The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9320
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:40 pm Post subject: Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;). |
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... then shame them! (or ignore them back, but i'd prefer shaming them ;p).
IF there is no apparent reason to ignore you.
This is a tip for guys who have been chatting with a girl on okcupid and suddenly they get ignored by her.
This is interesting but sometimes you have to a assertive in a rightful way , even on online dating like okcupid.
There's a woman that i have been chatting with on okcupid, she's 35 and she made it clear she's not interested in younger folks - fine, but i kept chatting her anyways.
Lately, every time i am sending her a hi, she visits my profile and doesn't reply. So i finally sent her "you know, what you're doing is rude, it's like ignoring someone who's saying hello in your face"
She replied after minutes!!
She said sorry and her reason that she's only wanting to use okc for dating and doesn't want to waste time. We kept chatting for a bit after that tho.
Fine - the point is that i made her reply.
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this happened to me on okcupid several times
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This also happened with with a woman i know in real life and for some reason, she kept ignoring me on msn for almost two days, yet she was online green and active on FB, she even ignored my 'are you there?' whatsup messages - something that she always did when i take long to reply her, that's why i did it once, yet she ignored it.
She kept ignoring till i sent her on msn "Stop ignoring me, shall you? I am talking with you!"
She replied after seconds, apologizing, and told me a she's having a hard time ..etc etc.... the convo went smooth, deep and funny more than ever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The thing is, dear guys, that women on online dating have been used to get a lot of attention, there's a lot of supply for them, so huge that they view most guys as "dispensable objects" - so they just ignore them en masse, they have no other choice actually.
but if you were exchanging messages with her with a while or been an online buddy of her, then you, as a human being, is also entitled to be respected, and deliberately ignoring you is a lack of manner/respect.
So sometimes, it's good to "shake", to make her fall from her high cloud, and remind her that you're not just an another dispensable subject and that you're a human being too. It's also good to not be beggy and show her you have a backbone and pride, therefore you should demand mutual respect.
So if they ignore you deliberately, ignore back or just shame them  .
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:42 pm; edited 7 times in total |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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If they ignore me and keep doing it I will give them a real reason too that works much better plus you can make a game out of it  |
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smudge
Your worst nightmare
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Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 2128
Location: London
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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| That's completely pointless. They're just being polite and are trying not to look bad. They really don't care if they ignore you in the first place. You've just made them feel a bit bad. Pointing it out doesn't mean anyone is going to want you any more. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12488
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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| smudge wrote: | | That's completely pointless. They're just being polite and are trying not to look bad. They really don't care if they ignore you in the first place. You've just made them feel a bit bad. Pointing it out doesn't mean anyone is going to want you any more. |
I dont think anyone expects it to turn on the good. Just it gives them a reason to reply back even if it is because they feel bad for X or Y reason
Also, motion to ban boo from making any more posts until he finishes his last story. Any takers? |
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TechnoDog
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 869
Location: Thornaby, UK
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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Or she could just have 138+ emails in her inbox & 100+ people trying to chat to her.
I never met anyone off these sites. Like going into a night club, instead of a supermarket.
I met people on other things, but never a dating site. Also you might end up been banned, if you start harassing.
OKcupid, has a great website. Never seen such a website be so not transparent.
_________________
INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9320
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| smudge wrote: | | That's completely pointless. They're just being polite and are trying not to look bad. They really don't care if they ignore you in the first place. You've just made them feel a bit bad. Pointing it out doesn't mean anyone is going to want you any more. |
That's not the point, if she's not interested then that doesn't mean she has a carte blanche to ignore my salutations as if i am invisible, especially when I make it clear that i am not after dating her anymore, and especially if she's rude enough to show you that she saw your messages everytime.
This is a lack of basic manners. Period. And i won't let it go uncommented. |
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TechnoDog
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 869
Location: Thornaby, UK
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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It's a dating site, she has made it clear that she want's to use it for dating. Not a social networking site.
_________________
INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9320
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| TechnoDog wrote: | | It's a dating site, she has made it clear that she want's to use it for dating. Not a social networking site. |
True, but if i didn't make her reply I wouldn't know that , so it's a win-win for both parties.
