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Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 839
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 Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:03 pm Post subject: Communication: How to get people to leave you alone |
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How do you get people to leave you alone and stop going on and on about something?
I dont know how to communicate to people that they need to back off without getting aggressive, so am wanting some better approaches to try. Any suggestions? |
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glasstoria
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 03, 2011
Posts: 454
Location: Missouri USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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sometimes when my dad is going on and on, or just talking too much and saying the same things over and over, I just say "I need to talk now!" and then say what I need to say. Or I just say "I need to go check my email" or feed the cat or fold my laundry and then walk away.
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 839
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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| glasstoria wrote: | | sometimes when my dad is going on and on, or just talking too much and saying the same things over and over, I just say "I need to talk now!" and then say what I need to say. Or I just say "I need to go check my email" or feed the cat or fold my laundry and then walk away. |
Thanks, Ill give that a go...that seems like a much nicer way of getting the message across  |
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GumbyLives
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 768
Location: LV-426
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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You can lie and tell them you have a headache and ask if you can do or talk about this another time. That works sometimes. Sometimes I pretend that my phone has vibrated and then pretend to read a text, and then tell them "excuse me, I have to take care of this. Sorry!" and I leave.
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Alexender
Dodo bird
Joined: Jan 03, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 1194
Location: wrongplanet
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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Say I need to pee. or I am sorry but I need to go to the bathroom.
Someone will probably freak out on here though cause that suggestion entails lying
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 839
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| Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Ok, so is the basic formula: firmly change subject, redirecting both your attention and the other persons attention, and then physically distance self from the other person if necessary? |
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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No, you lie and then stick to it. I can't do this either. You could just say "I see. Anyways..." to change topics when they are done talking. This would work about half the time, but at least it would be obvious. I usually just bluntly state "this is boring me" and change subject...it doesn't help much.
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Brodi56
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 28, 2012
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Alexender wrote: | Say I need to pee. or I am sorry but I need to go to the bathroom.
Someone will probably freak out on here though cause that suggestion entails lying |
When you get to my age (55) you can pretty much pee on demand, so saying "I need to pee" wouldn't be dishonest. |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6339
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Start to ignore them. |
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Uprising
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 10, 2012
Posts: 2942
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Fart in their face. |
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fraac
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Posts: 1865
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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| I use a thing I saw in Green Wing (British sitcom a few years ago) where you say "Can I just stop you there?" as if you're going to interject with a point, but instead you walk away. |
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 839
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:12 am Post subject: |
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| fraac wrote: | | I use a thing I saw in Green Wing (British sitcom a few years ago) where you say "Can I just stop you there?" as if you're going to interject with a point, but instead you walk away. |
Oh how I would love to do this, but I cannot handle people being angry with me. If I do something like this, as good as it would feel to me, and as much as I would love to see the reaction (however this can not be seen while also walking away), trying to deal with an emotional person I find next to impossible. This would be especially detrimental to my own situation if used on the people I live with, however I like the thought, it would just make the following time until the other person moved on hard to handle. I need a response that is as positive as possible. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:36 am Post subject: |
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If it's somebody going on about something then just say "I'm sorry, but I really gotta run (make a phone call/get this finished/go to the bathroom whatever) I'll get back with you as soon as I can. Promise! Later!" and turn around and walk off or hang up. If you are on the phone you can say anything and they won't know if it's true. "Doorbell, I gotta go" or "Holy sh** my feet just spontaneously combusted, I'll call you back" or whatever.
If it's somebody who is annoying that you want to avoid, sometimes this works. When you are leaving if they say "See you later" you say "Not if I see you first."
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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Alexender
Dodo bird
Joined: Jan 03, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 1194
Location: wrongplanet
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:25 am Post subject: |
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| Brodi56 wrote: | | Alexender wrote: | Say I need to pee. or I am sorry but I need to go to the bathroom.
Someone will probably freak out on here though cause that suggestion entails lying |
When you get to my age (55) you can pretty much pee on demand, so saying "I need to pee" wouldn't be dishonest. |
I giggled
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Alexender wrote: | | Brodi56 wrote: | | Alexender wrote: | Say I need to pee. or I am sorry but I need to go to the bathroom.
Someone will probably freak out on here though cause that suggestion entails lying |
When you get to my age (55) you can pretty much pee on demand, so saying "I need to pee" wouldn't be dishonest. |
I giggled |
Telling a lie, especially to get out of an uncomfortable situation, is not the end of the world or something that is so very wrong.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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