sydeetoes
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 19, 2010
Posts: 16
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 Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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| The-Raven wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | There has to be some physical attraction, surely? |
quite a lot of people find someone attractive because they like them, not the other way round. |
there was a study about this not too long ago. it was saying that knowing a person is interested in you tends to increase your attraction to them. it doesn't work that way all the time. i get approached sometimes by guys i'm not interested in at all. other times maybe a person being flirtacious with me will increase the amount of attraction i have to them...so a minor crush can turn into a major one. only speaking for myself here but i tend to pick from men who express interest in me first...wether it be verbal or nonverbal cues. i tend to go for unconventionally attractive guys who are SMART. i definitely don't expect physical perfection...mainly because that's such a fluid trait of a person...it changes over time in everyone. but the way a person speaks and moves, how eloquent they are, and their general demeanor in most cases stays more constant. that's how you know if you're truly compatable. like they say, it's not how you feel about someone, it's how they make YOU feel. they can be a supermodel but if they have no compassion or are dishonest it's a dealbreaker for me. |
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Embroglio
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 27, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 185
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| Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | And the presentation doesn't play a part? I don't believe that. |
Presentation is only a shell, it doesn't define a person or make them who they are. |
Presentation does play a role in attractiveness. I've had female friends tell me I'd be really hot if I cared more about my appearance than I currently do. Things like dressing decently (That means no baggy jeans and t-shirt), hair not being everywhere, shaving or having neatly trimmed facial hair. Presentation plays a role in things other than attractiveness too. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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| The-Raven wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | There has to be some physical attraction, surely? |
quite a lot of people find someone attractive because they like them, not the other way round. |
THIS THIS THIS.
i don't even have crushes on famous people because of looks, i like their personalities (the part i can divine from interviews or articles, so it's incomplete - hence why i rarely crush on celebrities)
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CaptainTrips222
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 3020
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| Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | The-Raven wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | There has to be some physical attraction, surely? |
quite a lot of people find someone attractive because they like them, not the other way round. |
THIS THIS THIS.
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THAT THAT THAT
I just wanted to do that. But yeah, sometimes I can feel attracted because of someone's wit or personality. Those are the people I get a bad crush on. |
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Kiseki
I just ran out of Band-Aids
Joined: May 30, 2010
Age: 33
Posts: 1604
Location: Osaka JP
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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To an extent. I like cute people, but personality is so much more important. Also a connection is first and foremost for me. I tend to just like cute girls who are funny and bold. I feel really intimidated by beautiful people. I also like unconventional-looking folks.
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Keeno
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 09, 2006
Posts: 4948
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Out of the people at the autism centre I attend who have stable long term relationships are concerned, looks are definitely a noticeable factor in those guys who've been able to attain such a relationship. |
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mds_02
Skank
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 1948
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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| CaptainTrips222 wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | The-Raven wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | There has to be some physical attraction, surely? |
quite a lot of people find someone attractive because they like them, not the other way round. |
THIS THIS THIS.
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THAT THAT THAT
I just wanted to do that. But yeah, sometimes I can feel attracted because of someone's wit or personality. Those are the people I get a bad crush on. |
I agree with this. In some cases. But, for me, the reverse is more common. I'll start attributing positive personality traits that the person doesn't actually have, just because I am attracted to them. That habit has put me in some pretty negative situations in the past.
Oops, I think I just let on how shallow I can be. |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| It's not shallow. |
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mds_02
Skank
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 1948
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | It's not shallow. |
Thinking someone's a better person than they are, just because I think they're hot? Sounds like the very definition of shallow to me.
I think the fact that I recognize that tendency, and try to work against it, saves me from being a shallow person. But I do definitely have some shallow traits. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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i think everyone has ways in which they are shallow, but identifying those areas and seeking to fix them can reverse that tendency. not one of us is perfect.
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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| mds_02 wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | It's not shallow. |
Thinking someone's a better person than they are, just because I think they're hot? Sounds like the very definition of shallow to me.
I think the fact that I recognize that tendency, and try to work against it, saves me from being a shallow person. But I do definitely have some shallow traits. |
You can think what you like, that's not what I meant. You're either attracted to someone on a physical level or you're not, it's an essential part of any sexual or romantic relationship. If you think otherwise, you're kidding yourself. |
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mds_02
Skank
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 1948
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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| ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | mds_02 wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | It's not shallow. |
Thinking someone's a better person than they are, just because I think they're hot? Sounds like the very definition of shallow to me.
I think the fact that I recognize that tendency, and try to work against it, saves me from being a shallow person. But I do definitely have some shallow traits. |
You can think what you like, that's not what I meant. You're either attracted to someone on a physical level or you're not, it's an essential part of any sexual or romantic relationship. If you think otherwise, you're kidding yourself. |
I agree that it is essential to a romantic relationship. For me, although physical attraction is not the most important thing, it does come first. Attraction is what makes me pursue a woman in the first place, it is other personality traits that decide whether I will create/maintain a relationship once I've got her attention.
However, that tendency to misjudge people due to my attraction to them is taking it too far. |
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Boxman108
"Oh...it's just a box."
Joined: Jan 03, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 1394
Location: NH
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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Judging others by how they look would be the same as deciding to date someone based on whether they're NT or not. You can't get to know someone just by looking at them. It is shallow and it becomes prejudice.
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:05 am Post subject: |
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| Boxman108 wrote: | | Judging others by how they look would be the same as deciding to date someone based on whether they're NT or not. You can't get to know someone just by looking at them. It is shallow and it becomes prejudice. |
yes. interestingly, the more people get to know each other, the more or less attractive they appear based on personality traits.
in this study, it was found that personality had a strong influence on how attractive a person was considered to be:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/11/071129145852.htm
in another study (lost the link), a random group of people rated each other before and after getting to know each other extensively doing a group task. i believe a female who was rated as a 3/10 before the group work was rated as a 7/10 afterward because she has a nice personality. and the converse happened with another female.
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:08 am Post subject: |
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I'm not saying it's the sole reason for deciding to 'date' someone, what I am saying is, it's ridiculous to suggest that physical attraction doesn't play any part at all and that a person is somehow shallow for suggesting that it does.
Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:11 am; edited 1 time in total |
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