Funny autistic moments

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Do you have any funny autistic memories that make you laugh?

Here is one of my favorite memories. At the age of nearly four years old, my son still was not potty trained. I did not know that he was autistic at the time. He only spoke in one word sentences. He mostly used hand gestures. I just purchased a book about how to potty train kids. My son insisted that I read the entire 150 page book to him.

After I read the book, I pointed to various difficult words for him to read. He could read any word in the book about potty training. He could arguably decode any word in the book. Yet, the boy would still poop in his diaper.

I was fascinated by words, and my dad caught me reading the phone book more than once looking up unusual names.

I used to read and enjoy reading dictionaries. loved having a bigger more complex vocabulary than kids my age. also used to read thesauruses.
normal books would just boar me and put me to sleep.

My parents would jokingly call me "Rain Boy" to each other when I was a child because I used to count in my sleep. Cracks me up how close to accurate that was.

Id add up the prices of groceries as we shopped, but when I do math even in my head my lips are moving so people kinda look at ya funny, when I say the numbers to myself in my head it helps me to remember them. I dont have to move lips but Im more focused when I do and if I shamelessly talk out loud I can do decent sized numbers. Its kinda hard to explain so Ill type out an example as precise as I can;

Ok so shopping and adding stuff, I line things up mentally so no decimal till end, and I dont say the numbers like "One thousand two hundred forty one" I say "one, two, four, one"

899
899 plus 345 x 2 690 899
690 899 14 18 9
690 899 14 18 9; 14 1 5 1 5 8 9
1589 .....

And so on
Taxable items make it interesting but typing that out would be painful. A prolonging factor is my need to repeat the equation over and over only making a few small changes each time. So if I do something like,
568 + 299 x 8.9%
Its gonna take me about 30 seconds and ill will have said 568 at least a dozen times. I suspect this constraining action stems from OCD, all of my obsessive behavioral phases develop this same way. I am easily distracted, and I would forget part of the equation if I left it alone for too long before the distraction. Realizing its gone send me into panic and I lose it all. So I constantly wanted to make sure I remembered, thus more mental work

In a classroom setting this was never needed, I can write things down I dont want in my mind. But I still often had a different way I wanted to write everything out, and a few math teachers I had to plea with to allow an exception

When I was on the psych ward, every time I was coerced into doing art therapy by the nurses, I would refuse to do art. I would sort the colours out in order of RGB values, I would take the textbook I had in my room into the art room and read it, I would get some soapy water and insist on cleaning the room, etc, and if they gave me a piece of paper and said I had to do art, I would make up mathematical equations for various things, and derive them on the paper. Or I would do matrix mathematics on the paper.

Eventually the nurses gave up on trying to get me to draw and allowed me to take my textbook with me and my mp3 player and leave me in the corner, as far away from the group as possible.

I had told a friend that I have AS about a week before this happened. The next week, we were talking, and she asked, "How are you?" So I told her how I was. Then, like five minutes later, after the how are you conversation was over, I suddenly exlaimed, "OH! How are you?!" (Because I just remembered to ask.)

She said something like, "That was cute. You don't have to ask back every time. Sometimes it's okay not to."

It makes me laugh.

I didn't have any friends in grade school, but when I was 12 I moved away from a school I'd been attending since age 4, so the kids knew who I was, even if they didn't really know me.

On my last day of school, a couple of the students gave me a present - it was a dictionary.

Apparently because they thought I liked to read the dictionary.

I always found it amusing that when I was very young, all the other kids would leave me alone to my imagination until they had a problem they needed solved. They'd bring little things to me (like quarters, or pieces of candy) and bribe me in to helping them

DS cracks me up on a regular basis - why kids aren't called 'grown downs' when adults are referred to as grown ups.
He finds humour in puns - a tin of baked beans, marked as Heinz Beanz and he thought that was pretty funny (he has taught himself to read)

One problem I have is hypersensitivity to noise. Anyway, one day I was sat in the front room and had a cup of tea in my hand. The dog was in the dinning room and barked. My response was to drop my tea all over myself. I looked as though I'd wet myself.

Thankfully, I didn't burn myself.

Really funny.

Sometimes when I talk to a person about a subject we've previously talked about, the person doesn't recall the previous conversation or parts of it. I usually repeat parts the conversation we had before, so that they can remember. This seems to make people smile most of the time

At a work retreat, we had an activity to see who could remember our company's mission statement; whoever was closest won a plush animal. I thought about it for a second, and thought to myself, "I know this."

I left out one word. Nobody else was remotely close. I think I stunned everyone in the room.