Quarky
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 15, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 32
Location: 221b
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 Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:35 pm Post subject: Do I look like a lesbian? |
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| People usually assume that I'm a lesbian. I know that "lesbian" isn't a certain look but it's a bit strange that people automatically label me. I don't know why. Women will flirt with me, and I guess I'm okay with that. I don't particularly like any gender. Men sort of avoid me. By my profile picture, do I look like a lesbian? Ideas? |
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IdahoRose
Imaginary Friend
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Joined: Feb 25, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 18651
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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You don't look like a lesbian to me. I'm envious of you - I wish other women would flirt with me, but they either avoid me or treat me like a child.  |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:21 pm Post subject: Re: Do I look like a lesbian? |
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| Quarky wrote: | | People usually assume that I'm a lesbian. I know that "lesbian" isn't a certain look but it's a bit strange that people automatically label me. I don't know why. Women will flirt with me, and I guess I'm okay with that. I don't particularly like any gender. Men sort of avoid me. By my profile picture, do I look like a lesbian? Ideas? |
You look Persian. Perhaps you should change your hair style though. |
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momsparky
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Posts: 2737
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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Many people on the spectrum get this (so much so that it's a few pages in the "Complete Guide to Asperger's.") Gender and sexual identity are personal, but how you express those identities is a form of social communication and pragmatic speech, both of which can be deficits for someone on the spectrum.
Your profile picture doesn't really tell me anything, and I don't think it's what people are referring to - people tend to make assumptions about sexual identity for all kinds of reasons: clothing choice, physical bearing, speaking style, personality etc. (even though all these things have all kinds of other implications and don't directly have anything to do with sexuality)
Basically, it's not really that important unless you are trying to attract men, or trying not to attract women. Is either of those things a problem for you? |
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Yuxi
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 13, 2011
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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You must be out of their league.
I have a friend - male - who's so stylish, people think he's gay, what he's not...
You remind me of an Italian actress, but I don't remember her name.
I wouldn't go as far as to say you look androgynous but I think I know what you mean...
Yep, the haircut would be a solution. Find a coach to feminize you if you want to take to problem in it's whole.
It also depends on your manners which could be those of boy...? |
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diniesaur
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 03, 2011
Posts: 639
Location: in the Ministry of Silly Walks
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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 I don't know what sexuality you look like, but I do know that you're beautiful!
| IdahoRose wrote: | | You don't look like a lesbian to me. I'm envious of you - I wish other women would flirt with me, but they either avoid me or treat me like a child. |
Yeah, same here... |
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CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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You look very feminine and attractive, imho  Not that lesbians don't look feminine or attractive, mind you. They come in all looks and sizes, like any other group of people. But the lesbian stereoytpe is butch and tomboy-ish, and you definitely don't look that way.
Aspies are often mistaken for being gay or lesbian. I don't think it has anything to do with the way we look, but rather with our gender-atypical body language and speech patterns. |
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Ria1989
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 19, 2011
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think you give off a lesbian vibe; you're attractive and I think that a lesbian would try hard to see if you're lesbian too.
I have the opposite problem. People assume I'm so good, that I'd never drink, smoke, have sex, etc. It makes me angry as I want them to know I'm bisexual. I feel like I'm missing out on opportunities, though I've learned to make my identity a bit more obvious. People have always stereotyped me into a group that I'm not in. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 12:01 am Post subject: |
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| No but then again I no lesbiens that dress like striat girls. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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I can't pick up on a lesbian look. I have no gay-dar for lesbians, although I pick it up from guys a lot, whether they show any stereotypical "traits" or not. I'm actually pretty good at telling if an effeminate guy is straight or gay, or if a butch guy is straight or gay. Then again, I was a fag hag back in the day.
As for women, I can't pick up on it at all. There are some "stereotypical traits" but as with any stereotype they don't always show up on those they are about and they show up on some that they aren't about. I have straight friends who have that really short buzz haircut, dress in jeans and flannel shirts and don't wear makeup and have male oriented jobs, but are married with kids and straight as the day is long. (I had one gay friend who was married with kids before she finally came out when her son moved out of the house, so I threw that in that she's straight because some people are either in the closet or don't realize it until later in life)
As for the OP, your hairstyle and coloring reminds me a bit of Joan Jett, and people always said she was gay. However, I think Joan Jett is da bomb and gorgeous and I've always wanted to look like her. She's hot no matter what your orientation is, and I'd give my right arm to look like her! SHe really looked bad once that I've seen her, in that one episode of Highlander she was in. Her skin looked bad, and I think that might have been something that the makeup artists did for the character, because in the final scene when she showed up looking like the real Joan Jett, she looked great again. She aged well too.
So, I don't know why. Maybe you have characteristics that the stereotypical lesbian has and the people who say that to you are going on stereotypes. We all know those aren't true, but lots of people want to believe them. I don't want to offend, and don't mean this offensive at all, but I'll try and think of what some stereotypical traits are of lesbians that people may think you have.
Non feminine mannerisms. Walking or sitting like a guy or carrying yourself like a guy.
A certain way of speaking that I can't really describe. It's not "sounding like a guy" it's a type of enunciation of the words that's almost academic that you see a lot of lesbians in tv shows and stuff do.
Dressing casually in situations where other women dress less casually, or wearing man tailored clothing exclusively.
Having a traditionally male oriented job - construction, mechanic, fireman, police, etc
Those are the ones I can think of right now that some people tend to associate with being a lesbian. Of course, I think that if people have any question about what someone's sexuality is, and they are close friends enough with the person for it to be any of their business, they should just ask right out. It wouldn't offend me if someone were to ask me, and I've been asked out by lesbians before and I didn't get offended at all, I was flattered. I don't care if it's the same sex or not, I'm just happy that somebody somewhere thinks I'm attractive. I get no more offended by being asked out by women than I would by being asked out with a man that I'm not attracted to.
I think the next time someone asks if you are a lesbian, or assumes that you are, you should just say "No, why do you ask?" Tell them you won't get offended if they tell you, because some people think they are "dissing you" by pointing out something like that, when it's not dissing at all.
I've known lesbians who were in the process of an operation and who read as men, lesbians who aren't getting the surgery and still read as men, lesbians who fit the stereotypical butch, lesbians who fit the soccar mom, lesbians who fit the cheerleader, debutante, supermodel, and lesbians who fit all sorts of "types" of women. I've known straight women who fit all those types too, so it's not something that you can actually tell, unless you ask or they volunteer to tell you.
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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Bun
Bunnymen
Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Put a pic of yourself with another women, and then we'll talk.  |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Bun wrote: | | Put a pic of yourself with another women, and then we'll talk. |
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puddingmouse
exclamation mark!
Joined: Apr 25, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 7066
Location: Mega City 3
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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| IdahoRose wrote: | | You don't look like a lesbian to me. I'm envious of you - I wish other women would flirt with me, but they either avoid me or treat me like a child. |
Same here.
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I'm as ugly as sin and twice as sweet. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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| puddingmouse wrote: | | IdahoRose wrote: | | You don't look like a lesbian to me. I'm envious of you - I wish other women would flirt with me, but they either avoid me or treat me like a child. |
Same here. |
I have this problem when it comes to men they see me as some one that would bash them instead of dating them. |
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Pileo
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 305
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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It's come to my attention while car shopping that the Subaru Outback is considered a sign of lesbianism due to the popularity among lesbians. If you drive a Subaru Outback, it probably doesn't help.
You don't really look like a lesbian from the picture. So it could probably be do something with how you dress and your makeup. The advice I always get is check out Goodwill or other such places for cheap finds and then tailor them. It's cheaper than buying new. |
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