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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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 Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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| My best chance to meet women as of late is when I go to the gym. |
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machf
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Posts: 312
Location: Lima, Peru
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| Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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That's probably a good place, but not everyone likes going to the gym...
And there are some people who go deliberately just for that, too. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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| machf wrote: | That's probably a good place, but not everyone likes going to the gym...
And there are some people who go deliberately just for that, too. |
Who goes to the gym and not work out? (Ges cold chills and shakes) WOW that is kinda creepy I dont think I will go to the gyn monday just stay home and work out in the backyard.
Or go to a bar and drink until I for get you told me that. |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:09 am Post subject: |
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Guys hold your horses.
I go to gym all the time. It is certainly great place to meet women. I go to do body pump fitness class once a week, the class is always full of good looking girls! BUT remember that, checking out girls at the gym is VERY offensive. As most guys go to the gym is usually body workout to show off guns to women. So don't try anything like that. Just go like hi but keep busy, if she responds to you and want to talk, then respond to her.
Social rule for aspie guys in the gym: Never approach a girl at gym sessions and/or fitness classes. Let them approach you, if not, don't worry about it.
I tell you what, from my experience for meeting girls:
1. University library: Yes there are full of them! However, if they look busy. Don't interrupt.
2. Social sporting programs (mixed company): They are fun, team effort and workout is biggest role in meeting them. Sporty girls tend to be very open.
3. Travelling programs: Like overseas working holidays and vice versa etc; this is BIGGEST opportunity, if you take summer program or a full year program. They are likely to be with you most of the time. You will likely to meet someone from overseas, someone will be much better than in your country itself depending on the population basis. I highly recommended for most aspie guys (and girls of course) to do travelling programs!
Those three play major role in my life at the moment. But heres a list of places that NEVER CONSIDER to meet women are:
1. Nightclubs
2. Gym
3. Community awareness programs (they indeed can be picky) |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:33 am Post subject: |
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| AussieMatty wrote: | Guys hold your horses.
I go to gym all the time. It is certainly great place to meet women. I go to do body pump fitness class once a week, the class is always full of good looking girls! BUT remember that, checking out girls at the gym is VERY offensive. As most guys go to the gym is usually body workout to show off guns to women. So don't try anything like that. Just go like hi but keep busy, if she responds to you and want to talk, then respond to her.
Social rule for aspie guys in the gym: Never approach a girl at gym sessions and/or fitness classes. Let them approach you, if not, don't worry about it.
I tell you what, from my experience for meeting girls:
1. University library: Yes there are full of them! However, if they look busy. Don't interrupt.
2. Social sporting programs (mixed company): They are fun, team effort and workout is biggest role in meeting them. Sporty girls tend to be very open.
3. Travelling programs: Like overseas working holidays and vice versa etc; this is BIGGEST opportunity, if you take summer program or a full year program. They are likely to be with you most of the time. You will likely to meet someone from overseas, someone will be much better than in your country itself depending on the population basis. I highly recommended for most aspie guys (and girls of course) to do travelling programs!
Those three play major role in my life at the moment. But heres a list of places that NEVER CONSIDER to meet women are:
1. Nightclubs
2. Gym
3. Community awareness programs (they indeed can be picky) |
WOW you are some kind of sorcerer do you read minds? Cause you just read mine I think the same thing weird huh. |
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machf
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Posts: 312
Location: Lima, Peru
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:49 am Post subject: |
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| This reminds me one time, several years ago, when I was taking swimming lessons, not because I couldn't swim, but because my doctor recommended it as an exercise. After the class was over, two of the girls approached me and asked me if I liked going out to run (jogging)... I half-jokingly answered that I only run when I'm late for an appointment or trying to catch my ride, and went to the locker room. I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now. |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:07 am Post subject: |
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| machf wrote: | | This reminds me one time, several years ago, when I was taking swimming lessons, not because I couldn't swim, but because my doctor recommended it as an exercise. After the class was over, two of the girls approached me and asked me if I liked going out to run (jogging)... I half-jokingly answered that I only run when I'm late for an appointment or trying to catch my ride, and went to the locker room. I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now. |
It just a luck mate. Try again. It will get better, only when you think positively. Girls can read guys body language just like spiritual minds from paranormal scenes.