And she was bit late to clarify that, i have been chatting with her for months knowing that she doesn't want to date me.
That would teach her to be clearier with others earlier. |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:09 pm Post subject: Re: Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;). |
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| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | ... then shame them!
IF there is no apparent reason to ignore you.
A tip for guys who have been chatting with a girl on okcupid and suddenly they get ignored by the her.
This is interesting but sometimes you have to a assertive in rightful way sometimes, even on online dating like okcupid.
There's a woman that i have been chatting with on okcupid, she's 35 and she made it clear she's not interested in younger folks - fine, but i kept chatting her anyways.
Lately, every time i am sending her a hi, she visits my profile and doesn't reply. So i finally sent her "you know, what you're doing is rude, it's like ignoring someone who's saying hello in your face"
She replied after minutes!!
She said sorry and her reason that she's only wanting to use okc for dating and doesn't want to waste time. We kept chatting for a bit after that tho.
Fine - the point is that i made her reply.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this happened to me on okcupid several times
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This happened also with with a woman i know in real life and for some reason, she kept ignoring me on msn for almost two days, yet she was online green and active on FB, she even ignored my 'are you there?' whatsup messages - something that she always did when i take long to reply her, that's why i did it once, yet she ignored it.
She kept ignoring till i sent her on msn "Stop ignoring me, shall you? I am talking with you!"
She replied after seconds, apologizing, and told me a she's having a hard time ..etc etc.... the convo went smooth, deep and funny more than ever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The thing is, dear guys, that women on online dating have been used to get a lot of attention, there's a lot of supply for them, so huge that they view most guys as "dispensable objects" - so they just ignore them en masse, they have no other choice actually.
but if you were exchanging messages with her with a while or been an online buddy of her, then you, as a human being, is also entitled to be respected, and deliberately ignoring you is a lack of manner/respect.
So sometimes, it's good to "shake" her and remind her that you're not just an another dispensable subject and that you're a human being too. It's also good to not be beggy and show her you have a backbone and pride, and you demand mutual respect.
So if they ignore you deliberately, ignore back or just shame them . |
I agree that it's rude to ignore someone intentionally in most venues in life. However with respect to dating sites, sometimes ignoring someone is the most polite option.
Before I continue, let me state that your perception that women are contacted by so many men on dating sites that it's more than they can handle, is generally false. While women are probably generally contacted more than men, in most cases it's still going to be a relatively small number of men they are contacted by, especially if you deduct the men who are contacting them for invalid reasons.
But let us say, no matter the number, that women are contacted by men on dating sites.
A woman might ignore a man because she is not interested and replying to him would give him false hope, as most men would assume a reply indicates she is interested.
During my brief experience with online dating sites, of the (small number of) men who did contact me, most contacted me despite not meeting my explicitly stated criteria, and while I was flattered, I was generally not interested in these men.
Despite this, I initially responded to all of them. Though I was terse with my replies, these men seemed to interpret the fact that I replied as a sign that I was interested in them. When I attempted to politely tell them I was not interested, the majority did not take this well. One gentleman even told me to "F#ck off and die."
So why continue to open doors that put me in such a situation where I am setting myself up to be the receiver of hostility? |
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animefan
Hummingbird
Joined: Sep 19, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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I have been okcupid for a few mouths and has work for me. I had the same thing happen to meet. I actully had date with a girl, meet her, thouht the date whit well and never hear from her again.
when that happens, I just move on to some one else. It is easy to meet people on okcupid, I already meet two other girls next week and one wants to hock up. |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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Some @sshole who kept messaging me when I was either too busy or uninterested to reply would find himself blocked. 
Let alone someone who DEMANDED I talk to him.
F*ck that.
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
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Who_Am_I
almost human
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 10526
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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| ValentineWiggin wrote: | Some @sshole who kept messaging me when I was either too busy or uninterested to reply would find himself blocked.
Let alone someone who DEMANDED I talk to him.
F*ck that. |
^ This.
