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Ddddd
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 380
Location: Belgium
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 Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:28 pm Post subject: What was your childhood like? |
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When were you diagnosed? If after 18/undiagnosed, how did this affect your childhood?
Did you have a lot of problems as a child/teenager?
A more specific question: did you have more male friends? And preferred male toys/disliked dolls etc.?
Pretend play? Imaginary friends? Bullying? How were you in class? How did your parents act on your behavior?
+ Any stories you want to tell about your childhood (preferably AS-related, but other stories are good too)...
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ADD :: yay for neurodiversity
rdos aspie score: 142 |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:35 pm Post subject: Re: What was your childhood like? |
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I still have not been diagnosed...but yes I tend to have more male friends, when I was growing up I really did not have friends at all, except one year and most of them were guys. I was usually the outcast got bullied by the boys and other girls in middle school and high school it was more girls but still both. I did not have imaginary friends sometimes I would get carried away in my own little world when playing alone.
In class I did alright on the work, was especially good at reading/writing......but apparently my mind wandered too much, or I looked like I was spacing out and not paying attention so teachers thought there was something wrong with me and I should be on meds, even though I got decent grades. All and all I would say my childhood was not very pleasant and contributed to a lot of issues I have.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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pete_dystopia
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 09, 2012
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:59 pm Post subject: Re: What was your childhood like? |
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Not diagnosed, but think I have it.
I was very quiet and withdrawn as a child, mum says 'never knew we had him', although apparently I was prone to wandering off. I wasn't being naughty but just wanted to explore and so when out I had to have 'reigns' to stop me wandering off. There is a family picture at the beach when I was a toddler everyone is stood together and I am half way across the beach already. I loved books and learning but hated school, hated sports, early on in primary school I don't think I had any friends at all, i just used to walk round the edge of the playground whilst the rest played football. I remember there was a tree i liked away from the playground and I used to wander round it humming. I don't think I had imaginary friends, but would talk to myself. I would also go to the edge of the school grounds where we weren't supposed to go to be alone. I liked solitude. I remember being told many times by different teachers that our class (in primary school) was the worse class the school had ever had. Lots of kids with behavioural issues, hyperactivity, etc, the quieter kids got ignored as the teachers were trying to deal with the unruly kids all the time. Got bullied/teased a fair bit in secondary school, a lot had to do with being skinny, though I guess looking back I never really knew what to say socially a lot of the time or how to respond to the teasing which didn't help. Sex/sexuality was and still is a total mystery to me. I gradually became more and more studious, hung out in the library, was friends with a few of the 'geeks' but didnt really fit in with them either. I was full of anger and self-pity by the end of it all, got some ok grades, good enough to get into university. It took a long time to get over the bullying/teasing. I won't say I didn't have a good childhood as there were many happy times, loving parents but it was difficult |
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dizzywater
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 04, 2012
Posts: 194
Location: sitting by the computer
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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At the age of 42 I see no advantage to getting a diagnosis, I'd be obliged to tell complete strangers if I did that, as well as paying higher insurance premiums.
Online tests very strongly indicate what I suspected from childhood.
Before age 10 I had no friends. In the school playground I could see that the other children seemed to have a lot of fun doing the things they were doing, so I would go stand nearby wondering how to get involved, but didn't have any idea of how to get them to play with me, so I'd go play with something on my own or read a book or just wait for the bell. I preferred the classes because I found learning easy.
Age 10 a girl decided I was to be her best friend, I did prefer that to being always left out, she knew how to get the other children to play with us and I liked it. She dumped me after a while for being "immature" so I made another friend, once I had practice I could do it! I'm still not good at it though.
I always had trouble seeing my classmates as individuals, I still have that problem, I see a group of people as somehow "one" having a collective thought process. They do seem to all know stuff I don't (and don't know stuff I do). As an adult I do know that it is part gossip, part body language and part my imagination!