Joker: Haha not really. I just clearly can read situations of what is 'gone' wrong. In this case, I have learnt a lot of things anyways. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:13 am Post subject: |
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| AussieMatty wrote: | | machf wrote: | | This reminds me one time, several years ago, when I was taking swimming lessons, not because I couldn't swim, but because my doctor recommended it as an exercise. After the class was over, two of the girls approached me and asked me if I liked going out to run (jogging)... I half-jokingly answered that I only run when I'm late for an appointment or trying to catch my ride, and went to the locker room. I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now. |
It just a luck mate. Try again. It will get better, only when you think positively. Girls can read guys body language just like spiritual minds from paranormal scenes.
Joker: Haha not really. I just clearly can read situations of what is 'gone' wrong. In this case, I have learnt a lot of things anyways. |
Cool we both have that in common awesome  |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:21 am Post subject: |
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| machf wrote: | | I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now. |
Don't beat yourself up about it, the good thing about socializing is that there's always another chance to do it. Of course, there are going to girls that flake or opportunities you miss out on but as you improve as socializing, your chances of finding a relationship and forming friendships will as well. |
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mds_02
Skank
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 1970
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:33 am Post subject: |
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| ValentineWiggin wrote: | | mds_02 wrote: | Thank you.
"saw" them live last year. With Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. |
Oh, oh, I HATE you. I'm so jealous.  |
As you should be. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:39 am Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: |
That's you? I wasn't sure if that was you or if that was the actor that plays Carter in ER.
We can't decide who you look like can we? But you are a very nice looking boy. |
Oh thanks, I haven't heard anyone say I look like him yet probably because ER isn't very popular in England. |
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spongy
...
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 7433
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:55 am Post subject: |
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You can meet people anywhere just as long as you arent expecting them to make the first move at all times.
Up until a month ago I had met less than 10 girls in the last year(my classes are mainly males, my friend circle was an all male group...),whereas I met 10 girls last week.
What happened in between?. I had to spend an awfull amount on time in bed/at home during October/November/December due to some health issues and I had plenty of time to think about where my life was going and if I wanted things to remain this way... and I decided to start a social circle from scratch
Now I know starting a social circle from scratch isnt simple and it can take a great amount of time but there are some shortcuts that can give you an easy start and then you can try to improve the situation with a little hard work.
On January I decided to put myself out there more to get to know some new people(not just girls) and become more comfortable with social stuff.
In order to do this I made myself promise that Id give anything a chance, Ive been to: English conversation clubs several times/local OWS meetings(I saw an ad and it didnt look that bad), even several meetings of some sort of local youth group(one of the members at an English club invited me and they seem to be quite open minded).
The only thing this places have in common is that they were open organizations looking for new members. Ive been out there and I know how much it sucks to reach out to someone/a group and be rejected so Im only going to groups that need new people to avoid the rejection possibility.
Now I cant say that Im perfectly happy where I am(not a religious person for example so Im quite lost at youth group meetings) but I can say that Ive become more comfortable around people and that this has been helping me become more comfortable with myself and lose the whole everyone sucks attitude I had had for a while.
Believe it or not I spent several hours this friday joking around some suitable girls and some boys that were only a few years older than me. How did this happen?, pretty simple I saw an ad for an event that involved talking to some us citizens and there I was invited to an open mic night. The following day I was invited to a dinner and some serious talk afterwards. Upon asking them they said it was a bible reading and then a discussion. Now Im not a religious person but I put myself out there with an open mind and I met several people that were going to be at the open mic night and thats how I ended up with some girls on friday instead of on my own(which is what happens most weeks)
Im not telling you guys to take any opportunity you may get as Im doing but trying to have an open mind about some activities wont hurt you and will increase your chances of meeting new people which will probably include girls if you know which activities to look at. |
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machf
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Posts: 312
Location: Lima, Peru
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | machf wrote: | | I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now. |
Don't beat yourself up about it, the good thing about socializing is that there's always another chance to do it. Of course, there are going to girls that flake or opportunities you miss out on but as you improve as socializing, your chances of finding a relationship and forming friendships will as well. |
Oh, that was a long time ago, like 15 years or so... but I never reflected upon it until now (hey, back thenI had never heard about Asperger's, for starters). I only mentioned it because that's another option people may want to consider. I guess bicycle riding is another, too (but mine broke around the same time, and I haven't repaired it or bought another one since then, even though I've often thought of doing so). |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:10 am Post subject: |
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| spongy wrote: | You can meet people anywhere just as long as you arent expecting them to make the first move at all times.
