Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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All the threads I have seen so far in this matter all seems to point to the same conclusion: Violence pays.
Tip: Throwing chairs towards peoples heads hurt.. 
As too many adults in the environment ignore the issue or are misguided. And in particular parents to bullies can't deal with the fact that their kids are torturers. Teachers usually don't see what's going on. The kids themselves only seems to get the clue that bullying hurts. This is about protecting your physical safety and dealing with provocations. Being accepted and dealing with girl ostracizing requires other methods. |
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Alexender
Dodo bird
Joined: Jan 03, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 1194
Location: wrongplanet
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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My brother was called an anorexic queer, he punched the guy twice. The principal agreed with what he did but because of the rules he got one day in and out of school suspension, he did not get in trouble from our mom, since then rules for fights have gotten MUCH stricter. Something like if you are in a fight then that is at least 2 weeks suspension.
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www.wrongplanet.net |
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Radiofixr
Punished daily for being me and different
Joined: May 31, 2010
Posts: 1445
Location: PA
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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all the time and very severely I was teased every day-it was awful-I am still affected to this day.
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No Pain.-No Pain!!!! |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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I was bullied a lot as a kid and young teenager. I learned to speak up for myself and defend myself and it stopped happening.
I also got over it. It bothers me that it was done to me back then, yes it was wrong and unfair and it hurt a lot, but I can't see letting something like that control my life now. If I dwell on the fact that they were bullies and hurt me, and actually ruined part of my life, then not only did they win the situation that they bullied me in, but they win my life now.
I've heard of adults my age having PTSD to this day, and other psych problems because they were bullied when they were kids, and their bullying was no worse than mine was. I'm not putting them down for that, what I'm saying is that there is no way they can change the past, and that dwelling on it or letting it bother them at this point in their life, just ruins what life they have now and the bully (who probably doesn't even remember them) is still winning.
It's hard to learn to let go and to put things behind you, but it's something you have to learn if you ever want a shot at happiness in life.
I also dislike hearing people classify everything as "bullying". We have become a society where if someone insults you, or excludes you, or in some cases doesn't bend the rules for you, they are accused of bullying. As someone who has experienced and survived actual, severe bullying for years, I can say that it's offensive to those of us whose life was made a living hell by the crap dealt out to us by other kids to hear someone call a minor offense "bullying". But, I don't label someone who does that as a bully.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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DJFester
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 06, 2009
Posts: 1024
Location: Minneapolis MN USA
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:21 am Post subject: |
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I was bullied a lot too, mostly during elementary and middle school. Once I grew to my "adult" size and learned to stand up to the bullies, most of it stopped. I don't let memories of it ruin my life anymore, though. I've recently learned to let stuff like that go, instead of letting it eat away at me.
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You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks. |
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Squirsh
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 18, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 499
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:47 am Post subject: |
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I've been bullied from the age of 5 to the age of 16 by various different people. I can only remember one 10 month period before I was 16 where nobody deliberately harrassed me, intimidated me, or otherwise tried to make me feel awful. Even that period of peace was kind of ruined by constantly being on guard and expecting somebody to try and hurt me.
The vast majority of the bullying I experienced was verbal and psychological. I have mixed feelings about this because although I'm glad I haven't experienced being beaten up (although I did receive physical bullying between the ages of 5 and 10 in the form of frequently having my hair pulled, being shoved around and stuff like that) I often wonder if teachers would've taken it more seriously if I had been left with physical injuries.
I tried to tell teachers when I was younger, but the longer I experienced the bullying without anyone taking it seriously, the less I felt that people cared. Eventually I just thought that perhaps nobody wanted to help me because I somehow deserved the way I was treated, and I stopped trying to get help.
By the time the verbal bullying escalated to the point where a couple of people were threatening to kill me, and an older boy at a holiday playscheme I had to attend every school holiday joked about raping me (I was 9 at the time), I'd reached a point where I just thought everything was my fault and didn't think anyone would take it seriously if I told them so I kept it to myself.
Looking back, I think perhaps the reason it was hard for some people to take my situation seriously is that people who aren't quite so sensitive to what other people think of them can't fully empathise with a situation like experiencing intense self hatred due to being told you're fat and worthless almost every day, because that's the sort of thing they're able to ignore when it happens to them. Verbal bullying is most damaging when you already believe those sorts of things about yourself, because hearing it from other people just confirms it.
