dark_angel198911
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 21, 2011
Posts: 24
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 Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:40 am Post subject: Does having aspergers make u immature? |
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| I mean like for your age. |
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Bun
Bunnymen
Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:02 am Post subject: |
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| Well, people can equate immaturity with anything - people might even tell you liking cake is 'for kids' - but I think immaturity is the lack of emotional readiness to deal with situations that your age group does. Do I think all Aspies are like that? My answer is inconclusive. Some definitely are like that, though. |
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schleppenheimer
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 01, 2006
Posts: 1625
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:33 am Post subject: |
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This is what I have heard, and read, over the years -- that people with Aspergers, as young people, tend to be two to three years behind in social skills. For example, most boys start to become interested in girls, give or take, around 12 or 13 years of age. So this means that a kid with Aspergers may not become interested in girls until they are around 16 -- and if presented with an opportunity before that age, won't know how to handle it. I have also heard, and read, over the years, that once someone with Aspergers is in their twenties, they catch up to others and the supposed "immaturity" is no longer an issue.
From my experience with two sons on the spectrum, this has proved to be true. My youngest son is just now showing a slight interest in girls, and he is almost 16. Up until now -- absolutely ZERO interest. His jokes tend to be more like a 12 year old's jokes, his interest in TV shows has been slightly less mature than other kids his age, etc. I'm not worried though -- my other son "caught up" when he was in his twenties, and so I expect my younger son will do the same. |
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Kjas
Onçinha
Joined: Feb 27, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 4897
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:04 am Post subject: |
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It can go either way.
Some people are mentally mature well before their time, almost like they were born 35. Others will be mentally immature and lag quite a few years behind their peers.
Emotional maturity is separate from mental maturity, and often we tend to lag behind in this area. Some people are 5 - 10 years behind their peers in the emotional department, others will be the usual 2-3 years behind. Some of us are emotionally mature before we should be also, it entirely depends on the person.
Someone can be mentally mature but still be emotionally immature, or the opposite can be true. The two don't necessary go hand in hand.
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dark_angel198911
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 21, 2011
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Well that's good. I'm 23 and act 16 so idk how that would come across to ppl. |
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nikki191
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 23, 2010
Posts: 143
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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It is a hard one for me to deal with. my interests havent changed since i was 16 and im 39 now. As for emotional maturity that too seems to of stagnated around 15/16.
So in my case yes it does make me immature. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13498
Location: My house
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Sure. But anyone can be immature and it's not exclusive to autism. |
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BuyerBeware
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 35
Posts: 1038
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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I think we live in a society where being different from what is expected causes you to be judged as immature.
Some of the things our society thinks of as "mature"-- like being judgmental, materialistic, and good at lying-- are traits I hope I never develop.
I've grown to understand that you need them to be considered a respectable and fully functioning member of American society...
...and now in addition to being in some ways childlike I'm ashamed of it, bitter and hateful and angry.
Good luck.
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ExcitinglyOpaque
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 08, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 56
Location: Kentucky
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Kjas wrote: | | It can go either way. |
It can go both ways in one person, too. That said, I know I'm youthful. The other day, someone asked if my teenage daughter and I were twins! |
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Halligeninseln
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Age: 59
Posts: 377
Location: Central Europe
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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My mother predicted when I was young that I would go from immaturity to old age with nothing in between and this seems to in fact have happened  . I don't act immature as such, it's just that I've done none of the normal things that adults do, or if I've sometimes sort of half done those things it's always been a few years or decades late  . Oh well. |
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Ivasha
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 12, 2012
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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I'm mature for my age in terms of wisdom. I've learned this is an odd thing to claim about oneself but can't really describe it any better. One person told me that I 'see things as they are'. Apparently that's rare *shrug*
However I'm consistently estimated 5-10(!) years younger than I am. Rather frustrating as I have vivid 'what the hell do you know you're only a kid' memories that keep being dragged up that way  I was also considered 'too young' for jobs in which I wouldn't have been the youngest in the team. |
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Lukecash12
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 13, 2012
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 6:04 pm Post subject: Re: Does having aspergers make u immature? |
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| dark_angel198911 wrote: | | I mean like for your age. |
Well, it depends on the age, doesn't it? I honestly think people with aspergers can be pretty behind at certain ages, and pretty ahead at other ages. There's the younger years, where everyone has to focus on being an intellectual at the same time that "everyone is out to get them", or "hates them"... Basically, really defensive thinking because it's hard to be so different while you've not yet reached the age group where more people can handle that. The issue of taking care of ourselves, I think makes it harder for people on the spectrum to mature, too. Not to offend anyone here, but I would say that not having to prioritize and cooperate does stunt the process of maturity a little bit. Does this always hold true? Well, not much always holds true for people on the spectrum, except for having similar symptoms and thought processes. Some young AS people can be totally different from what I've just described.
But then again, older folk on the spectrum can have astounding intellects, are very honest with themselves about their emotions, don't tend to presume quite as much as others in their age group precisely because they are not as good at doing it (you know, with facial expressions and other social gestures). We can tend to presume a lot more when it comes to what people say and type, though.
Basically, I don't think any of the setbacks have too adverse an affect on maturity, as if they can't be coached a bit. Also, we make up for it in other areas of maturity. It's such a toss up, really, that all we can guess about most people on the spectrum is that they'll always be some place different than their peers, when it comes to maturity, for better or worse.
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:05 pm Post subject: |
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I'm 39 and I look much, much younger. I still get carded buying alcohol or cigarrettes sometimes. My lifestyle and priorities would probably be more typically associated with someone in their 20s, and people have a difficult time thinking of me as the age I actually am.
But, people my own age look to me for insight on some things, particularly ethics. I'd say I'm seen as someone who is good at coming up with reasoned solutions to things. There's a real paradox I don't understand, some people have described me as having very high "emotional intelligence" and "interpersonal skills" - but very poor social skills in terms of things like making conversation, comforting someone who is upset, etc. Someone once said I seem to be light years ahead of most people in the theory of dealing with people, but an infant in the actual execution of it. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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I am 22 and I act like a 22 year old with aspergers.......not a 16 year old neurotypical for instance. Point being I do not think Aspergers/Autism can be defined as 'slower neurotypical development.' which is what being years behind social skills or whatever seems to suggest. So I don't really compare myself to younger neurotypicals because I don't really act like them. Now this is not to say I don't ever come off as immature but I don't feel my maturity matches up with neurotypical maturity in the sense it can be compared to the maturity of a younger neurotypical.
Sorry if that is confusing but that's my take on the issue.
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Inyanook
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 204
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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I've always been mature for my age, physically and mentally. Don't mean it as a boast, it's just true. This means I've always got along great with adults, peers not so much. Thankfully I'm growing into my age though! 
I would love to be more immature sometimes. It looks like fun!
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