Earlier than that my mum says I didn't cry as a baby or talk as a young child, but I understood instructions so she didn't worry. My hearing tested normal.
I was a good child, but that must be in part because my mum allowed me my oddities. I wasn't made to wear hairclips or new clothes like the other girls. She carefully cut labels off my clothes and didn't make me do anything much, I suspect she may be on the spectrum too and was sensitive to many of the same sensory annoyances. I would arrange and rearrange my teddies a lot, I also remember making tiny models of everything. I read and reread the same books until they fell apart, I still do! We seldom had visitors which was good.
I didn't like my dad much because he would make me leave what I was doing before I was ready and would tell me to talk to people when I didn't want to, then tell me to be quiet when I did want to talk. He thought I was odd with my head always tilted to one side (I never saw evidence of this, but it was commented on by teachers too).
After their divorce he bought a rat alarm for his house, I always asked him to turn it off, he always said it was inaudible to the human ear and wouldn't believe me that it hurt my ears. His wife said I must be a rat and was a total b***h to me. She was a bully of the first degree and I was a gift for her to torment. She once locked me in the basement with the rat alarm on, but it may have been accidental because I did hide a lot when I was with them and the alarm was on a timer. She said it was accidental, except the basement was never normally locked.
Its hard to seperate the relavent AS stuff from the rest, but I am sure that is why they didn't like me. I said so little, ate so little, did so little when in their house, that I think I just creeped them out.
I always had more male friends, I am more relaxed with them and they seem much friendlier than females are to me. I can never maintain more than one female friendship at a time, sometimes even one is a task to keep it going.
My mum also says I often just sat doing nothing at all, if she asked why then I'd say I was just thinking and continue the way I had been.
I didn't have imaginary friends, I was very attached to my possessions though and losing them was like a death to me.
All my life I've been told by so many random people that I'm "in a world of my own" when it simply isn't true, I am very much here and very much aware of it.
I first asked if I had autism after seeing a film of a boy with it when I was 11 or 12.
I was told no, I didn't.
One more thing, after I got married my husband assumed ownership of all my woodcrafting tools & drills, saws etc, I think we almost divorced before he accepted that my "boys' toys" were still mine! I had no idea what to do with an iron though (except a soldering iron  ).
Specific questions;
Never had a doll, only teddies & other stuffed animals.
Always wanted & asked for boys toys but never got them because I'm a girl and "didn't really want them"
Never bullied in school, nor was anyone else in the schools I went to.
In class I was very quiet & very bright, never put my hand up but knew the answers. Refused to use colours in art when younger, top of class in art when older.
Pretend play, not keen on it, if included I always was given the worst parts by the other children so didn't bother much.
As a teenager, that's another story, ran away from home.
Now a question for you, Ddddd, why are you asking? |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 7:13 pm Post subject: Re: What was your childhood like? |
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| pete_dystopia wrote: | Not diagnosed, but think I have it.
