Post 4514391 - (Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;).)

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Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;).

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Who_Am_I
almost human
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:53 pm Post subject:

nick007 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^I edited my previous post

I see that, I feel my point still applies...but I am only trying to point out possible variables not that everything I say necessarily applies to you or your situations.

Yes, you have a point, but why one would be online and available if she doesn't feel to talk?

When this woman (the one i know in real life and later started initiating convos with me) that she's feeling bad and doesn't walk to talk to anyone, I told her "then why are you online and green on msn? MSN messenger is invented for talking".

She burst bit in anger saying things like "you're not funny ! I just want to be online!...etc etc".

I kept corning her - now she's one who's wanting to talk me, even asking me to tell her about my feelings and troubles in life. Ha.

Maybe she really did want to chat but was saying she didn't want to trying to elicit sympathy sense she was feeling bad Confused

Maybe she has other MSN friends besides you and wanted to talk to them?
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hyperlexian
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:39 pm Post subject:

i am not gonna judge what other people do on dating sites when it comes to messaging, but here is what i did... i replied to every single message. it didn't matter if the message was creepy or annoying or whatever... because i had the power to block responses. so i would tell them EXACTLY why i didn't want contact anymore, for example: "in your profile, you said you want athletic women aged 18 to 29. i am fat and 39 so i do not fit your criteria." "you sent me 4 messages in 20 minutes and i find that really overwhelming" "your profile is empty" "you're being too pushy about meeting in person already and it freaks me out" etc. and THEN... i would immediately block them so they could not respond. _________________ on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5043493.html#5043493

Sweetleaf
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:02 pm Post subject:

hyperlexian wrote:

i am not gonna judge what other people do on dating sites when it comes to messaging, but here is what i did... i replied to every single message.

it didn't matter if the message was creepy or annoying or whatever... because i had the power to block responses. so i would tell them EXACTLY why i didn't want contact anymore, for example:

"in your profile, you said you want athletic women aged 18 to 29. i am fat and 39 so i do not fit your criteria."
"you sent me 4 messages in 20 minutes and i find that really overwhelming"
"your profile is empty"
"you're being too pushy about meeting in person already and it freaks me out"
etc.

and THEN... i would immediately block them so they could not respond. Very Happy

I would not want to say things that could cause them to want to respond only to block them so they cant because I know how frustrating that sort of thing can be...but that's just me.
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hyperlexian
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:05 pm Post subject:

at first i left it open for them to respond back, but if they responded back it was NEVER in a friendly way, no matter how nicely i worded the rejection (but most did not respond at all). _________________ on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5043493.html#5043493

The_Face_of_Boo
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:35 am Post subject:

hyperlexian wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

hyperlexian
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:42 am Post subject:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

i always sent the final message and did not leave anyone hanging. the disadvantage to that was that my response rate showed as green ("always replies"), which apparently makes people think someone is desperate. i remember reading somewhere that it is better not to reply all the time so that you look choosier.

i thought courtesy was important (sort of - if i was truly courteous i wouldn't block anyone).
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Boxman108
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:52 am Post subject:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

That's odd. I'd rather avoid people who only respond rarely because often they come across as stuck up and really not friendly in general.
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TechnoDog
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:40 am Post subject:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

Seems strange to have that option showing. They is no reason to show it really. Since it has a negative word attached to it.
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ValentineWiggin
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:07 am Post subject:

So demanding a response in the initial messages = rude Demanding a response in subsequent ones = a-okay. Got it. _________________ "Such is the Frailty of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own. They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds to his Interest."

Tim_Tex
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:11 am Post subject:

But there's one big question: How can one tell if someone is ignoring them deliberately, or just busy and haven't had the time to reply? It isn't like we can get inside their minds and know for sure what they're thinking. _________________ <<<=== This is not the devil, this is the Red Guy from Cow and Chicken.

ValentineWiggin
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:16 am Post subject:

Tim_Tex wrote:

But there's one big question:

How can one tell if someone is ignoring them deliberately, or just busy and haven't had the time to reply? It isn't like we can get inside their minds and know for sure what they're thinking.

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.
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of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
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Tim_Tex
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:17 am Post subject:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.

That's what I meant. But is there a surefire way to know which of those is the case?
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TechnoDog
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:29 am Post subject:

Tim_Tex wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.

That's what I meant. But is there a surefire way to know which of those is the case?

Either way, you just take it as they are ignoring you. That way you don't need to think about it. Then if you do get a reply... Saves you wondering.
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Keeno
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:40 am Post subject:

I've occasionally sent women messages online similar to what you did, The Face of Boo. Not on any dating site (I won't use them) but on other forms of online communication. Seems like you were lucky to get the type of replies you did. Most women are not as polite as that in their replies to the types of messages we sent. I've sent such messages when frustrated at being ignored for no apparent reason. Most of the time I know it's pointless to get upset about it, and will leave them be. Live and let live. It's their prerogative to reject us, unfortunately, as much as I hate it. Just as I exercise my own right to ignore or block most people who send me messages online, as they're almost always messaging me to ask stupid questions or to make homosexual advances, when I categorically don't share their sexuality.