Help! Best friend (male) kissed me (male)! !! !
I don't know what to do. My family's going through a rough time, so my friend, who knows me very well and knew it'd be stressful at home for me, picked me up to go see the new Sherlock Holmes. He and I have known each other for fifteen years, because our mothers are best friends, too. We watched the movie, but I got bored, and he sensed that I was bored, (he knows me this well) so we went to the library, got books, and read them at the park. We were talking about philosophy when he kissed me on the mouth. I didn't know what to do. So I just let him and didn't talk. I couldn't even say anything on the ride home. I couldn't even talk to my mom. I can TYPE, but I don't want to email him. I don't know what happened. Of course I didn't see it coming. I don't understand. I had no idea, and now I have no idea what to do. Anyone-- help?
Are you gay? (not trying to be mean by asking this) I think that could be kind of important for this topic
Or could of just been too shocked to move.
Just if it happens again just back off, if you don't have that type of feeling for the other.
Just say I am straight or something, reason I did not move last time is because I was caught off guard & I just want to be friends. Serious it is common for even male & females to get this reaction.
They either react or freeze. So depends how you feel about it.
_________________
INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
?When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.?
Just tell him that you're neither bisexual or gay, and what he did surprised you and upset you.
If you want to remain friends, make sure he knows that you are annoyed with him, but want to stay friends.
After that, explain why kissing a best friend is a stupid idea.
It was wrong letting this just sit, so you should talk to him soon, and apologize for not explaining this sooner, while telling him that what he did really upset you.
Disagree with the advice above to tell your friend he was stupid/annoying/inappropriate.
Maybe your friend has been trying to work up the nerve to do this for a while. Or maybe he misinterpreted something you did or said.
If you are not interested and want to save the friendship then a simple, "I think we got our signals wrong last time we hung out; sorry I didn't say anything but you really kind of surprised me!"
Or maybe the reason you are unsure about your sexuality is that you have never been with someone you love and trust. If you love and trust your best friend, maybe he is the ideal person to help you explore/discover your feelings. Just a thought...
Just put a email like this:- When you decide how you feel about it.
_________________
INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
?When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.?
Do NT's really get over things that quickly? I know I couldn't. I may be projecting my feelings onto him in thinking that he'll be hurt. I have NO idea what his reaction will be. Another question, can friends kiss like that? My mom kisses her friends on their cheeks, and I've seen countless children kiss each other, and those kisses can't POSSIBLY have sexual implications. I don't know. But why would he do this now, when things are odd at my house? Does he want to catch me vulnerable? I have no idea. But we're brothers, almost. We talk every night for at least an hour. We have the same handwriting because we wrote with each other for so long. Fifteen years. And I didn't think things would change. He likes Rose from Doctor Who, I thought. He watches a lot of TV, and calls me Dr. Spenser Reid. We have nicknames. We write stories together. We go places together, and he spent a week with my family in Hawaii. He's touched my hair before, just petting it like a cat, or something, but brothers do that. I know I would if I had a little brother. Could these things be misinterpreted?
Some people put it behind, but will hold onto it, but not show it. Some people get over it fast.
Kiss on the cheek is a greeting, some do a peck on lips. But longer would suggest different.
Sounds like he has feelings for you, that is more than just friends. Hes not your brother though, & a brother kissing on the lips? I know some people can have a friends with benefits.
_________________
INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
?When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.?
This is just awful, then. I could have led him on. I think I know when. When he touched my hair it felt good so I asked him to continue. That was last week. Maybe that was the turning point. I'm so stupid. But, he matters a lot to me as my friend, sometimes only friend, someone who has put up with me for a long time, someone that I've stopped from suicide, someone that I wanted to be roommates with in college even though people are annoying. It's like a paradigm shift for me. I even thought a few seconds ago that I WOULD be open to being his boyfriend, because I care about him so much, and don't want to lose him, but then got really grossed out when I thought about the implications.
Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
Was he hot I don mind kissing guys
diniesaur
Veteran
Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 758
Location: in the Ministry of Silly Walks
I think it will probably hurt him, but I don't think he will try to leave you. I think that you should just ask him for time to think about it, but make sure you don't lead him on--tell him that you don't think you're attracted to anyone, but give him a chance. Tell him you were too surprised. You may want a tactile friendship. You seem to be really good friends, and I don't think you should mess that up.
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