I was very quiet and withdrawn as a child, mum says 'never knew we had him', although apparently I was prone to wandering off. I wasn't being naughty but just wanted to explore and so when out I had to have 'reigns' to stop me wandering off. There is a family picture at the beach when I was a toddler everyone is stood together and I am half way across the beach already. I loved books and learning but hated school, hated sports, early on in primary school I don't think I had any friends at all, i just used to walk round the edge of the playground whilst the rest played football. I remember there was a tree i liked away from the playground and I used to wander round it humming. I don't think I had imaginary friends, but would talk to myself. I would also go to the edge of the school grounds where we weren't supposed to go to be alone. I liked solitude. I remember being told many times by different teachers that our class (in primary school) was the worse class the school had ever had. Lots of kids with behavioural issues, hyperactivity, etc, the quieter kids got ignored as the teachers were trying to deal with the unruly kids all the time. Got bullied/teased a fair bit in secondary school, a lot had to do with being skinny, though I guess looking back I never really knew what to say socially a lot of the time or how to respond to the teasing which didn't help. Sex/sexuality was and still is a total mystery to me. I gradually became more and more studious, hung out in the library, was friends with a few of the 'geeks' but didnt really fit in with them either. I was full of anger and self-pity by the end of it all, got some ok grades, good enough to get into university. It took a long time to get over the bullying/teasing. I won't say I didn't have a good childhood as there were many happy times, loving parents but it was difficult |
hmm I can relate to a lot of that as well...I was quiet like that as well and quite a few instances of wandering off and such, I never got lost though. When I was like 4 I would get up early every morning and go outside into the little garden we had to pick and eat vegetables and if my dad had any food out for his lunch I would eat some of that before going outside. School was kind of similar to what you described for me....but yeah I haven't really been able to get over much of the bullying I internalize things a lot so that's part of it.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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dizzywater
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 04, 2012
Posts: 194
Location: sitting by the computer
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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Forgot to say what I wanted to be;
a cat,
I was very envious of our cat  |
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Ddddd
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 380
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:42 am Post subject: |
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I've always been told that I was/am weird, and I wondered if my childhood is 'normal' on WrongPlanet, so I wanted to compare
_________________
ADD :: yay for neurodiversity
rdos aspie score: 142 |
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Gita
Blue Jay
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 82
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:38 pm Post subject: My life in a nut shell |
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Honesty and confessions:
I am pretty old, so the times are not recent, but really it is the same old stuff.
I had no friends during grade school except my step cousin. We'd read "Tiger Beat," and play records, and giggle about girl stuff. She was so much prettier than I was, and more socially adept. Some times she was my life. In about the 3rd grade Kids at the grade school threw rocks at me and called me arrogant, stupid, and all kinds of things. During recess I would sit by myself and try to be unseen. I would not go into the bathroom where people would laugh at me. I was horribly awkward, dreadfully shy. When ever I ran I fell. My knees were always skinned and scabby. I was shuttled off to the corner of the room and no one ever talked to me. (About 1969) I loved animals and books. That's it.
One day I walked down our street to cross a ditch at the end and look at some horses. The ranchers saw me and shot me with rock salt. I was wearing a pretty Scandinavian costume, had blond hair. Another time, a man sicced a dog on me. My step sister happened to be in a car and saw this and picked me up. We went to the hospital because the dog broke skin. People are jerks. I was very "autistic," except when I was doing art. I would stare at things for hours. I think I woke up at about the end of the 3rd grade. I went through fourth & fifth at another school. I began to have more sense of surroundings then. (Early 70's)
My parents were used to "nannies" so I did not see much of them. I usually saw my mother around dinner time when she had the girls help with dinner. I saw my father around once a week. After that, it was in our rooms or outside. We were allowed in the living room only with permission, for special occasions. We went to church on Sunday. My brothers were Alter Boys for a Priest who ended up in trouble for Pedophilia. My new step mother always tried to dress me like a little doll, which I hated. She had me "perm" my hair into tight little ringlets. It was awful. I have clear Ice blue eyes and I look kind of like little orphan Annie's dog. You know, with an empty stare. People take one look at me and think "she's really stupid."
I was raped at 14 years old while at my step sister's wedding. I was lured into a van and taken to his apartment. I never said anything. I withdrew totally, except for art and my studies. I loved Shakespeare, and I read at a high level, but I could barely do math. I loved ancient history, and mythology. I wrote poems and drew. My lonesomeness was beautiful, and very productive. I loved being away from the screams and demands of my brothers, sister, and parents. (mid 70's)
In High School, we weren't allowed to date, or drive. My father had remarried but by the 11th grade the marriage was crumbling. He drank a lot and began to hit her. (Same as my real mom). He went crazy a few times. My grades were awful. In the 11th grade, I was sent off to an orphanage while my dad went to the nuthouse to cool off. My step mother left the house to live in a trailer, and my father started to beat us. He would have us all line up and would beat us with a belt one after the other.
