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iDoVooDoo
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 11
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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:27 pm Post subject: AspE |
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| You are absolutely right; he is a man. Hence, my dilemma. He has been known to complain about his situation from time to time, and it makes a lot of sense to jump on the opportunity when it arises. I like that idea. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| hoegaandit wrote: | From an old fashioned dad in his fifties of a 17yo diagnosed first ADD and then as on the autistic spectrum, I was inclined like your husband to get my son to toughen up and just deal with things as you would a normal kid.
I don't think the evidence in my life shows that that works. If I get angry with my son it just inclines him to clamming up at best and a meltdown at worst. (Echoing Austin Power's father "If you got an issue here's a tissue" and laughing loudly did not quite cut it). He has actually been opening up quite a bit to a school counsellor, from what I can see, so perhaps a third party like that can avoid the issues he may have with opening up to family (initially at least).
I think we just need to accept that it is a great deal more difficult for an autistic child to cope with the real world, and a great deal more work is required for an autistic child/teenager/young man or woman. There are a lot of resources on this site. A book called "Strange Kid" available on the net gives a good perspective from an autistic person's point of view. |
I don't know that the goal of NT upbringing should be toughen up and just deal with it either, I imagine one does not have to be autistic to have their feelings hurt by parents who never offer comfort and just 'here's a tissue ha ha ha!' when they express worries, concerns. But its cool you where able to recognize that was 'not' working and try a different approach that is something i can respect.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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