LabPet
alchemist
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4038
Location: UK
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 Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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| CaptainTrips222 wrote: | | Zexion wrote: | | I have had teachers who knew that I was being bullied by the whole class and that I had low self esteem and they made fun of me infront of the class and I have never had a teacher who gave a monkeys about me being bullied. |
God that's horrible. I had a few teachers bully me too. F**king scum of the Earth. |
Yes, that's just unspeakably cruel. I do know what that's like  So sorry, Zexion - you sure deserved better.
Surfman, awesome picture 
I think, in sum, that our (aka Aspie) definition of friend is more true & accurate. Really, those 'friends' of bullies don't meet the criteria. Therefore, we're comparing apples to oranges, if you know what I mean. There is an element of dominance/submission for them, isn't there? Like a weird dominatrix relationship.
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"Barn's burnt down, now I can see the moon." - Masahide, circa 1700. Haiku poetry. |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5907
Location: Mountain View, California, United States
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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because they get the idea that hanging out with the bullies makes them less likely the target of being bullied themselves and the false idea that they are cool.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? http://www.anime44.com/anime-list |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13512
Location: My house
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Goodness, if I knew in my childhood that being a bully makes kids afraid of you so they be your friend, I may have tried and to be the worst bully as possible so everyone be afraid of me and be my friend. But I bet that would have also failed just like me bullying didn't make kids think I was cool and not stupid and think I was just as good as them so bam they all like me and accept me and be my friend and stop making fun of me. |
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WildMan
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 05, 2006
Posts: 338
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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| See, there's pathological bullies who devote much of their time and energy to messing with 'easy targets.' Then there's the kids who every once in a while mess with 'easy targets' as something of an amusing diversion but don't put nearly so much time and energy into it, and there isn't really a complicated psychological explanation for it other than that they have higher status than you and they derive pleasure from abusing that higher status at your expense. I think the second type are more common. |
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Fraser1990
Hummingbird
Joined: Mar 12, 2012
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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It's not friendship, its fear of social rejection.
As the posters above me say, they feel less likely to be targeted by taking the bullies side.
But if you can show people that you're brave and willing to stand up for yourself, people will start siding with you.
As a general rule in the social ladder:
Self respecting person > Bully > A push over
Self respecting people are at the top of the ladder. |
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chtucker18
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 01, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 151
Location: Laurel, Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| fear |
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AnOldHFA
Raven
Joined: Oct 15, 2011
Age: 49
Posts: 116
Location: USA - Lost
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 7:58 pm Post subject: Re: Why do bullies have so many friends? |
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When I was in my late teens and early twenites I belived in keeping friends close and my enemies (bullies) closer. That way I would better know what they were up to and I could warn others. That would make me a bullie to the bullie. Then they would want to keep me close... It was kind of funny at the time.
So, those who didn't know me, it would have looked like I was a bullies friend..
I have known others who did the same. |
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Surfman
beyond human
Joined: Aug 02, 2010
Age: 50
Posts: 3938
Location: Homeward bound
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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They can be charming, and generous too. Bullies I have known, buy friends with a generosity of spirit, and invite followers to dinner.....Then once your hooked into their charm, they then feel satiated, and diss enemies to you in the hope you will side with them. Aspies dont fall for their charm (shtick), or hate the bullies enemies, and this upsets them.
As George Bush once said after 9/11:
*********if you are not with us, you are against us********************
Smiling is showing teeth, and in the animal kingdom, when a mouth opens, or a tail goes up, it means, look at my teeth, look at my size....... be wary of me
We see it here on WP sometimes, so aspies can be bullies too.
The world is full of gangs. We are the aspie gang. Dont f**k with us or else ( i will throw my toys at you  ) |
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ADoyle90815
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 17, 2011
Age: 37
Posts: 325
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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| AspieOtaku wrote: | | because they get the idea that hanging out with the bullies makes them less likely the target of being bullied themselves and the false idea that they are cool. |
That's true, in my case when I was in college, a former bully apologized and said he felt awful about how he treated me back in elementary school. I realized that this person only participated in the bullying out of fear of becoming a target of bullying. As a result, I was able to forgive that person. |
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Selena
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 10, 2012
Posts: 63
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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| People admire strength and mistake cruelty for strength. Bullies are perceived as powerful and people want to be their friends. Also, it's one of those self-perpetuating NT lemming situations--bullies become popular because some people see them as strong, then other other people emulate the first circle of bully admirers. |
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