I did have imaginary friends. My sister and I did things like starting a (Witch) coven, and trying to use magic and psychic powers. I was more into this than Star Trek. Everyone in the family was Trekkie, and SF crazy. Many years later I still am involved with Wicca, but I have dropped the Science Fiction.
High school:
(For those who are younger here, this was the late 1970's) I used to run a certain illegal leafy herb for a local girl who sold it in the girls room. She took advantage of me because I was considered "stupid." I used to hang out with the "freaks." smoking under the trees on the quad. I also hung out in the art room. I got some instruction from an art teacher who later became a famous artist, and that has actually helped me in my career. I took early classes at 7 am, and late classes after school and graduated High School at the age of 16. At the final assembly I got all sorts of art awards including 2 literature awards. Everyone was quite surprised because I was a person who looked like she couldn't do anything.
After a lifetime of getting D's and F's in everything, I made A's and B's in 12th grade, and suddenly I went to college at 17. I became brilliant over night. It was like the child who cannot walk and everyone fears is backward, suddenly making a huge leap forward. That was the way I was. Unable to speak, then speaking in full sentences. It was strange. I had this moment as though I had been hit on the head. I had never prepared myself for college. I lasted a year (I went back years later and floated through. College was too easy). Meanwhile back at 17, College was way too scary and I wasn't ready. I learned a lot about Courage. I learned how to step into situations you are not prepared for, and make the best of them. (early 80's)
At 18 I went to the army. College was too much. I had no idea what to do and decided to sit out a few years. At 22 I became an artist, and lived that way for about 7 years. I worked with another artist, and we produced large sculpture, some bronze some fiberglass. I went to many locations to work, in the US, and internationally. I liked the job because I never had to talk to anyone. I was such a loner. I never had many friends. I just didn't seek friends. I didn't feel the need for people. I am still an active artist, and am now making bronze sculpture, but smaller. I like bronze because it involves an ancient mastery over fire. It is so awe inspiring melting and pouring hot metal. (Mid 80's to Present). I do other work for money, but art, and bronze casting are where my heart is.
Strangely, I am happy. I have some issues with a lack of friends, and with jobs, but I am pretty content otherwise.
"Blessed Be" if any fellow Wiccans are reading this.
"Live Long And Prosper" to any Trekkies.
Katy |
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MagicMeerkat
meerkat
Joined: Jun 12, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 1347
Location: Kalahari Desert
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Hell.
_________________
"So for all of you with the courage to stand up and say "I am me, screw you, World if you don't like it!" Here's to you!
-Erik Sprague
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Gita
Blue Jay
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 82
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| MagicMeerkat wrote: | | Hell. |
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IdahoRose
Imaginary Friend
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Joined: Feb 25, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 18651
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:00 pm Post subject: Re: What was your childhood like? |
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| Ddddd wrote: | When were you diagnosed? If after 18/undiagnosed, how did this affect your childhood?
Did you have a lot of problems as a child/teenager?
A more specific question: did you have more male friends? And preferred male toys/disliked dolls etc.?
Pretend play? Imaginary friends? Bullying? How were you in class? How did your parents act on your behavior?
+ Any stories you want to tell about your childhood (preferably AS-related, but other stories are good too)... |
I was diagnosed in May of 2006, at the age of 15.
Oh yes, I had a lot of problems. I had my first panic attack at the age of 3, and started developing symptoms of OCD at age 7. Both issues got to be so bad that by the time I was 14, I needed to be put on medication for them. I was also very depressed as a teenager and self-harmed several times. I've struggled with insomnia for as long as I can remember, though my medication does help with it.
During my childhood all of my friends were female. Then when I was a teenager, almost all of my friends were male. Now about half of my friends are male and half are female. My mom says that when it came to dress and play, I've always been androgynous - I was just as comfortable playing with toy dinosaurs in the mud as I was playing dress-up with dolls.