Up until a month ago I had met less than 10 girls in the last year(my classes are mainly males, my friend circle was an all male group...),whereas I met 10 girls last week.
What happened in between?. I had to spend an awfull amount on time in bed/at home during October/November/December due to some health issues and I had plenty of time to think about where my life was going and if I wanted things to remain this way... and I decided to start a social circle from scratch
Now I know starting a social circle from scratch isnt simple and it can take a great amount of time but there are some shortcuts that can give you an easy start and then you can try to improve the situation with a little hard work.
On January I decided to put myself out there more to get to know some new people(not just girls) and become more comfortable with social stuff.
In order to do this I made myself promise that Id give anything a chance, Ive been to: English conversation clubs several times/local OWS meetings(I saw an ad and it didnt look that bad), even several meetings of some sort of local youth group(one of the members at an English club invited me and they seem to be quite open minded).
The only thing this places have in common is that they were open organizations looking for new members. Ive been out there and I know how much it sucks to reach out to someone/a group and be rejected so Im only going to groups that need new people to avoid the rejection possibility.
Now I cant say that Im perfectly happy where I am(not a religious person for example so Im quite lost at youth group meetings) but I can say that Ive become more comfortable around people and that this has been helping me become more comfortable with myself and lose the whole everyone sucks attitude I had had for a while.
Believe it or not I spent several hours this friday joking around some suitable girls and some boys that were only a few years older than me. How did this happen?, pretty simple I saw an ad for an event that involved talking to some us citizens and there I was invited to an open mic night. The following day I was invited to a dinner and some serious talk afterwards. Upon asking them they said it was a bible reading and then a discussion. Now Im not a religious person but I put myself out there with an open mind and I met several people that were going to be at the open mic night and thats how I ended up with some girls on friday instead of on my own(which is what happens most weeks)
Im not telling you guys to take any opportunity you may get as Im doing but trying to have an open mind about some activities wont hurt you and will increase your chances of meeting new people which will probably include girls if you know which activities to look at. |
Thanks for sharing this, just goes to show if you make an effort and put yourself out there with an open and optimistic mindset, you can meet friendly people. |
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tronist
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 308
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:17 am Post subject: |
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| RightGalaxy wrote: | Don't just look for women, look for aspie women. NT's are only going to reject you or keep you for a bit and then kick you away penniless. Actually, an aspie woman has a better chance with an NT man than aspie men have with an NT women. The very purpose of an NT woman's life is a social one. When NT men socialize, they don't care if their women are there or not. The NT woman EXPECTS you to socialize. An NT guy will cheat on any kind of woman. NT guys find it easier to cheat on an aspie because she doesn't have a big social circle to tell her what he's doing behind her back. She's also unable to read the signs of infidelity. She'll eventually find out but an NT woman will find out a lot sooner. My NT cousin married an aspie and was ever so grateful for his fidelity and hard-work but after 8 years, she got very depressed and gained a lot of weight. She ended up having an affair with an NT guy and divorced him. Her complaint was that he always wants to stay home. He doesn't talk to people. He's embarrasing and bores people when he does talk to them. She didn't want to talk about electronics at the end of her day. She wanted to go to the bar with friends. Because of her guilt that he was indeed a GOOD man, She gave him eveything! The house, the car, the dog,
the two children every weekend, everything! She didn't take a dime!! If you decide to take a bite out of an NT woman, you are going to bite off way more than you can chew. Stay with your own type!! |
i feel like almost all of what you have said is baseless speculation.
people arent the same. just because some NT's do some things doesnt mean all will, and vice versa. you can be an aspie and be fully capable of taking your girl out from time to time. relationships and marriage especially arent about saying 'be my girlfriend' having them accepting, then durdling around doing nothing. theres much more time / dedication / etc. that goes into them to make them truly work, and truly thrive. |
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