AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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 Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:36 am Post subject: Friends say I have friends but.... |
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I never get accepted going to parties, birthday parties and all of that stuff hang outs. I am always being left out in every single case. Its upsets me a lot seeing in myself being so 'limited life'. I didn't do anything wrong to anyone. So why the curse is causing my life too hard to being accepted?
Well I always accept myself, never intend to do harmful things and those kind of BS stuff. Every time when I am happy and positive I always get a bad result too easily. That when I didn't do anything wrong to make people to reject and leave me out for every single case.
Im always the one invite people to hang out like going to pool, the island off Townsville, grab some food, gym and the stuff that is appropriate. I had my 21st party at Pizza Hut several weeks ago, I invited the friends that friends told me they are friends, only 4 turned up out of 40 people. I found that is slack. People just always use me as label of conditions and self BS stuff.
When I am happy, I don't feel I have aspergers at all.
So I observed that in collection of theories over the years, that people do not want me being around them at their own times because they all see I can screw things up and make things go wrong. Haha seriously, IM NOT EVEN HANDICAPPED! Im not dumb! Im totally normal person, gosh! Family and friends does this to me, it hurts me a lot. Why I always get this when I haven't done anything wrong? Maybe Im cursed to being a ridiculous living life, being single forever, not have so much acceptable friends, family use alcohol to calm their nerves down when Im around them and never going to get married.......
That what I am seeing what my life is going to be because I am seeing the world hating me so much for no reason. For instance, I didn't do anything to cause this negativity and all of this colloquial language.....
So tell me what is wrong? Why the world hate me so much? Why every single person in my life does this to me? Why I am too nice person get this bad result? Why I deserved to be cursed?
Well god probably not wanted me to live on.... |
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Radiofixr
Punished daily for being me and different
Joined: May 31, 2010
Posts: 1434
Location: PA
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:01 am Post subject: |
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same here I never get invited-I have acquaintances but very very few friends.
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No Pain.-No Pain!!!! |
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AngelKnight
Phoenix
Joined: May 04, 2011
Posts: 748
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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Hard to say why the people around you treat you this way. But it's worth mentioning there may well be more to the world; might be a good time (and a good excuse, apparently you're young!  ) to find a different part of the world and see if it feels more like home. |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe its the curse thing?? Its kept happening like this. I never make people to see as negative. I think they see me a huge deal in AS as a problem. Like making them feel awkward or whatever. But I ain't!! I kept telling people I'm not like that! |
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dustyrose
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 13, 2012
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Hey, at least you have the courage to invite people to hang out with you. |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| So dunno why no one else really invite me. What I do wrong? |
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BMctav
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:52 pm Post subject: Re: Friends say I have friends but.... |
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| AussieMatty wrote: |
So tell me what is wrong? Why the world hate me so much? Why every single person in my life does this to me? Why I am too nice person get this bad result? Why I deserved to be cursed?
Well god probably not wanted me to live on.... |
You are indulging in some negative and inaccurate thinking. The world doesn't hate you. You are not cursed. I can't imagine any circumstances wherein God would want you to die.
I understand what it's like to be lonely, but this kind of thinking isn't helpful. It'll just make you feel sad and depressed.
So what are you doing wrong? Who knows. Probably nothing. I have quite a few acquaintances, but only one real friend. I'm in the process of slowly building more meaningful relationships with others, but it's difficult and it takes time. I'm NT so don't have the difficulties that someone with AS has, but I have my own problems and restrictions which make forming friendships difficult for me. I guess I'm trying to demonstrate to you that you are not unique in feeling lonely and without real friends.
My advice would be to either try and build deeper, more meaningful relationships with your current circle of acquaintances/friends or try and find some new ones. You sound like a cool guy and it's cool how you are assertive in inviting people are out (pool, gym etc.), you just need to find the right person or people that will reciprocate your affections and time.
Good luck. |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1840
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:37 am Post subject: |
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I have the same problems i am never invited, not accepted even on FB my childhood acquaintances would not add me it started hurting a lot and i was singled out by everyone right from my mother, brother, relatives, neighbours it was very lonely.
I started digging deep why this was happening and during counselling session it came out that i was badly abused as a child, i was not allowed to meet people, i was not allowed to talk on the phone, i was not allowed to go out with friends this all lead me to be introvert, withdrawn, dull and boring.
