ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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 Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Well, I'd take my first opportunity to be alone with her (help with making coffee or snacks, or something) and rather than make some insane declaration, ask her out, and if she says to bring Other Guy along, just say no, you'd prefer it if it were just you and her, and if she asks you if you're asking her out, be direct and say yes. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26039
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| That's the main thing - getting her away from the Other Guy is important. If you make moves on her whilst he's there, he'll very skilfully make you look like a fool and she'll probably end up choosing him. You have to be confident and straightforward. Do this with a matter of urgency - don't let your inferiority complex get the better of you. If you do, you might as well tell her to date Other Guy instead. |
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Stargazer43
Scruffy-looking Nerf Herder
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Posts: 1328
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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You shouldn't think in terms of "superior" and "inferior" because that isn't really how things are. You should think more in terms of differences. The other guy has his particular set of interests and skills, and you have your own unique ones, that are not any better or worse than his...simply unique. It takes a lot more than good looks and chess playing skills to make a person  . Not to mention, the qualities you mention about yourself are both extremely desirable traits to have, not just in terms of dating but really in all avenues of life.
In terms of what to do, I'd suggest asking her out somewhere without the "other guy" present. I would also suggest trying to act more optimistic and happy, even though you stated that you may not feel that way. A little optimism can go a long way, and people are usually much more receptive to someone they perceive as being happy and satisfied. |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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The last few posts seem to indicate that the general opinion is that I should try to get some one on one time with her and ask her out.
This question is going to seem strange, but how exactly would one word such a request? I have no idea how that's done. What do I say?
Also, how do I get her alone to do this? I might actually have an idea for once. I could simply ask, "Can I have a word with you in private?" Would that work? |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 874
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that sounds like a lovely idea! I think you're gettin' the hang of this |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | I think that sounds like a lovely idea! I think you're gettin' the hang of this |
Yeah, that part I think I'm okay with. The problem is I have no idea how to word the subsequent question, in which I ask her out. |
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AScomposer13413
Complacent Composer
Joined: Feb 02, 2012
Posts: 2047
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:45 am Post subject: |
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| The_Postmaster wrote: | | IlovemyAspie wrote: | | I think that sounds like a lovely idea! I think you're gettin' the hang of this |
Yeah, that part I think I'm okay with. The problem is I have no idea how to word the subsequent question, in which I ask her out. |
Here's one way: "Do you want to <insert activity here> sometime?"
"Do you want to go to the movies sometime?"
"Do you want to grab a coffee sometime?"
Those are just two examples. So long as you know what you want to do, you have a way to phrase it! |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:53 am Post subject: |
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| Joker wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: | | Remember it's easy to judge yourself and take a self defeatist attitude, it's more difficult to be understanding towards yourself. You shouldn't jump to conclusions based on what she is feeling, simply ask her first and find out how she is feeling. |
I also enjoy what Wolfheart posts on WP he gives great advice, |
Thanks Joker, you give a lot of kind and good support to other members.
| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | Yes Joker Wolfheart does give great advice Very Happy |
Thanks  . |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:11 am Post subject: |
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| The_Postmaster wrote: | The last few posts seem to indicate that the general opinion is that I should try to get some one on one time with her and ask her out.
This question is going to seem strange, but how exactly would one word such a request? I have no idea how that's done. What do I say?
Also, how do I get her alone to do this? I might actually have an idea for once. I could simply ask, "Can I have a word with you in private?" Would that work? |
A simple, are you busy next week would do. How you get her alone is up to you.
Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:34 am; edited 1 time in total |
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spongy
...
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 7402
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| CrazyStarlightRedux wrote: | This makes me think that I should join a Chess Club and see where it takes me now...
Just ask her! |
You dont have to join a chess club to meet women.
I joined a bible reading club(dont ask) and there have been several people asking me about some of the girls I met there(we went to some sort of open mic night as a group and took some pictures that ended up on fb). Basically anything that means going out and interacting with people of any sex should be helpful since it means having to work on your social skills and usually leads to progress. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26039
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:23 am Post subject: |
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| ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | How you get her alone is up to you. |
Be confident and discreet when you do it though, and be prepared to be flexible (but also don't roll over). |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Okay. Thank you, everyone, for all of your advice. We'll see how it goes on Tuesday. Confident, discreet. Flexible, but not rolling over. I think I can do this if I bear these things in mind. |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Sounds like a plan. Don't come on strong. Be casual about it. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 874
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm super excited for you! please let us know how things work out. |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:51 am Post subject: |
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Yes. Full report on Wed
_________________
Claude
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