Special-Person
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 11
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:51 pm Post subject: Alert |
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My family are rednecks and I'm a complicated, deep thinker.
Should I hitch hike to the city?
Last edited by Special-Person on Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:22 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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MrXxx
Moderator/Enigmatus Paradoxius
Joined: May 12, 2010
Posts: 5678
Location: New England
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:07 am Post subject: |
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Moved from Bipolor etc. to The Haven.
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MrXxx is taking a long sabbatical, and no longer moderating. |
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AspieAshley
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 16, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 174
Location: Bloomington, MN
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:30 am Post subject: |
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I feel exactly about my parents, child opression and the world as you do. It is unacceptable and needs to change. And yes, my parents gave me the "just move out and deal" with it mantra. Sort of like, forget sending me off! Give me the parenting and support you never gave me!
But being a person who tells the truth in a world that runs on lies is difficult no matter where you live...
EDIT: I should mention that the "Give me parenting" qoute is something my phone counselor gave me.
_________________
Letting go is not a skill--it's the lazy way out. The real skill is having the courage to stand up for yourself and demand justice.
I'm not mentally ill--the world is!
Last edited by AspieAshley on Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:06 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Kail
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 373
Location: MEXICO
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:55 am Post subject: |
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| AspieAshley wrote: | I feel exactly about my parents, child opression and the world as you do. It is unacceptable and needs to change. And yes, my parents gave me the "just move out and deal" with it mantra. Sort of like, forget sending me off! Give me the parenting and support you never gave me!
But being a person who tells the truth in a world that runs on lies is difficult no matter where you live... |
AMEN! ashley knows!
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mushroo
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 15, 2011
Posts: 492
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:11 am Post subject: |
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My advice, and it is maybe not what you want to hear: Make peace with your parents while they are still alive. You will be grateful for it later in life.
I am sorry to hear of your problems and wish you the best. You are an adult now and you will be OK, have faith. |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:14 am Post subject: Reaching the end of your rope. |
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Don't hitch hike, it's not safe. There are too many dangerous weirdos out there. If you have any acquaintance, or other relative, or a local clergy person that you know, see if one of them can take you, or knows some one who can take you to a nearby town or city, where you can try to get some help. Maybe you can check yourself into the hospital for a psych evaluation, as a charity patient. By law they can't refuse to treat you. Just tell them you are homeless. Basically it's true. Tell them how depressed you are, and that you think you are on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum, and need help dealing with it.
If you can't find anyone to take you, then walk to the nearest big town or city. I used to walk a lot when I was your age, including between towns. I remember one trip to the neighboring big town I took by bus. I spent hours walking around shopping, and then exploring parts of that town I had not been in before. When I was ready to come home, the next bus wasn't due for a while, so I decided to walk home. It was a long walk, but it was day light, and I didn't care. I had good knees back then. Wish I still did.
You and your family are totally incompatible. You won't do well going back there. You and your family drive each other crazy, as you are too much of a mismatch.
Now find someone to take you or take a walk there yourself to get help. You need help, but it's up to you to go get it. As soon as it's day light get started. |
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AnnieDog
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 158
Location: New England
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:22 am Post subject: |
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I agree with Questor, it's time to get out. Much like a penalty box in Hockey, I believe there are times when people need separation from each other to be able to have a vaguely normal relationship. I think you've hit that with your family and can leave with the vague hope that you may be able to have civil conversations later. Scrounge together whatever money you can and bum a ride from someone. A few awkward suggestions:
- Maybe your family will give you starting money under some type of agreement. If they were willing to invest in you by paying for your food and housing, will they chip in $1000 for the road and $500 a month for the next six months while you're gone? (adjust those numbers as appropriate for your family but start high and negotiate - the worst you get is nothing for 30 minutes of decent begging.)
- Can you do something low key and short term for some extra traveling money? Mow a few lawns, help a neighbor with baking, anything?
- Yes, a good shelter/vocational program in another city could be good. It could be bad too. Keep your wits about you. If it feels bad (a la creepy guy) then trust your gut and don't stay.
- You may need to sleep one place, get job help in another, and eat in a third. If you can afford it, get a local bus pass.
- Because you're a woman, there may be special help available to you. If you have a chance, look for program like that near you and aim for it. (http://www.rosiesplace.org and http://www.womenslunchplace.org are two examples from Boston)
- Pack one backpack. It's too hard to keep track of stuff or be mobile if you carry too much. I travel with: 1 towel, 1 spork, 1 grannyware mug, 3-5 changes of clothes suitable for work/church, 1 set of sleeping clothes, 1 bottle of castile soap, and 1 stick of deodorant. Add your sleeping bag, if you have one and a book, if you can.
- Be open to taking on new jobs/tasks and trying them out.
- Most importantly, no one will know the person who is reading this today. In a new place, you're not "Jane's daughter" or "that troubled girl". Use this as a chance to be who you have been trying to be. Present yourself to the world accordingly.
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Apologies if I sound judgmental, preachy, dictatorial, offensive or overly rigid. Constructive criticism via PM is welcome. |
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Special-Person
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks everyone. This is some good advice.
Last edited by Special-Person on Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:19 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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AspieAshley
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 16, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 174
Location: Bloomington, MN
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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I spent quite a bit of time thinking about this last night.
How far is the city? Second questor, is there anyone who might be able to take you? Do you have some idea of what you are looking to find in the city? An escape, a fresh start, disability services, better mental health services, a place to live? I'm trying to gauge the likelihood that you'll find it...
Lots of young adults who are being scapegoated by their families find that they are much more accepted in college or a big city than they are at home, but if the problem is that your parents are trying to get rid of you and force you to fend for yourself...
_________________
Letting go is not a skill--it's the lazy way out. The real skill is having the courage to stand up for yourself and demand justice.
I'm not mentally ill--the world is!
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14799
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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That sounds pretty terrible, it angers me that someones parents would treat them that way.....sorry you have to deal with that. But anyways are there any mental health services in the area? they might be able to help you if you explain what is going on, but you might have to look up on the internet if there is anything like that close enough you could get to. If nothing else I can't say trying to get help at a homeless shelter would be too horrible of an idea, I mean I think the important thing is to find a way to get away from your parents.....I hate to say that, but its not right what they are doing and it seems like it might be nessisary to seek outside help.
Is there a bus service you have access to? that might help with getting to the city or whatever.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Special-Person
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:31 am Post subject: |
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| AspieAshley wrote: | I spent quite a bit of time thinking about this last night.
How far is the city? Second questor, is there anyone who might be able to take you? Do you have some idea of what you are looking to find in the city? An escape, a fresh start, disability services, better mental health services, a place to live? I'm trying to gauge the likelihood that you'll find it...
Lots of young adults who are being scapegoated by their families find that they are much more accepted in college or a big city than they are at home, but if the problem is that your parents are trying to get rid of you and force you to fend for yourself... |
There is no bus that goes from the town to the city. Not sure if anyone can take me in...
Last edited by Special-Person on Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:19 pm; edited 7 times in total |
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Special-Person
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:41 am Post subject: |
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| mushroo wrote: | My advice, and it is maybe not what you want to hear: Make peace with your parents while they are still alive. You will be grateful for it later in life.
I am sorry to hear of your problems and wish you the best. You are an adult now and you will be OK, have faith. |
I'm trying to get along with them. It takes a lot of concentration. |
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