Pretend play - During my toddler years, I played pretend with my mom and older sister. I would like roleplaying as characters from my favorite cartoons. Interestingly, I always wanted to be the male characters and made my mom or sister be the female characters. During my childhood, I played pretend with my younger brother. We would have cartoonish "battles" with our imaginary friends. We also played a game involving our collection of plush toys, centered around a family of wolves and their interactions with other plush toys. I sometimes attempted to play pretend with my friends at school where we would pretend to be a wolf pack, but I would always wind up becoming frustrated and leave.
Imaginary friends - I've had imaginary friends every year since the age of 5. My imaginary friends are always my favorite fictional characters taken from whatever shows/movies I'm obsessed with at a given time. I think of them as my companions and guardians, there to celebrate with me during the good times and comfort me during the bad. Although I consider myself to be a Christian and worship a single God, both my mom and a former psychologist have commented that there seems to be a spiritual element to my relationship with my imaginary friends, which I can't deny.
Bullying - I was bullied badly during my childhood and a little during my teenage years, but for the most part other teens simply ignored me.
In class - I was a "teacher's pet", always on my best behavior and trying my best on every assignment. While most other students either hated or ignored me, my teachers universally adored me.
How my parents reacted to my behavior - Both of my parents agree that I was a "good girl". But when it came to my struggles with mental illnesses, they were different. My dad either thought I was being stubborn/rebellious or had learned the behavior from family members who had lived with us for some time. He frequently lost his temper with me and, while never cruel or abusive, intimidated me. My mom took pity on me and became frustrated that she couldn't make it all better for me. Ever since I was diagnosed with Asperger's, my relationship with my dad has improved significantly since he now understands that I didn't rebel against him or copy the behavior of our relatives. He seems sad that I never share my feelings with him like I do with my mom, but I don't trust him not to lose his temper with me or tell me that my feelings are wrong. My relationship with my mom is very close. She still pities me though. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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melmaclorelai
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Posts: 48
Location: On a cloud.
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:02 am Post subject: |
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When were you diagnosed? If after 18/undiagnosed, how did this affect your childhood?
I'm self-diagnosed at the moment and not sure if I'll ever get a proper one. In hindsight, the only difference I can tell is that I can look back on my childhood and feel gypped that nobody ever tried to understand or think about the reason why I was the way I was, in terms of social skills and personality.
Did you have a lot of problems as a child/teenager? As a child, I had an extremely cautious, anxious, highly-strung, sensitive, quiet and shy personality. I didn't want to make noise in front of people for fear of annoying them (my biological mother drilled that into me) and because I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. I hated to try new things and I liked to be by myself. I don't feel like this was a problem persay. but it did cause me some grief. People just couldn't accept the way I was and I was always being pushed and encouraged to change. And when I didn't respond to that, it was thought that I was just being obstinate and that punishment would sort me out. And when that didn't work. I was told I was just a rotten person by a lot of people.
I also had seperation anxiety regarding my biological father as a young child. He was only allowed to see me on weekends (courtesy of mother dearest  ) and without failure, every single week, on the Monday, Tuesday and sometimes Wednesday I would be throwing up, having a headache and crying hysterically. Everybody thought this was just me trying to get out of going to school. And my biological father was never informed of it, because my biological mother wanted to prove to everybody she could look after me herself. (Well, she failed).
As a teenager, the main issue I had was depression. I moved in with my biological father when I was 12 and I never wanted to see my biological mother again. She was abusive to me in more ways than one and I hadn't thought of her as a mother in years. But he basically forced me to see her and wouldn't take no for an answer, because he believed I "needed" a relationship with her. That coupled along with the fact that we argued a lot, that I had lost interest in school, that I had been rejected by a lot of people and that I was considered too immature to be an adult were the main reasons. I contemplated suicide a few times and did self-harm on a regular basis.
