DevilKisses
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 04, 2010
Posts: 179
Location: Canada
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 Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:32 am Post subject: How do you make friends? |
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I've tried "friendly small talk", social skill groups and "being myself." None of that seems to work! I never know what to talk about once I an barely get past asking what's up. A lot of times I get tempted to talk about my lame obsessions, but I know I'll get carried away and bore the other person to death or just make a fool of myself. I'm homeschooled right now. I couldn't make friends at my school anyways. I also don't feel like I belong in the autism community. That's why I don't post much on wrong planet.
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:46 am Post subject: |
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Maybe joining a class or a sports club might help, If you have a mutual interest, there is more cause for a friendship as opposed to simply walking up to someone and having a random chat.
Of course you belong here and I hope you don't feel uncomfortable posting here.  |
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enrico_dandolo
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 21, 2011
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:27 am Post subject: |
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| I don't really know either, but I made many friends through internet fora like this one. Maybe if you could find one are one of your interests, you could meet someone who would also like to talk about it? I don't know, it's what happened with me and, er... all my current friendly acquaintances, actually. |
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TheDarkMage
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 21, 2012
Posts: 418
Location: united kingdom
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:11 am Post subject: |
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i wish somebody would tell me as well. i havent had friends for about 12 years.
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https://twitter.com/mageoftakhisis |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6250
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:19 am Post subject: |
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| I'm usually drawn to people who are either very similar to me or are the overly nice, motherly type of person. I usually just approach them and if we get along it kind of goes along from there. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1071
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:02 pm Post subject: Re: How do you make friends? |
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| DevilKisses wrote: | | I've tried "friendly small talk", social skill groups and "being myself." None of that seems to work! I never know what to talk about once I an barely get past asking what's up. A lot of times I get tempted to talk about my lame obsessions, but I know I'll get carried away and bore the other person to death or just make a fool of myself. I'm homeschooled right now. I couldn't make friends at my school anyways. I also don't feel like I belong in the autism community. That's why I don't post much on wrong planet. |
You don't just label somebody a friend. A friend is someone that you feel comfortable doing things with.
Do you know what "comfort" is?
I didn't realize until maybe a few months ago.
If you feel nervous or anxious or start sweating, even, that means you're not comfortable, and probably the other person isn't either.
If you see people a bunch of different places, it'll come easier.
Join community groups and lessons. It's a lot easier, also, if you went to a school.
GO TO CHURCH TOO! !XD
Get a job.
Etc.
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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Jean_Descole
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 11, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 52
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Find a group that resonates with you. For me, I spent my first semester in college floundering around trying to make friends through the usual be yourself and small talk, and it never worked. I was just too different that it was hard for me to connect to most people. I eventually found most of my friends through a club that is more on the geeky side of things. It was the environment that really pushed me forward, and not so much forcing myself to meet new people. |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1840
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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i am able to befriend only people who are just like me very quite, depressed etc
mostly extroverts avoid me and smart people find me dull
keep talking with many people around you, sit outside the house during evenings you may find someone who will start talking with you
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14794
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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Similar interests more or less for the most part..though sometimes that does not work out too well.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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MjrMajorMajor
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 16, 2012
Age: 37
Posts: 2981
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I make friends almost as fast as glaciers slice through the Earth. |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2093
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:36 pm Post subject: |
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Similar loves and clubs are what have worked for me. All my friends enjoy witty banter and dirty humor equally and have an interesting in alternative metal.
Then there's Warhammer club...that has helped greatly.
Finding friends overall is a pain. Luckily 3 usually suffices for any given situation.
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My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos
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Uprising
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 10, 2012
Posts: 2917
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh over here it's simple, you just have to rant about everything government-related and the country's absurdism. |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9726
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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Most all the offline friends I had were people I worked with & we weren't really friends for a long while because I was very focused on doing my job
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For info about where I've been & what's up with me check this post~
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dustyrose
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 13, 2012
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:14 am Post subject: |
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Not that I'm an expert at friend-making, but from my experience success is much more likely if you see the person regularly- (in school, residence, at a club, etc) and often, for a long period of time.
For me, if it's not often enough (eg. classes that are only for an hour once a week), people have outside lives and won't attribute much importance to you or the situation in which they know you.
If it's not for a long enough period of time (eg. a semester in university is only 3.5 months), it's easy to lose contact with people and never see them again, much less actually get to know them.
Edt: this post is biased by my tendency to wait until the other person seems to consider me a friend... |
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