Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14799
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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 Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well I've had a few boyfriends, that never lasted very long....and things always seemed to go downhill after things get really intimate. But for now there's me and a really close male friend.....but the dudes like twice my age so we've decided it would not be appropriate to date, but we always hang out and I stay at his house a lot, we do sleep separately. But yeah he's admitted to me that he does find me attractive and cares quite a lot for me and I certainly really care about him I mean the way we are is almost like being in a relationship but without the intimacy. Officially we consider ourselves friends but if it wasn't for that age difference there may very well have been more then that(maybe, though as of late I've been thinking I might be asexual.)But yeah so that's the sort of relationships I get into I suppose.
But I don't know if I am an average aspie.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 01, 2011
Posts: 443
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Why does the age difference have to be such a big deal if you are compatible in so many ways? |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14799
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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| bruinsy33 wrote: | | Why does the age difference have to be such a big deal if you are compatible in so many ways? |
Well that's really just one reason but I guess we just find that idea a bit uncomfortable, other then that I've never enjoyed taking things to full levels of intamacy in the past hence the reason I think I could be asexual...and well since that has been my experience I feel taking things that far just might ruin what we already have because that would probably make it awkward like all my past relationships.
I prefer to keep the friendship.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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AScomposer13413
Complacent Composer
Joined: Feb 02, 2012
Posts: 2047
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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I know this has been said already, but what's an average aspie?  |
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Keeno
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 09, 2006
Posts: 4948
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:35 am Post subject: |
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And are we talking about the average male Aspie, or average female Aspie? Or an average of a blend of the two?
If it's the former, biological and evolutionary dynamics would mean the answer is different. If it's a blend of the two I'd guess the answer is a relationship with someone equally as different to, or equally as much on the margins of, their community as the average Aspie is. |
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Algorithm
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 28
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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I think most of the time people get the relationships they work for.
I'm a strange mix. Into philosophy, political science, sociology, BDSM (too haha), need time alone more than my boyfriend would like and trying to find a balance. Intellectually and sexually it's perfect but he's abusive (verbally) when he thinks I might be forgetting about him and don't call for a week or something. So we have a relationship constantly strained by my being a mute and his being a brute sometimes...
It's hard, but I'm sticking with it. We are going to get counseling to help see each other's sides better and hopefully eventually get married (ahhhhhh!!!). I guess I'm trying to say there isn't really a way to map it out until you meet someone it's worth drawing a map with. You can find anything you need if you're truthful and persistent. There is someone out there and maybe it won't be the kind of relationship you imagined of will be awesome for you;) Good luck! Get out there...it takes a lot of time and effort but worth it! |
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fraac
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Posts: 1865
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| 'Average' is probably misleading. I'd bet aspies have either no relationships, very bad ones or exceptionally good ones. Extremes, probably. I've always been all or nothing. |
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