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Shadewraith
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 223
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:35 am Post subject: I need a second opinion |
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I asked this in the general autism forum because it has a lot to do with lack of empathy, but there's more to it that makes the subject belong here. I've been diagnosed with Asperger's, general anxiety disorder, and bipolar disorder. I do meet the criteria for all of those, but there are things about me that I can't seem to connect to any of those diagnoses.
- Homicidal Ideation/Torture Fantasies. They used to be with composite, faceless people, but now I'm starting to think of people I've seen or know.
- Obsessive love in my relationship (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_love). It hasn't gotten to the point that it's become a problem, but I show many of the signs.
- I only really care about two people in my life: my fiancee and my best friend. I also adore animals. I wouldn't do anything to cause them harm or allow them to be harmed.
- I don't have any feeling towards my parents (or relatives). If they died tomorrow, I'd be more concerned about how I'm going to go on without their financial support.
- I see most people as bad, annoying, obnoxious, or boring.
- Lack of motivation and interest in anything. I get bored with things very quickly. I've also gotten bored with jobs/school and stopped showing up.
- I'm very "me" oriented.
- The thought of being rich and/or powerful makes me happy. I often fantasize about having god-like powers and changing the entire world to my liking.
- I give up on things quickly. If I can't be the best at something in a group of peers, I get frustrated and want to quit.
- When I was younger, I used to constantly watch videos of beheading, suicide, torture, and self-mutilation. I've even seen videos of a teacher beating his young students while they cry. It doesn't phase me. However, I can't stomach watching those ASPCA commercials.
- I lie when it benefits me and I've stolen a lot of money in the past.
- I don't do any of these bad things if there's a chance of consequence. Being put in jail or a mental hospital isn't worth losing the things that are important to me.
Other people have said that I might be a sociopath, but I don't meet even the minimum requirements for it. I don't have a grandiose sense of self. While I still dislike laws, I still follow them because being confined would ruin my life. I'm very impulsive and reckless, especially with money, but I can still stop myself from doing something that would get me in trouble with the law. I'm able to love and care, though it's limited to a select few. I didn't have many conduct problems when I was younger. I've also never made a habit out of manipulating people, though I have done it in the past.
My psychiatrist knows about this and still says I'm bipolar, but I haven't found a connection between bipolar and the things listed above. Maybe he's ignoring it or I'm just not looking in the right place. Is there something other than ASPD that would describe me? I'm not trying to self-diagnose, but I just feel like there are still things not categorized and it's preventing me from functioning.
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:55 am Post subject: |
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I would basically print out your post and show it to him and ask him to explain what you seem to be missing. It's your diagnosis, so you have a right to have it explained to your satisfaction. If he won't or can't do that, then I'd suggest taking your concerns, and your case, to another doctor.
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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ghostar
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 21, 2011
Age: 33
Posts: 402
Location: Most likely work. Sigh.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:56 am Post subject: |
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I agree with OliveOilMom. I also agree that you are not a sociopath.
If anything, you exhibit signs of post traumatic stress disorder in someone that was already bipolar. A complex case to be sure. |
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Shadewraith
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 223
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:10 am Post subject: |
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PTSD would certainly describe a lot of those problems. I'll bring it up to him and see what he says.
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ghostar
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 21, 2011
Age: 33
Posts: 402
Location: Most likely work. Sigh.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| Shadewraith wrote: | | PTSD would certainly describe a lot of those problems. I'll bring it up to him and see what he says. |
Keep us updated on your findings. I am interested. I have PTSD coupled with heavy Aspie traits so my PTSD symptoms were not too obviously PTSD at first glance by my therapist and psychaitrist. I suspect your experience might be similar except with bipolar. |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1841
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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I have similar symptoms
- Homicidal Ideation/Torture Fantasies. They used to be with composite, faceless people, but now I'm starting to think of people I've seen or know.
Occassionally want to kill my mom, brother and few relatives
- Obsessive love in my relationship (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_love). It hasn't gotten to the point that it's become a problem, but I show many of the signs.
my obsession went out of control and i was almost erotomaniac
- I only really care about two people in my life: my fiancee and my best friend. I also adore animals. I wouldn't do anything to cause them harm or allow them to be harmed.
i love animals too
- I don't have any feeling towards my parents (or relatives). If they died tomorrow, I'd be more concerned about how I'm going to go on without their financial support.
same here
- I see most people as bad, annoying, obnoxious, or boring.
no i like talking with people but yes i do feel they are bad
- Lack of motivation and interest in anything. I get bored with things very quickly. I've also gotten bored with jobs/school and stopped showing up.
ya i get bored easily i join a activity then quit it after few days
- I'm very "me" oriented.
same here
- The thought of being rich and/or powerful makes me happy. I often fantasize about having god-like powers and changing the entire world to my liking.
again same thinking
- I give up on things quickly. If I can't be the best at something in a group of peers, I get frustrated and want to quit.
most of the time happens with me
- When I was younger, I used to constantly watch videos of beheading, suicide, torture, and self-mutilation. I've even seen videos of a teacher beating his young students while they cry. It doesn't phase me. However, I can't stomach watching those ASPCA commercials.
no i cant watch such stuff its gruesome
- I lie when it benefits me and I've stolen a lot of money in the past.
yes me too
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let me know what you get diagnosed with
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Shadewraith
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 223
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:19 am Post subject: |
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My doctor definitely agrees that I have PTSD as well as a severe depression that has been resistant to several combinations of medication. That, coupled with being an aspie makes me a difficult case.
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1841
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:35 am Post subject: |
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| Shadewraith wrote: | | My doctor definitely agrees that I have PTSD as well as a severe depression that has been resistant to several combinations of medication. That, coupled with being an aspie makes me a difficult case. |
i have maniac episodes also and cannot follow social rules or understand social cues
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slave
Always stuck between 13-38Hz and tired of it.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 100
Posts: 1320
Location: Dystopia Planetia
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Shadewraith wrote: | | My doctor definitely agrees that I have PTSD as well as a severe depression that has been resistant to several combinations of medication. That, coupled with being an aspie makes me a difficult case. |
Many people with PTSD have a level of deep pain and helplessness that 'normals' can't understand. That pain can manifest itself in the darkness that you describe. It is essential that you find some way to reduce the amount of pressure inside of you. A PTSD expert may be necessary as your problems sound complex and your pain profound.
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