analyser23
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 21, 2011
Posts: 433
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 Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:08 pm Post subject: Always misunderstood and don't understand others - help |
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Hi everyone
I feel like no matter what I do, how hard I try, how clear I am, everyone misunderstands me, including my partner. I have the best intentions, my actions come from my heart, I respect others and respect myself, but people always seem to get the wrong idea about me. They don't understand what I mean and then I can't work out why. My partner and I have lots of fights because he misunderstands me/I don't communicate properly.
People give me looks like I am strange, or assume I am stupid/crazy, etc, and get into debates with my over facebook. I know I might be a little different in the way I think and see the World, but I just put so much effort into explaining what I mean, who I am, what I want, how I feel...
I want to fix this.... But I don't know what I am doing wrong. How can I fix this if I just don't understand what I do wrong? People all seem to get upset due to me.
Perhaps I am being a little extreme with my absolutes of "everyone" and "all" here, but it is just how it feels sometimes. People seem to feel attacked by me, or disrespected. I don't get it when I go to such efforts to do the opposite.
How do you fix something when you don't know exactly what the problem is?
Thanks
Liz
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"Reality is an illusion of the construct of our brains"
"They cannot take away our Self Respect if we do not give it to them" - Gandhi
http://www.facebook.com/TheAspieCoach (Life Coaching for Aspies) |
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PM
Lord Badgerchops
Joined: Oct 15, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 1433
Location: Southeastern United States
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe tell your partner that you have difficulty with communication, and he would probably help you with it. Also, if debates on Facebook are causing you stress, avoid the people that like to debate you.
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Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? |
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analyser23
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 21, 2011
Posts: 433
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| PM wrote: | | Maybe tell your partner that you have difficulty with communication, and he would probably help you with it. Also, if debates on Facebook are causing you stress, avoid the people that like to debate you. |
Thanks for your help. I have told my partner - he knows all about it and all about me, yet still doesn't understand me  And I misunderstand him a lot too and get things wrong. I just am not a good mindreader
Good advice about facebook - sometimes I just cant help keep my opinion to myself because I feel like by expressing myself might help others, but I guess I should just avoid it. True.
_________________
"Reality is an illusion of the construct of our brains"
"They cannot take away our Self Respect if we do not give it to them" - Gandhi
http://www.facebook.com/TheAspieCoach (Life Coaching for Aspies) |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:06 am Post subject: Misunderstood |
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| Nobody is a mind reader, but some people are better at reading body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and conversational nuances, than others are. We on the spectrum tend to be weak in this area, so ask family and friends what you are saying or doing that is ticking them off. |
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YellowBanana
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 15, 2011
Posts: 923
Location: mostly, in my head.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:29 am Post subject: Re: Always misunderstood and don't understand others - help |
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| analyser23 wrote: | Perhaps I am being a little extreme with my absolutes of "everyone" and "all" here, but it is just how it feels sometimes. People seem to feel attacked by me, or disrespected. I don't get it when I go to such efforts to do the opposite.
How do you fix something when you don't know exactly what the problem is? |
Unfortunately I can't help you. Your post looks like something I have wanted to write on many occasions, and especially right now. When you figure out the answer, let me know. Unfortunately, you are not alone.
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Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx EDD/BPD |
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