I'm definetly not depressed in that sense anymore and although my biological father and I still argue a lot, none of those other problems exist for me anymore. I'm happily estranged from my biological mother and have been for nearly three years.
A more specific question: did you have more male friends? And preferred male toys/disliked dolls etc.? Not in primary school or kindergarten. In high school, yes. Until they all changed schools or dropped out completley.
I did have a pretty large collection of Barbies as child, but I never really played games with them. I mostly just dressed them up. I never got to play with male toys, because they were never around. My favourite thing to do as a child was read.
I'm not the 'girliest' person in the world and I prefer to think of myself as genderless. But there are masculine and feminine influences in my life.
[b]Pretend play? Imaginary friends? Bullying? How were you in class? How did your parents act on your behavior? [/b]
My idea of "pretend play" was making up stories and characters in my head. Sometimes I'd write them down, but most of the time these ideas stayed in my head and I played around with them a lot. I wasn't one to dress up and pretend that I was this or that.
I had a couple of imaginary friends as a child, but I didn't keep them around for very long. Now that I'm older, I feel like some of the characters I make up are imaginary friends of sorts. I feel a spiritual connection to some of them, even though they're not real.
I got bullied a lot in my younger years. I went to a really awful primary school in a really awful area where everybody was tough and if you weren't, you were eaten alive. I was an easy target because I was shy and would never fight back or stand up for myself. I was also a little overweight and I had a surname that people loved to make fun of. In high school, I got bullied a bit, but it didn't last long, because by then I'd learned to fight back. I got left alone after I did.
I really threw myself into academics as a child. I defined my self-worth by how well I had done on tests and how much I knew. I fell out of that frame of mind around 14 and for about three years, I couldn't have cared less about school. If I hadn't been allowed to choose my own subjects in Years 11 and 12, I would have dropped out. At the time, I desired to become a mechanic.
I loved reading, writing and spelling because I was good at them. I hated maths. I strongly suspect I have dyscalculia (the math equivalent of dyslexia) and I didn't receive any assistance or support with that. I wasn't very good at art or music (the sound of the recorder drove me mad and I didn't like to draw or paint). I liked History and Science (before it started to require huge amounts of complicated maths). I hated sports/gym mainly because of the competitive aspect in addition to the facts that I didn't understand how to play any of the sports and that I was overweight. Great combination if you want to get picked on. I'm at university now and I feel more excited about academics than I have in years.
My biological mother always praised me in the academics I was good at, but she didn't encourage me to pursue any of the subjects I had trouble with like math. She never appeared to care I could count all my friends on one hand, because she never commented on it, which I am grateful for. Because my biological father does nothing but comment on and harrass me about my lack of a social life. He also expresses any praise he has for me, through physical affection which I often wish he didn't do. Sometimes I just don't want to be touched.
+ Any stories you want to tell about your childhood (preferably AS-related, but other stories are good too)...
Something that sprang to mind was a time when I was in the first grade. I had been zoning out during roll call and didn't hear the teacher when it was my turn. She basically kept shouting at me and when she finally did get my attention she yelled even louder. I looked up at the ceiling and she screamed "DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!"
I remember feeling so confused and bewildered. I didn't even know what rolling my eyes meant and I didn't understand why she was so angry at me. Not hearing somebody is a pretty minor offence, in the grand scheme of things.
In case this seems like an irrelevant story, I would like to make it clear that this is an example that sprung to mind, to highlight how socially awkward I was/am, because of the AS.
_________________
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus. |
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sohmasheep
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 13, 2010
Age: 21
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:35 am Post subject: |
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The closest I have been to being diagnosed was a psychiatrist that suspected me to be on the spectrum, but nothing more.
I've been an outcast and a loner ever since preschool.
I've never had any real friends.
When I was little I collected and enjoyed playing with Hot Wheels cars. My dad has told me that every sunday I left the toy store with a new Hot Wheels car. 
I also enjoyed acting out scenes from my favorite movies using toys but never had an imaginary friend.
