Post 4542597 - (Anyone else hate being called by name?)

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Anyone else hate being called by name?

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mrspotatohead
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 187

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:41 pm Post subject: Anyone else hate being called by name?

I always hated my first name. I remember screaming "I hate my name" over and over when I was a kid. It's not even a bad name--a lot of people have told me they like it. A few years ago, I tried changing my name. I went by this new name that I'd picked out myself and really wanted to embody. But the name embodied me, instead. It still felt extremely awkward and annoying to hear someone call my (new) name. I have since realized that it is not the name I dislike but being referred to by name at all. I would actually much prefer to be called "Hey, you!"--the opposite of what manners dictate--than be addressed by name. Has anyone else experienced this?

CyclopsSummers
tunnel visionary
Phoenix

Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 1903

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:46 pm Post subject:

Yes. I think it's a form of detachment between name and identity. I'm not particularly fond of my name. It's difficult to pronounce/spell for other Dutch people, so I have to keep explaining it. I never quite liked the sound of it, so I used to not like being called by it, but now I'm mostly indifferent to it. I tried to change my first name into something else, but I dropped that pretty soon after. I don't associate my 'self' with any name, either. _________________ clarity of thought before rashness of action

Jtuk
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Jan 22, 2012
Posts: 732
Location: Wales, UK

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:47 pm Post subject:

I always find my name a little odd, like it belongs to a child or someone else. I have a few nicknames that are OK also. My name related problem is that I never introduce myself very well, so people tend not to know my name or get it wrong. I don't correct people when they get it wrong, I don't see the point. Jason

crookedfingers
Blue Jay

Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 97
Location: Lincolnshire, England

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:47 pm Post subject:

Me too, it doesn't help that there are several songs and novels related to my first name that have been used to tease me throughout my life, and even normally well conducted people who I have never met before tend to burst out into a particularly offensive song when they learn my name Although for some reason, I think I would be much more comfortable with a male or neutral name, mine is very girly and I find that uncomfortable about it, too. Having said that, I do have trouble thinking of a name that I think would be "me"

mrspotatohead
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 187

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:52 pm Post subject:

Jtuk wrote:

I always find my name a little odd, like it belongs to a child or someone else. I have a few nicknames that are OK also.

My name related problem is that I never introduce myself very well, so people tend not to know my name or get it wrong. I don't correct people when they get it wrong, I don't see the point.

Jason

Yeah, that's a problem I have with my real name--I tend to mumble it when I tell it to people, so they end up calling me a popular brand of perfume or a popular VS model. I often don't correct them because once they've heard it wrong, it's as if they can't hear the correct pronunciation afterward anyway.

sociable_hermit
Rabbit in the headlights
Phoenix

Joined: Aug 26, 2006
Posts: 1592
Location: Sussex, UK

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:54 pm Post subject:

Not sure if this is relevant, but I really object to people who don't know me using my name over and over. Salesmen trying to come over as my best mate when they're blatantly just trying to sell something. It's patronising and over-familiar. Apparently it's a recognised sales technique to build rapport, but I wonder if it ever works? All it does is annoy the hell out of me. _________________ The Sociable Hermit says: Rock'n'Roll...

Wandering_Stranger
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Posts: 1192

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:54 pm Post subject:

Yes. Not helped by the fact that either no-one can say it or spell it.

DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:57 pm Post subject:

I feel like using my first name (my christian name) is very personal and even though it's pretty archaic manners wise, it feels very disrespectful to me when someone who is a stranger or a person I do not like uses it. If you're a stranger, I like miss, or miss last name. If I hate you, I prefer you die in a pit, but if that's inconvenient I'll settle for you not talking about me at all.

Vito
Raven
Raven

Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 100
Location: Czech Republic

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:13 pm Post subject:

I used to hate my name; now I do not mind to be called by it, but I am not happy about it either. What is interesting, is the fact I rarely use other people's names when talking to them, though when talking about them, I have no problem with name reference......

ocdgirl123
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Oct 11, 2010
Age: 18
Posts: 2447

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:17 pm Post subject:

I don't dislike people calling me by my name, but I don't like my name much. Everyone says "that's a pretty name", but I wish I had a different name. Still, it's not the worst name ever. I really dislike people calling me by my last name, it's not so bad if they don't add a "miss" beside it. It feels too formal and I am comfortable with "casual" than "formal". Wander_Stranger, though my name was on the top 100 list for girls in the year I was born (near the end, in the late 80's I think), so it isn't a super uncommon name or anything, but everyone says it wrong and spells it wrong because it has different ways it can be said and spelled. I am actually impressed when people say it right.

Bun
Bunnymen
Phoenix

Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:19 pm Post subject:

Yes - to me it's wanting to willingly dissociate.

hanyo
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3566

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:23 pm Post subject:

I think I'm more ok with my name now but when I was younger bullies in school would say my name as though it were a taunt or an insult. That probably was part of what made me hate my name for a while.

redrobin62
Doppelgänger
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 4077
Location: Seattle, WA

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:36 pm Post subject: My name

I'm a male. In this country my first name - Robin - is basically female though there are several famous male Robins: Robin Williams, Batman & Robin, Robin Hood, etc. For years I used my middle name - Ray. I've learned to accept Robin now because it's me, it defines me, it's who I am, and if people don't like it that's too bad. They need to broaden their perspective, not me.

65536
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 191

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:51 pm Post subject:

I don't hate, but dislike my name. I usually don't use any names when I don't need to and I call other people by name to distinguish them. I had a friend in high school, but his name was unknown for me for about 3 years. I don't need names to talk to some people.