SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2095
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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 Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:02 am Post subject: |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqyU2X-qEbg
Some parents are just disappointed when their kids don't have the same values as they do...which is wrong. maybe this song will help you like it has helped me.
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My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos
Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.
Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist |
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Kvornan
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 04, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 245
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:43 am Post subject: |
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Though both of my parents had me diagnosed, they still don't get the inner depth of what it's like to have AS. My mom still has not a clue that I'm better thinking in images than any other way of thought, so I get in trouble a lot, despite my willing to help out a lot around the house & at school.
If I have kids one day, whenever they'll have AS or not, I'll tutor them with flashcards & photographs. |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2095
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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I can completely sympathize, my dad could care less about my aspergers pretty much, he just wants me to fake being normal.
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AngelKnight
Phoenix
Joined: May 04, 2011
Posts: 748
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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Odd, there was no comparison involved in my statement as far as I am aware. It was meant to clarify that the circumstances that bring about physical abuse generally include psychological abuse. Weighing various forms of abuse to compare the damage on the targets is generally non-productive.
I do agree with the above where someone mentioned that abuse is abuse regardless of form.
For whomever asked about advice... Well, I don't have advice on how to avoid or deal with the situation for yourself or anyone else, just stories about what I did to avoid or deal with my situation.
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(edit: read the forum thread from top to bottom... *Now* it's sinking in why this looks like escalation. Crap, sorry about that; at this point my first post in-thread constitutes a thread-derail.)
For what it's worth, there are ways to get past. And sometimes (I am *TOTALLY* only speaking from my own experience), certain people who are parents just aren't any damn good at it, and one has to find another way through growing up.
I think I've mentioned before that I agree with the sentiment that 20-year-olds probably ought to get medals just for surviving to be 20. |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2095
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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I have had to erase damn near everything my parents gave me philosophically and in the process of enjoying things.
My dad pretty much encouraged me to steal music and to not commit to any bands in particular and my mother made me uneducated, socially inept, completely undeveloped mentally and lazy.
And they just did that and provide basic survival needs. TV was my parents.
I wish I could truly love my parents but it just feels like they are fractured beings that have no clue who they are or how to parent.
Has anyone else had to completely undo the conditioning their parents gave them just to enjoy what you do now and to be sane?
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Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.
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Invader
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 17, 2010
Age: 29
Posts: 458
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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| AspieAshley wrote: | | Invader wrote: | | Look on the bright side. At least you're not being physically abused. |
That's the problem, Invader. People don't realize how severe psychological abuse is because we can't roll up our sleeves and show the police or a family law judge our wounds. I would actually rather be physically abused for this very reason. |
Actually, most people who have been physically abused are well aware of how bad psychological abuse is. People who abuse children aren't exactly angels in other areas of life, and it's not as if being beat up isn't going to have its own additional psychological effects, on top of being not only neglected but actively treated like garbage too.
If police and family law judges could magically make these things stop, they wouldn't happen. The additional psychological trauma would probably even prevent you from seeking help at all.
I admitted that it doesn't really help to try to be thankful that your problems aren't as bad as those of other people, but then, it doesn't really help to try and think about how your own problems are so much worse either.
So your family doesn't care or encourage you... That doesn't stop you from being able to care or encourage yourself. If anything it should give you motivation to do well in life and make a better family of your own. The family you're born into isn't the only family you can ever have, that's the beauty of procreation: When you don't like your family you can just spawn a new one.
Last edited by Invader on Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:35 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2095
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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And it has done that...I want to make my future better so that I can exist without being reliant on my father who cares little about me outside of basic needs.
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AspieAshley
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 16, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 174
Location: Bloomington, MN
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Invader wrote: | | AspieAshley wrote: | | Invader wrote: | | Look on the bright side. At least you're not being physically abused. |
That's the problem, Invader. People don't realize how severe psychological abuse is because we can't roll up our sleeves and show the police or a family law judge our wounds. I would actually rather be physically abused for this very reason. |
Actually, most people who have been physically abused are well aware of how bad psychological abuse is. People who abuse children aren't exactly angels in other areas of life, and it's not as if being beat up isn't going to have its own additional psychological effects, on top of being not only neglected but actively treated like garbage too.
If police and family law judges could magically make these things stop, they wouldn't happen. The additional psychological trauma would probably even prevent you from seeking help at all.
I admitted that it doesn't really help to try to be thankful that your problems aren't as bad as those of other people, but then, it doesn't really help to try and think about how your own problems are so much worse either.
So your family doesn't care or encourage you... That doesn't stop you from being able to care or encourage yourself. If anything it should give you motivation to do well in life and make a better family of your own. The family you're born into isn't the only family you can ever have, that's the beauty of procreation: When you don't like your family you can just spawn a new one. |
What I'm saying is that psychological abuse is so acceptable, if not encouraged. I'll never forget last fall when I was taking a walk in a park with my mentor after volunteering at the animal hospital one evening. We saw a peewee football game taking place. The coach was verbally abusing the kids to death. I don't remember what he said, other than that it was horrible, but what was even more dreadful was that the parents were looking at the shocked looks on our faces and defending him. I'm sure I'd be much more able to recover from my parents' if, say, they were thrown in jail for what they did.
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Letting go is not a skill--it's the lazy way out. The real skill is having the courage to stand up for yourself and demand justice.
I'm not mentally ill--the world is!
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2095
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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It is saddening how much people repress one another isn't it? Hopefully Gandhi's dream comes true someday and we will be more peaceful. I doubt it will happen anytime soon though.
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My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos
Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.
Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist |
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