I have a hypersensitive hearing and as a consequence, I developed a strong fear towards balloons, so many classmates used that Achilles' heel to make my life a living hell. The scars are still there and if given the opportunity, I would enjoy having my sweet revenge over those bastards. 
On the other hand, I've always had good grades and most of my teachers loved to have me as their student.
During my late childhood/early teenage years, my parents took me to several psychiatrists under the pretext that I didn't speak with the other kids (even the ones that weren't mean to me), but at my early twenties, they finally seem to have given up and accepted my introvert personality.
Finally, other anecdotes that could be considered AS related include everytime we had to do teamwork in class and we were given the liberty to choose our teammates. Guess who always ended up being left out? |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:24 am Post subject: |
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..I was never diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome or Autism but I always had problems when I was growing up. I had a lot of testing done when I was a little girl but professionals could never pin point what was wrong with me. To this day my mum regrets not having me tested enough than I should of had. Throughout my childhood I was a very shy and awkward girl. I was a bit slow when it came to certain things. I was always good in the language arts. I used to stim a lot, especially when I was watching television or reading, wiggling my fingers around a lot.
I did have a lot of problems growing up. In elementary school I was way too shy. I had horrible fine motor skills, I didn't master tying my shoes until I was about 15 years old. I disguised that very well though. I couldn't ride a bike or swim. I had a horrible learning disability with math. A few people at school would make fun of me because I was so shy. I had really low self-esteem about myself because I didn't feel smart or pretty. I didn't show my emotions well, which just made teasing worse. When I was 17 year old, I started rebelling more and hanging out with older people.
I definitely had more female friends because I felt more comfortable around females. I had a few male friends though. My favourite toys were doll houses, Polly Pockets, Littlest Pet Shops, Pogs, board games and I only liked playing dolls and Barbies with my friends. I liked playing with cars on the car mat with my brother as well. I was obsessed with child development, Shirley Temple, people dying and Little House on the Prairie and reading. To this day I'm still obsessed with reading, child development and now I'm also interested in psychology and techno music.
Pretend Play...I used to play with my hands and make them into imaginary people. I named the left one Pookie and the right one Pocki. lol don't ask. I had a pretty good imagination, I was perfectly happy to play by myself. My brother, friends and I always used to play outside by the creek, we'd also go to each others houses and have sleep-overs, play war, play school, play house, play fun fair or we'd set up a zoo with my stuffed animals. We'd also play this game where we would take a few toy airplanes and we'd take some of my little toy figures and set up pretend airports in each room of the house and we'd walk around the house with our airplanes dropping off "people" which were toys and picking them up at different airports. I had a imaginary friend when I was between the ages of 5-6, she wore either a blue or pink dress, she had blonde hair and blue eyes and she'd follow me around everywhere, I didn't talk to her out loud or tell anybody about her though. Then there were my friends Pooki and Pocki, lol.
I got bullied a little bit in school just because I was so shy but I didn't get bullied too much. My marks were average to below average in school depends on what the subject was. I made honour roll for English in high school and I made honours in college. I was always a very well behaved child. My parents were always very protective of me and I was very spoiled. They knew I had disabilities to overcome and they understood that.
I used to stim a lot when I was younger when I read or watched television. I'd wiggle my fingers. I still do that now but not as much and I only do it when there's nobody else around. I always picked at my skin and hair a lot as well, then and now. I had a problem with looking people into the eyes as well. When I was 5 years old and in kindergarten my teacher had a conference with my mom about it and my mom made me look into peoples eyes after that and if I didn't, she'd threaten to punish me. I didn't like to smile or laugh in front of people at school either. I was always scared of loud sounds and when I grew older I'd get really irritated with annoying, little sounds...that would get me extremely irritated. My brain processing speed has always been slow and it takes me a long time to process things. My anxiety is sky high and I have depression. I've been on antidepressants since I was 12 years old. |
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