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kamesponge
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 11:41 pm Post subject: Talking to professors |
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When I was in my first year, I had an adviser based on the freshman seminar I took. I didn't speak in class for the most part. I loved the subject and got significantly better at writing about it but, when it came to speaking to the teacher in a non-classroom setting, I absolutely had no idea how to go about it. I saw others performing small talk and getting the professor's approval and I understood that I was supposed to the same but I had no idea how to do so. I know that I need to cultivate some sort of relationship with at least two professors so that I can have people to tap for recommendations and general help but I don't know how to talk to them.
In the past, I was able to get away with not knowing how to speak to teachers because in high school, it was generally allowable that I didn't know how to talk to them since they understood that I was good at the subject and shy. In college, these things don't matter with so many others vying for their attentions.
Has anyone had these same problems and how did you get past them? Are there any sure ways to create small talk with them? How is that you generally speak to them? |
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cathylynn
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 25, 2011
Posts: 2021
Location: northeastern US
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| you could ask if they follow any of the college's sports teams and what they like best about their team. ask what their favorite vacation was and why. conpliment some article of their clothing if you like it. try "the fine art of small talk" by debra fine. |
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Stargazer43
Scruffy-looking Nerf Herder
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Posts: 1328
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:43 am Post subject: |
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The best way to build a relationship with them is to ask questions, I find. If you show up at their office hours frequently to ask questions about something you went over in class, or a problem you're having with some homework, not only will they usually be more than likely to help, but they will learn who you are and develop a relationship with you. You don't have to really make much small talk, just show up and say "I had a few questions I was hoping you could answer" and ask away! And always make sure to thank them for their time when finished. This will show them that you're interested in the course material and also willing to go out of your way to learn it to the best of your ability. Also make sure to do well in their classes too if you want them to write a recommendation letter  |
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Woodpecker
I am not a jigsaw ! I am a free man !
Joined: Oct 19, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 2323
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:23 am Post subject: |
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I think that you may be thinking of playing a very dangerous game !
Many profs have a "Bullshit detector" which reacts to insincere praise and flattery, once it goes off they will take a dim view of you.
How do you know if the prof is a sport's fan ? If he is not then going on about the college football/basket ball/whatever team will either bore or irk them.
Most profs like it more when a person is showing a genuine interest in their subject, the prof's dream student is a bright student who which is internally motivated to study the subject and who has a genuine deep understanding of the subject.
_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity  I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man ! |
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DeadalusRex
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:50 am Post subject: |
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| I've had this same problem-- it's not always so simple. This is a professional situation-- you are not trying to be their friend so standard small talk is not necessarily a good idea, especially if it doesn't come naturally! But If you were a really good/really engaged student profs will remember you small talk or no. Stargazer is also right-- if you have questions comments related to course material, or resources or interesting related stuff you have found on your own that's the best. If you don't want to chat about it in person-- you can just email them (don't overdo it, and don't get upset if you get ignored. If you can bring yourself to speak up in class even occasionally that's good or better too.) A good strategy can be to write down a question or comment before you ask it so that it's more likely to be relevant and concise. In a lot of classes there's little relationship between who talks a lot and who has interesting things to say-- many profs really wish better students talked more. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 45
Posts: 1001
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:17 am Post subject: |
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| Stargazer43 wrote: | | The best way to build a relationship with them is to ask questions, I find. If you show up at their office hours frequently to ask questions about something you went over in class, or a problem you're having with some homework, not only will they usually be more than likely to help, but they will learn who you are and develop a relationship with you. You don't have to really make much small talk, just show up and say "I had a few questions I was hoping you could answer" and ask away! And always make sure to thank them for their time when finished. This will show them that you're interested in the course material and also willing to go out of your way to learn it to the best of your ability. Also make sure to do well in their classes too if you want them to write a recommendation letter |
This is the best advice. Ask questions about the reading, about further reading in topics that interest you, and about ways to develop those interests into careers. This is not a "game," it's what professors are for. It's also the only way they will know who you are and that you are genuinely interested in the work. If possible, once you've established a relationship with them, ask if there are any volunteer opportunities on campus in your field of study. You never know, someone may have a research project or center that may need a few hours of help from an undergrad; this is also a good way to make connections for later recommendations. |
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Pyrite
Sealion
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1247
Location: Mid-Atlantic United States
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:52 pm Post subject: Re: Talking to professors |
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| kamesponge wrote: | | In the past, I was able to get away with not knowing how to speak to teachers because in high school, it was generally allowable that I didn't know how to talk to them since they understood that I was good at the subject and shy. In college, these things don't matter with so many others vying for their attentions. |
Maybe that's true if your classes have 100 people in this, it may be because mine tended to be closer to 30 (and sometimes less) that my experience was different.
I found that even though it was really hard to talk to professors outside of class (I'm still terrible at it, one misunderstanding after another), if I talked enough (but not too much) during class and showed I was good at it they would know who I am at least in the short or medium term. I usually relied on recommendations from professors from the most recent few semesters.
Often they remembered me better and longer than I thought though. I found last semester that a professor from whom I took several classes a long time ago remembered me perfectly even though I hadn't taken one with him in at least 2 years (might have been more than that even), which was ironic since I had decided the semester before not to ask him to be my adviser on the grounds he "wouldn't remember me"! 
Professors remember the people who speak most in class, none of mine have ever gotten to know me "personally" outside of class but that's not that side of me I need them to know (in fact they probably like my in class personality better, the structure and the fact that people aren't entirely focused on me, the ability to speak only when I have something good to say makes me more "social") they know how I handle the subject and become impressed, and since I work in a bit of humor now an again actually appreciate me personally in some ways depending on the professor.
If you only need recommendations, that's plenty, if you want a lifelong friendship with a mentor like you see in the movies, you probably need a different strategy. |
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Eldanesh
Toucan
Joined: May 29, 2010
Age: 21
Posts: 292
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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I was scouted out of high school to a prof's research group and got ensured paid work every summer-- he was actually the 4th prof I had some working relationship with before I was even out of high school, and just to be clear, I had no family or friend relations to any of them.
It's really easy if you have AS. Don't try to be what you're not, and get straight to the point -- talk to them about their research, and by that I mean their research *that interests you as well*. Read their papers, ask about what they're doing with grad and other students. If you show them your interest it is unlikely they will hate you, seeing as you appreciate their work. Profs are ultimately specialists and academia tends to draw spectrum people, so just play to that.
Environment does factor in a bit, with some profs having huge classes to deal with and some not : however, all of them usually have office hours, and all of them have e-mail, so just work it in. Going to them and asking real questions you have on course material is a pretty good non BS-way to build a bit of confidence in your relationship before you ask them about their work outside of class, if you feel you need to do things that way.
Regards,
Eldanesh |
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