I have poor social skills and instead of blaming others i have accepted that the fault lies in me. Its not them who are bad its just that i am not upto their standard or level and now its too late for anyone to have patience to train me or guide me with social skills, so they just avoid me and leave me to my devices.
the more i am left alone the more my depression and anxiety increases and aggravates.
Now i hardly call up people, i hardly celebrate my birthday, i hardly attend any function infact i dont buy any party clothes because i know i wont be invited for any party i have given away all my good clothes to charity/poor etc.
I dont send out any friend request on Facebook because i already anticipate whats going to happen and most of the time that only happens.
The more i keep to myself others around me are happy they no longer need to snub me or hurt me. i am happy and there is calm all around.
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
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Mindslave
Jackass of all trades
Joined: Nov 15, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1818
Location: Where the wild things wish they were
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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| People in the United States are usually paranoid when it comes to people that are different. I'm sure it's like that everywhere, but we are obsessed with not appearing weak, not so much with appearing strong. Befriending somebody socially awkward lowers the perceived social standing, so that's a big no-no. I've never had lots of friends, because in order to have lots of friends I would have to go to bars and drink alcohol and do things that status-obsessed people do to reaffirm their self-worth and maintain their numerous friends who aren't even friends at all, but temporary allies lured by the illusion of power, or so it seems. It's always been easier for me when it's me and one or two other people, so that way I don't get left out. Besides, people with "lots of friends" are usually superficial, which is why they have lots of friends, and superficial people are interested in superficial things, and I'm not interested in superficial things. My friends usually are down to earth and focused, not superficial. |
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Brodi56
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 28, 2012
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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| "Ask not what your friends can do for you. Ask what you can do for your friends." (With apologies to JFK.) Seriously, look for someone who has a need and volunteer to help out with that need. Even something as asking someone if they need you to pick them up on the way to work, school, church. Or asking if they need someone to drive them to the doctor's office. Another idea is to bring lunch over to someone who lives alone. |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 6:14 am Post subject: |
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This is ridiculously f**** up world. Why blame me for not having social skills properly while trying to make friends and learn at the same time? I have been making planned and successful events that I have dominated so far this year with the uni and community. No one is ever interested in me to seek friendship at all, they used me as a nobody person. Why the attitude drops too easily for them when I am happy at same time I never done one thing that cause them harm?! This so f**** up society. Everything is always push me and pressure me too deep for no reason.
World? Hello? Whats going on!? What I do? NOTHING! |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2093
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Mindslave wrote: | | People in the United States are usually paranoid when it comes to people that are different. I'm sure it's like that everywhere, but we are obsessed with not appearing weak, not so much with appearing strong. Befriending somebody socially awkward lowers the perceived social standing, so that's a big no-no. I've never had lots of friends, because in order to have lots of friends I would have to go to bars and drink alcohol and do things that status-obsessed people do to reaffirm their self-worth and maintain their numerous friends who aren't even friends at all, but temporary allies lured by the illusion of power, or so it seems. It's always been easier for me when it's me and one or two other people, so that way I don't get left out. Besides, people with "lots of friends" are usually superficial, which is why they have lots of friends, and superficial people are interested in superficial things, and I'm not interested in superficial things. My friends usually are down to earth and focused, not superficial. |
Exactly my thoughts.
If you have people that want nothing to do with being around you, they're not friends. A true friend is someone you can rely on and enjoy the presence of...and I too face that struggle. It gets easier voer time if you can keep fighting the negative thoughts.
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omega26
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 22, 2011
Posts: 77
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:09 am Post subject: |
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| I can relate to this topic, this has had to me all my life |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1840
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:13 am Post subject: |
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| Brodi56 wrote: | | "Ask not what your friends can do for you. Ask what you can do for your friends." (With apologies to JFK.) Seriously, look for someone who has a need and volunteer to help out with that need. Even something as asking someone if they need you to pick them up on the way to work, school, church. Or asking if they need someone to drive them to the doctor's office. Another idea is to bring lunch over to someone who lives alone. |
after you do all this for them then they ceremoniously kick you out of their life for no apparent reason at all...
we keep sulking in self pity after that
i have had many friends who used me like tissue paper and then dumped me
they have taken free books from me, cash from me and then disappeared.
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:37 am Post subject: |
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| I still don't understand...its frustrating. |
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