It's been less than 2 years since the last time I was bullied. I'm still a bit wary of people but I think bit by bit I'm getting over the things that people did. Thankfully I've not been emotionally damaged to the point where I think everyone's out to get me. I know there are some very good people in this world, and some of those good people are people I now call my friends. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:51 am Post subject: |
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| Alexender wrote: | | My brother was called an anorexic queer, he punched the guy twice. The principal agreed with what he did but because of the rules he got one day in and out of school suspension, he did not get in trouble from our mom, since then rules for fights have gotten MUCH stricter. Something like if you are in a fight then that is at least 2 weeks suspension. |
I like how its just if you're in a fight, so you get punished even if all you where doing was defending yourself...but at least the person who started the fight gets in trouble to I guess that's some improvement.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:58 am Post subject: |
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I tried martial arts for a while when I was in middle school....but It was too exhausting and I didn't get anywhere. The state of my back kind of limits my movements and I always seem behind or more clumsy then everyone else when I try organized physical activities so its embarrasing. But luckily I did not face too much physical bullying, there where a couple incidents though.....but yeah I am sure if someone attacked me and I tried to defend myself, or if they said something that upset me/angered me and I tried to stand up for myself but only provoked them to do that......I'd get my ass kicked, though I'd do my best to put up a good fight. Hopefully the occasional mosh pits have helped somewhat with my pain tolerance. lol
So though I have not faced much bullying since I've been an adult.....I am afraid of running into it, because I could hardly handle it as a child and I imagine adults have worse ways of bullying people.
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rebbieh
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 16, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 1158
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:07 am Post subject: |
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I never experienced any physical bullying. But psychological. Verbal abuse and internet bullying. They called me names, they trash talked me behind my back or to my face, they told me to commit suicide, they spread rumours, took the few friends I had away from me, they froze me out etc. And also, they made mean social experiments on me. Like this one time, one guy started hanging out with me (I was 13 at the time) and he was really nice to me. After a while when I thought we were close friends he sat down next to me, laughed and said "I don't like you. You just looked so lonely I thought I'd see what happened if I got close to you. Well, I'm not your friend" and then he never hung out with me again. He joined the other guys and started trash talking me instead.
I still don't know why. I don't think about it an awful lot, but sometimes I wonder if I would've been different if I wouldn't have been bullied all those years.
Last edited by rebbieh on Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:10 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:09 am Post subject: |
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| rebbieh wrote: | I never experienced any physical bullying. But psychological. Verbal abuse and internet bullying. They called me names, they trash talked me behind my back or to my face, they told me to commit suicide, they spread rumours, took the few friends I had away from me, they froze me out etc. And also, they made mean social experiments on me. Like this one time, one guy started hanging out with me (I was 13 at the time) and he was really nice to me. After a while when I thought we were close friends he sat down next to me, laughed and said "I don't like you. You just looked to lonely so I thought I'd see what happened if I got close to you. Well, I'm not your friend" and then he never hung out with me again. He joined the other guys and started trash talking me instead.
I still don't know why. I don't think about it an awful lot, but sometimes I wonder if I would've been different if I wouldn't have been bullied all those years. |
I had people do things like that to me....like in middle school I thought I had friends, well until they ditched me at a halloween costume dance and started being jerks to me the next day. That was depressing......and if I remember my dads the one who picked me up and he could tell there was something up because I kind of realized it actually was rude of them to have just disappeared without even telling me so it dawned on me and so I was quite clearly kind of upset.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8408
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:20 am Post subject: |
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I remember when I was about 12 these older boys kept calling me Japanese every time I walked by them. I didn't know them and they didn't know me, but they seemed to recogise me and pick on me only, and I got very confused because I looked nothing like a Japanese person. But when I tried asking why they're saying this to me, they never answered, just kept saying, ''hi Japanese''. Even when I saw them in the street, they still said it. I wouldn't call that bullying, but it still made me feel upset and it felt like I was just being singled out, being called something that had nothing to do with my appearence, communication or actions. Even when I told a teacher she looked very confused as to why they were calling me Japanese when I looked nothing like a Japanese person (I had blonde hair, blue eyes, faint freckles, and my face was a completely different shape to the Japanese breed, and my eyes were normal size, not slanted or anything like the common Japanese style, I looked like an ordinary English person).
I never got bullied as such. I just had people pick on me over such weird things.
I didn't tell my mum because she was going through a bit of a rough time and I didn't want to add any more stress or worries to her list, but I told some of the teachers. But after about a year, the boys had left school and I haven't seen them to this day.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
Last edited by Joe90 on Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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luvsterriers
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 03, 2009
Posts: 2101
Location: Fairfax, VA
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:06 am Post subject: |
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So your parents didn't do anything about the bullying?? 
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In memory of my beloved best friend in the whole world, my West Highland White Terrier, Timmy (Nov 24 2004-Sep 5 2011)
Anna
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Keeno
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 09, 2006
Posts: 4948
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:28 am Post subject: |
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| Not at all. |
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LongLostSelf
Raven
Joined: Jan 31, 2012
Age: 38
Posts: 107
Location: Newcastle UK
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 7:29 am Post subject: |
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I wasnt bullied at school because i would just told them to F off or punched them. however i seemed to lose all ability or will to stick up for myself during my 20s because of anxiety and depression etc and as a result i experienced two cases of very bad bullying, manipulation and mental abuse, one case by someone who started off as a freind and the other through work.
I would now like to think im more like i was when i was younger and wouldnt take any sh** anymore but i will never get over the shame of being a bully victim |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8408
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:18 am Post subject: |
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I'm being more bullied as an adult than when I did as a child. Goes to show people just don't grow up these days. If I had a machine gun there will be a lot of people on my list, I tell ya that.
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From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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