pleasure and often leaves me sighing.
And to answer your question, no .. it has never got any better. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| I have this problem to my lips are very sensitive to the touch I have to make sure that I am ready for them to kiss me I hate kisses on the neck it tickles I do not like it when they kiss me when I dont expect them to. |
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oddness
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 20, 2011
Posts: 81
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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I have wondered about this same thing. To me kissing isnt nearly half as good as I though it would be in fact hugging feels more intimate to me. Kissing just seems like some thing to do to pass the time. Especially those "little affectionate kisses on the lips" I see no point to them whatsoever. I cant see why touching lips together briefly would give any more pleasure than touching little toes together. I must admit when someone puts their tongue in my mouth it does make me think of sex and so is a bit more likely to turn me on but on the whole I could take it or leave it.
I have read opinions from people on other sites who say you are with the wrong person or the other person is a really bad kisser if kissing isnt a magical experience, but I dont think I believe this. I don't think anything the other person did would make me like kissing any more than I do now. But I suppose only the future will tell me the answer to that.
Sorry I couldnt really help but you are not alone. |
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Gita
Blue Jay
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 82
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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| I totally hate being touched by anyone. I put up with it because I don't want to die alone. |
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richardbenson
my mirror shows black
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 14520
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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Kissing freaks me out. mostely because i'm worried about kissing someone with bad breath, i will do it however
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12512
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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| I find it weird, i do it anyways but i just dont get anything out of it |
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CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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I like kissing as in touching another person with my lips. However, french kissing is a complete mystery to me. I don't enjoy it and find it quite weird, if not to say gross. I also fail to see the point of mashing one's tongues together and exchanging saliva  My mouth is not an erogenous zone. |
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CrazyStarlightRedux
Fake Kiwi
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 1028
Location: Manchester, UK.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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Meh, I have no idea to be honest, the only girl I kissed properly didn;t take care of herself, and have horrible visions of how she felt every time I think about it, so I have no idea if it feels uncomfortable or not.
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CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Btw, can anybody enlighten me what people mean when they say someone is a good kisser? I really don't get what kind of skill it takes to wrestle with another person's tongue or lick their inner cheek. I mean, it's not as if we're talking about oral sex here. Kissing is a rather mundane and somewhat pointless activity. You never hear people say "he's great at holding hands" or "he's really skilled at putting his hand on my knee". What makes a so-called good kisser? |
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ebec11
If only I could fly...
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 7029
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| CrazyCatLord wrote: | | Btw, can anybody enlighten me what people mean when they say someone is a good kisser? I really don't get what kind of skill it takes to wrestle with another person's tongue or lick their inner cheek. I mean, it's not as if we're talking about oral sex here. Kissing is a rather mundane and somewhat pointless activity. You never hear people say "he's great at holding hands" or "he's really skilled at putting his hand on my knee". What makes a so-called good kisser? |
Maybe the absence of bad kissing signs, like being super slobbery and stuff? I dunno, I'm not really an expert here XD
I haven't even gotten to French kissing and making out and stuff, I'm still having problems with lip against lip. Thankfully my BF is super awesome and patient, and is willing to try to kiss in other places first that are less sensitives then my lips to get me used to the sensation. |
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blueroses
restless, but going nowhere
Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1599
Location: Lancaster, PA
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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Meh, I'm not big on kissing, either. A peck on the lips or a kiss on the neck is okay, but I really don't understand the appeal of open-mouthed kissing or 'wet' kisses.
OP, have you ever talked with your boyfriend about how you feel or your preferences? It might not hurt, so that he doesn't take it personally if you don't seem to be invested in it when he kisses you and so you don't have to do things you don't want to do all the time. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:43 am Post subject: |
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i have liked kissing with some people, and disliked it with other people. it depended a lot on my chemistry with each person. when it felt "right" i wanted to connect with them in every way possible and have even had kisses that lasted an hour or more (usually there was more going on at the same time). but with other people i wanted it to stop as soon as possible and sort of suffered through it for the other person's sake. i don't honestly know what made the difference, so i am just sort of calling it "chemistry".
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Zinnel
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 03, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Missouri, USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:06 am Post subject: |
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Lip sizes
style
breath
"chemistry"
all have an effect on whether or not people enjoy kissing
for some people its a deal breaker for others isn't not all that important
In truth it's just a learned response and in most cases if a girl or guy does not enjoy kissing someone it has more to do with how they kiss one another than to do with "incompatibility"
My suggestion talk to your boyfriend about it, cause honestly its not that big of deal and most people(hopefully) are willing to work at it so it's enjoyable for the both participants.
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ToughDiamond
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 16, 2008
Age: 60
Posts: 4751
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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| CrazyCatLord wrote: | | Btw, can anybody enlighten me what people mean when they say someone is a good kisser? I really don't get what kind of skill it takes to wrestle with another person's tongue or lick their inner cheek. I mean, it's not as if we're talking about oral sex here. Kissing is a rather mundane and somewhat pointless activity. You never hear people say "he's great at holding hands" or "he's really skilled at putting his hand on my knee". What makes a so-called good kisser? |
Ordinary, closed-mouth kissing is just a token of affection I think, not particularly pleasurable in its own right....I guess the pleasure comes from knowing that you've got a bond with somebody that makes it socially appropriate to kiss them.
The open-mouthed variety is more of a sexual thing......apparently the tongue is an erogenous zone, but I don't know much about its biological basis. I don't think other primates do anything of the sort. I've never particularly needed it myself, and once annoyed a new partner by keeping my tongue still for too long while it was in her mouth, so I guess you're supposed to waggle it about. I suppose a good kisser is somebody who makes you feel like sex when they kiss you in that way. I've felt some arousal that way, but I'm not a really big fan. |
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