_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9737
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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I got ignored a lot on dating sites after sending each other a couple messages. I never felt like sending them messages calling them out on it thou because why would I want to waste my time trying to start a relationship with a girl who's going to ignore me? Even if we did somehow manage to get in a relationship; she would probably still ignore me a lot. I deserve a partner who won't ignore me & I rather not waste my time on women or friends or anyone else who would ignore me
_________________
For info about where I've been & what's up with me check this post~
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5105431.html&highlight=#5105431 |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9320
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:24 am Post subject: Re: Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;). |
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| Chronos wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | ... then shame them!
IF there is no apparent reason to ignore you.
A tip for guys who have been chatting with a girl on okcupid and suddenly they get ignored by the her.
This is interesting but sometimes you have to a assertive in rightful way sometimes, even on online dating like okcupid.
There's a woman that i have been chatting with on okcupid, she's 35 and she made it clear she's not interested in younger folks - fine, but i kept chatting her anyways.
Lately, every time i am sending her a hi, she visits my profile and doesn't reply. So i finally sent her "you know, what you're doing is rude, it's like ignoring someone who's saying hello in your face"
She replied after minutes!!
She said sorry and her reason that she's only wanting to use okc for dating and doesn't want to waste time. We kept chatting for a bit after that tho.
Fine - the point is that i made her reply.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this happened to me on okcupid several times
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This happened also with with a woman i know in real life and for some reason, she kept ignoring me on msn for almost two days, yet she was online green and active on FB, she even ignored my 'are you there?' whatsup messages - something that she always did when i take long to reply her, that's why i did it once, yet she ignored it.
She kept ignoring till i sent her on msn "Stop ignoring me, shall you? I am talking with you!"
She replied after seconds, apologizing, and told me a she's having a hard time ..etc etc.... the convo went smooth, deep and funny more than ever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The thing is, dear guys, that women on online dating have been used to get a lot of attention, there's a lot of supply for them, so huge that they view most guys as "dispensable objects" - so they just ignore them en masse, they have no other choice actually.
but if you were exchanging messages with her with a while or been an online buddy of her, then you, as a human being, is also entitled to be respected, and deliberately ignoring you is a lack of manner/respect.
So sometimes, it's good to "shake" her and remind her that you're not just an another dispensable subject and that you're a human being too. It's also good to not be beggy and show her you have a backbone and pride, and you demand mutual respect.
So if they ignore you deliberately, ignore back or just shame them . |
I agree that it's rude to ignore someone intentionally in most venues in life. However with respect to dating sites, sometimes ignoring someone is the most polite option.
Before I continue, let me state that your perception that women are contacted by so many men on dating sites that it's more than they can handle, is generally false. While women are probably generally contacted more than men, in most cases it's still going to be a relatively small number of men they are contacted by, especially if you deduct the men who are contacting them for invalid reasons.
But let us say, no matter the number, that women are contacted by men on dating sites.
A woman might ignore a man because she is not interested and replying to him would give him false hope, as most men would assume a reply indicates she is interested.
During my brief experience with online dating sites, of the (small number of) men who did contact me, most contacted me despite not meeting my explicitly stated criteria, and while I was flattered, I was generally not interested in these men.
Despite this, I initially responded to all of them. Though I was terse with my replies, these men seemed to interpret the fact that I replied as a sign that I was interested in them. When I attempted to politely tell them I was not interested, the majority did not take this well. One gentleman even told me to "F#ck off and die."
So why continue to open doors that put me in such a situation where I am setting myself up to be the receiver of hostility? |
What if the man has made it clear that he got it? |
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ToadOfSteel
unlovable
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 6716
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:48 am Post subject: |
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| ValentineWiggin wrote: | Some @sshole who kept messaging me when I was either too busy or uninterested to reply would find himself blocked.
Let alone someone who DEMANDED I talk to him.
F*ck that. |
I'm not one to do such things. I rarely send more than one message with no reply attached. And yet I keep getting ignored, even after a reply. How am I supposed to make a woman be interested in me then? Because as far as I can tell, NOBODY is... |
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